Burn
by thegreatwhitewolf
Summary: The destinies of four intertwine in the Psychiatric Ward and the long healing process can begin. AU AkuRoku, Zemyx, mild AkuZeku. Told from multiple POVs.
1. Chapter 1 Sora Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them.

A/N: This just randomly entered my brain and I thought I would write it down before I lost it. Please be warned that this is my first Kingdom Hearts fic so there will be much OOCness. This is also AU, so said OOCness will be sort of understandable. Please let me know if I'm doing anything wrong because I really want this to be right. Everything will be explained in time.

Warning: This will be an AkuRoku yaoi fic so if you are not comfortable with this pairing, then leave now or forever hold your peace. There will be other yaoi pairings as well—Soriku and Cleon. I couldn't resist putting in the first couple and the second…well you'll see.

Chapter 1 Sora

Roxas jumped today.

I should have seen it coming. I mean, the signs were all there. He was depressed, moody, restless, irritable, withdrawn, sullen, and angry. Why didn't I see it beforehand? So much for twin intuition. I wasn't able to stop him from jumping but an awning did, thank god. Or else there'd be my brother's guts splattered all over the pavement under the clock tower. Thank god for the awning. Of course, it wasn't able to hold his weight and he fell anyway, but it wasn't as far and it wasn't as painful. I think. I'm not the one who tried to kill myself by jumping off the clock tower.

Roxas's friend Olette was the one who saw him at the top of the clock tower, too close to the edge. She was just afraid he was going to lose his footing and fall. She couldn't believe it (and neither could I really) when Roxas jumped. Even from far away, we could tell that he had jumped and not simply lost his footing and fallen.

Olette's eyes widened and her hands flew to her mouth as she watched my brother fall. I ran forward but there was nothing I could do. Thank god for the awning. It had only been there a couple days, a new experiment. It looked hideous, but without it, my brother would have died instantaneously. He ripped through it and crashed to the concrete pretty hard. There was a sickening crunching sound as the majority of his body weight pressed down on his left arm and the bone snapped under all the pressure. The back of Roxas's skull came in contact with the concrete with a dull thud. After a few moments' hesitation, Olette ran off, screaming for help. I ran forward, my eyes wide.

"Roxas! Roxas! " I cried. No answer. "Roxas please!" Roxas was unresponsive. Several people came running, being led by Olette. Someone called an ambulance. I stared at Roxas's body tangled in what was left of the awning. The only part of him that moved was his chest, rising and falling with every breath he took. It was the only sign that he was still alive. The paramedics came and lifted him onto a stretcher, being careful to not jolt the broken arm. They placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and wheeled him to the ambulance. I stepped forward.

"Please let me come," I pleaded. "He's my brother."

The paramedics shared a surprised look.

"All right. Come on," one of them growled.

I followed them. Roxas was loaded into the back. The less grumpy of the two paramedics extended her hand and helped me into the back. The doors were closed and we took off. The paramedic in the back examined Roxas and then turned to me. She asked me questions about Roxas, such as his age, date of birth, medical allergies, ect. Once I had answered her questions, she turned back to Roxas. I got lost in my own thoughts at that point about the two of us.

We're twins, you know. Not identical, though ironically enough, we have a lot in common looks-wise. We have the same shaped face, the same nose, the same lips, and the same shaped eyes. Our eye color is slightly different—his eyes are a shade or two lighter than mine even though we both have blue eyes. Our hair color is also different. He's a blondie and I'm a brunette. However, our hair does stick up in the same annoying way, though I've been told that my hair is a bit spikier than his. People are always able to tell that we're twins.

My thoughts got interrupted when we arrived at the hospital. Roxas was wheeled out and taken into the hospital. I followed…to a certain point. After a while, a nurse ushered me into a waiting room.

"Is there anything I can get for you, dear?" she asked in a kind voice.

"Do you know where I can find a phone?" I asked.

She gave me directions. I thanked her and she left. I waited for a few minutes before leaving. I wandered down the halls until I found a row of payphones. They were all vacant. I chose one at the very end. Thankfully, I always had a bunch of spare change in my pockets. The first person I called was Riku, my boyfriend.

"Riku?" I asked, when he picked up.

"Yeah?" he responded.

"It's me. Sora."

"What's up?" he sounded concerned.

"Riku…my brother tried to kill himself," I said in a small voice.

"What?" Riku asked, taken aback.

"He tried to jump off the clock tower. I'm up at the hospital."

"Okay. I'm coming to the hospital. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay." I sniffed softly, fighting back my tears.

I hung up the phone, pulled out more change, and called more people. When I had finished, I went back into the waiting room. About five minutes later, Riku walked in, his sea green eyes filled with concern.

"Sora…are you okay?" he asked, stepping forward.

"I…think so," I answered weakly, moving into his waiting arms.

He wrapped them around me and pulled me close to his chest. I shivered slightly and shook in his arms. Tears cascaded down my face and I sobbed into his shoulder. He simply held me into his arms. Finally, I calmed down enough to allow him to lead me over to a set of chairs in the corner. We sat, out fingers intertwined. People began to arrive, people we knew. I had only called a handful of people so those people must have called more people. Friends I knew from school had come, friends of both Roxas and mine—Hayner, Pence, Olette, Kairi, a blonde girl I had seen at school who had her eye on Roxas named Naminé, our godfather Leon and his boyfriend Cloud, and many others.

"Sora…are you okay?" Leon asked warily. He was not very good with things like this.

I nodded. "I think so."

"What exactly happened?" Cloud asked, his piercing blue eyes fixed on me.

"I…I was downtown…doing some shopping and…Olette came running and said that Roxas was up on the clock tower and he was close to the edge. She was afraid that he was going to fall so I came running and…" I took a deep breath. "He jumped. Just like that." Riku gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Are you sure he didn't just lose his footing and fall?" Leon questioned.

"I'm absolutely sure, " I whispered.

"I saw him fall too," Olette spoke up. "He definitely didn't slip."

Leon sighed softly and rubbed his forehead. "But why? Why would he do such a thing?"

"I don't know!" I choked out, grief overcoming me once again.

"Shh Sora," Riku murmured, passing me a tissue. "You've gotta calm down, okay? You've gotta be strong."

"I don't know if I can." I wiped my eyes with the tissue Riku handed me.

"Excuse me?" a male voice asked. I looked up. There was a tall, broad-chested man with russet colored hair in a stained lab coat standing in the doorway. A doctor no doubt. "You're Roxas's brother right?"

"Yes."

"How is he?" Leon demanded.

"Are you the boy's father?" the doctor asked.

"I'm his godfather," Leon answered harshly.

"Where are their parents?"

"Not here. I act as the boys' guardian when their parents are not present."

"I see."

"How is Roxas?" I asked.

The doctor sighed softly. "His physical injuries were minimal. He bruised a few ribs, fractured his arm, and he has a slight concussion. But…"

I didn't like where this was going.

"But what?" I demanded.

The doctor sighed softly again. "For reasons we cannot explain, he has fallen into a coma."

"What?!" I cried, getting to my feet and letting go of Riku's hand.

"We cannot explain why this is. We think he's mentally unstable and are requesting a full psychological evaluation to be done as soon as he wakes up."

My head was swimming. Mentally unstable? Full psychological evaluation. Oh god, no. Not Roxas. Not sweet Roxas. I wanted to cry. My throat tightened.

"Can I…see him?" I asked.

Everyone stared at me.

"I'm not sure…that would be the best thing for you right now," the doctor said softly.

"Please," I whispered. "He's my brother. I need to see him."

The doctor sighed softly. "Very well. Come with me. I'm afraid I can only let you go in."

"What? Why?" I asked.

"We've moved him into another room with a young man who also attempted suicide. He's also mentally unstable and having a bunch of people in the room might upset him."

"Okay. I understand."

I followed the doctor down the halls that all looked the same. Finally, he stopped.

"This is the room," he said. "I just want to warn you about the other young man inside. His name is Axel. Be very careful because he's very unstable and gets upset easily."

"All right." I nodded.

The doctor opened the door in front of us. There were two beds on opposite sides of the room. One had curtains drawn around it for privacy. The other held my brother. I gave a soft cry and rushed forward. Roxas looked so much younger lying there. Beneath all the messy blond hair were bandages wrapped around his forehead. He had been dressed in a standard hospital gown. His left arm was in both a sling and a cast. Perspiration clouded the plastic oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. A machine monitored his vital signs. He was perfectly normal…except for the fact that he was in a coma.

"I'll leave you in peace for now," the doctor said.

He ducked out of the room. I walked forward and looked down at my brother's face. He looked…relatively peaceful, all things considered. I reached out and gently stroked his uninjured arm.

"Hey Roxas," I said softly. Tears clouded my vision.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" said a voice.

A pale hand reached up and pulled back the curtain on the other side of the room. The occupant of the bed was revealed, an older boy around seventeen or so. He had shockingly red hair and bright green eyes. Underneath each eye were teardrop tattoos. He also wore a hospital gown. His arms and legs were bandaged. He stared over at me with curiosity reflecting in his green eyes. He had to be Axel.

"Who might you be?" he asked curiously.

"I'm Sora. Roxas's brother," I answered plainly.

"Twins?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you twins?"

"Yes."

_How would he know that?!_ I thought wildly.

Axel's lips curled up into a smirk, as if he could read my thoughts. "You look a lot alike."

"Oh."

I didn't say anything else. I didn't know if there was anything else I could say.

To be continued…

A/N: Let me know what you thought of this. This is my first Kingdom Hearts fic so I don't know if it's very good. Any advice would be wonderful.

7/9/08-I made several corrections, fixing a bunch of typos I found. I'm mad at myself that I made so many errors, but hey, I'm only a human, right?

4/23/09-More formatting stuff has been changed. Thoughts will be in italics now. I know how to get them even though document manager always seems to eat them. XD Stupid fanfiction dot net. Also, I'm aware that the spacing is screwy. Again, blame document manager. I think I've managed to find all the spacing errors, but let me know if you find any more and I'll fix them. It's fine in MS word but as soon as I upload it into the document manager, the spacing gets screwed up. Not nice!


	2. Chapter 2 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II.

Chapter 2 Axel

Yeah, I finally get a roommate and guess what? He's in a frigging coma. It's just my luck. I swear someone up there hates me. A lot. Why else would I get a roommate who's in a coma? I thought getting a roommate would be exciting, but this is just plain boring. They didn't give me much warning that I was getting a roommate either. A nurse came in about five minutes before they brought him in and she didn't even tell me at first. I had to pry it out of her. So much for keeping us informed. After she told me the happy news, she pulled the curtain around my bed so I couldn't see! What's up with that? I waited until I heard a commotion before pulling back the curtain a little to spy on my new roommate. They wheeled him in. He was so young. Still just a kid. He was…I'd hate to admit it to myself…kinda cute. He fascinated me. Blond hair stood up in uneven spikes, kinda like my hair. His face was heart-shaped and his lips were pressed together in sort of a pout. If only I could see what color eyes he had. I had to rest my arm because keeping it held up like I was made it hurt. I've been in this hospital also known as hell for six weeks and I'm just beginning to be able to move my arms.

I burned myself. Intentionally, but I couldn't help it. I was curious. I wanted to know what it would feel like to burn. I've been interested in fire since I was a little kid. Don't ask me why. I have no clue. One day, I decided that I would see what it was like to burn myself. I had burned so many things in the past, mostly paper, food, bugs. Even some animals. Yeah, that was wrong. I found that out pretty quickly. But I had never burned myself. From the moment I lit the first match and held it to my skin, I grew addicted.

I liked to burn.

My parents didn't like me burning things when I was a kid so they sent me to therapy. Didn't help at all. I went through at least seven therapists before my parents gave up on me. Until my last episode that landed me here. They "evaluated" me and labeled me as "mentally unstable and prone to fits of anger resulting in destructive and self-destructive behaviors." Basically, they say I'm crazy. And I like to burn myself. They suggested major intervention. So far, a bunch of people have come to talk to me while I've been stuck here in bed. I haven't been able to do much. I burned my arms and my legs pretty badly. If my parents hadn't found out and put out the fire I'd started, the rest of me would have burned pretty badly. I may have even died. At first, I didn't feel anything, but after the fire was put out, the pain started. I screamed I think. I was in a haze for a long time. When I finally got out of that, I was lying in this room. Things were also foggy for a while because of some medication they put me on, but they took me off it because I was drowsy all the time. Now I only take it on occasion when they want to drug me.

There was nothing else for me to do once my roommate arrived. He was in a frigging coma. I get bored easily, okay? I didn't even know his name! I laid back on my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to find patterns. Yeah, that's how bored I was. There was nothing else for me to do though. From time to time, a nurse came in and checked on the kid. And every once in a while, my day nurse Becky would come in and check on me. I was just fine—immobilized for the most part, but just fine. Thanks to the painkillers I've been taking, (different ones than before) I don't feel any sort of pain. Unless they wear off. But that's beside the point.  
I'm not really sure how much time had passed before I heard a man's voice. After a few seconds, I recognized the doctor who had been taking care of me, Dr. Leehman or something. He was talking to someone I couldn't see. Curiosity got the better of me and I slowly reached up to pull the curtain back. I sat up to the best of my ability and pushed the curtain back. Then, I laid back down and watched. A brown-haired boy stepped forward and gently stroked my new roommate's good arm.

"Hey Roxas," he said in a quiet voice, filled with sadness.

Roxas. Roxas. What an interesting name. Kinda cute. At least now I knew his name. I needed to know more though, like who that boy was. I cleared my throat, but the boy didn't hear me. The only thing I could do was to say something to him. I thought for a few moments."  
"Well, well, well. What have we here?" I asked. The boy turned, surprised. He had startling blue eyes. He was staring at me. "Who might you be?"

"I'm Sora. Roxas's brother," he said dully.

Guess he's not one for conversation. I stared at them for a little while longer.

"Are you twins?" I asked, unable to control my curiosity.

"Excuse me?" Sora looked mildly surprised.

"Are you twins?" I repeated.

"Yes." He looked very surprised.

I smirked and decided to give him an explanation for my thought. "You look a lot alike."

Sora didn't answer. Yup, definitely not one for talking. He just stared at me like I was crazy.

…

Oh wait. I am.

Whatever.

After a while, Sora excused himself from the room. I caught a glimpse of his face as he left. He was crying. Poor kid. Must be hell to have your twin brother attempt suicide. I heard from the nurses myself. They were talking quietly to each other as they got Roxas settled into his bed. Apparently, the kid tried to jump off the local clock tower. Not exactly my first choice of leaving this place, but whatever. To each his own. An exciting day to be sure. When Becky brought me dinner (hospital food is okay, by the way. Not the greatest, but definitely better than nothing), she was surprised to see my partially open curtain.

"Did you do this, Axel?" she asked, setting my tray of food on the table next to my bed.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"This…" she motioned to the curtain. "Did you open your curtain?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I was curious. I wanted to see what Roxas looked like."

Becky looked surprised. "How did you know his name?"

"That's what the other boy called him…Sora is his name."  
Becky mumbled something under her breath and began the long task of feeding me. Yes, that's right. I have to be fed. I don't have enough arm strength to do it myself. I can push the curtain back and hold my arm up for about five minutes before it hurts (and that's with pain medication. Okay, so I'm not totally numb. Whatever). But that's about it. The doctor said that I'll be able to move my arms again with time. And I'll even be able to walk again. Lucky me. First though, I have to go through physical therapy. Oh joy.

After Becky finished feeding me, she helped me to take my evening meds. Hell if I know what they've put me on. I don't really care. Sara, my night nurse won't be arriving until eight. It's five. So for three more hours, I'm going to be extremely bored. I always have fun with Sara. She's extremely irritable and I always get kicks out of getting under her skin. There's nothing better than torturing your nurse.

Once Becky had left, I decided to look at Roxas and watch him for a while. Nothing was really going on in that department, but I was still interested in watching him. It certainly beat staring at the ceiling and trying to find patterns. Roxas's breathing was regular. His small chest rose and fell, but everything else was perfectly still. I don't know why, but he fascinated me a lot. I ended up watching him until Sara came.

"Hiya sunshine," I greeted her cheerfully.

"Axel, I'm not in the mood for your antics," Sara growled.

"When are you ever, doll face?" I grinned.

Sara rolled her eyes and checked my vital signs. She made a few notes and left. The rest of the night passed uneventfully. I fell asleep around ten or so.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Dr. Lee-whatever came to visit me.

"Good morning Axel. How are you feeling today?" he greeted me cheerfully.

"Fine," I replied through clenched teeth. I'm not a morning person, okay?

"That's good to hear." The doctor smiled. He stepped forward. "Before Becky changes your bandages, I want to have a look at the wounds."

I cringed, but nodded. Dr. Lee-whatever slowly unraveled the bandages. Even though he went slow, it still hurt pretty badly. I held my breath as the last layer of bandages came off. My arm looked strangely shrunken from weeks of not being used. There were pink lines going up and down from the skin grafts they did. They didn't do as many on my arms. I burned myself badly in some places (third degree) and not as badly in other places (second degree). My legs were burned the worst. Actually, I should say my feet got burned the worst. I was reaching down for some unexplainable reason so my arms and hands got burned, but they weren't as bad as my legs.

Dr. Lee-something unwrapped the other arm and examined it, as well as the other.

"Looks good," he said. "Looks very good. Now let's have a look at your legs."

He pushed the curtain back and slid the rolling chair he was sitting in down to my feet. He lifted one up and unwrapped it, then did the other.

"They look good too," he said when he had finished. "You're healing nicely."

"That's good." I didn't know what else to say.

"I'll have Becky rebandage you."

"Okay."

Dr. Lee-something-or-other smiled and left. A few minutes later, Becky came in pushing a cart. She smiled and sat in the chair Dr. Leezman had previously occupied.

"I've got good news Axel." She grinned. "Your arms only need a thin layer of bandages from now on. And no icky goo."

"That is good news," I responded.

Becky quickly got to work wrapping my arms with ace bandages. My legs took a lot longer to do. Becky donned a pair of gloves and had to spread this nasty-smelling goo on the wounds to help them heal faster. It stung quite a bit, but I kept my mouth shut. Becky expertly wrapped my legs in thick gauze. She gave me a quick sponge bath and even washed my hair. When she had finished, she dressed me in a clean gown. With help from another nurse, she put me on a spare gurney and changed my sheets. Then, they moved me back.

"Would you like me to sit you up?" Becky asked after the other nurse had left.

"Yeah," I answered. Becky helped me to sit up and made me comfortable.

Visiting hours began promptly at 10. Even us mentally unstable people are allowed to have visitors… within reason. My parents arrived at 10:05, talking to me as they usually did—like I was a small child. Drives me crazy. They stuck around for a good half hour before I could finally get rid of them. My best friend Zexion came at 11. He at least had the sense to treat me like I was a grown adult. We talked for a good hour before he had to leave—Becky had to give me lunch. After lunch was over, I waited for a while and then the doctor came back in.

"Axel, I want to start you on physical therapy for your arms, okay?" he asked. "It'll be three times a week for just an hour. Sound good?"

"Yeah," I answered.

Physical therapy. Oh joy. I'd just have to wait and see what would happen.

To be continued…

A/N : So, how am I doing so far? Reviews help me to update faster. I hope Axel doesn't seem very OOC.

7/4/08-I made minor corrections to the text because of the typos I found. Also, I corrected an error where it was stated that Axel was in the hospital for three weeks. I originally meant for it to be three weeks but I changed my mind because I thought three weeks wasn't enough time, so I pushed it back to six weeks, but I forgot to change the text. But now, it's fixed. So all is good.

4/23/09-More typos have been found and corrected. And I made sure the spacing was correct this time. –bangs head against wall-


	3. Chapter 3 Roxas Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II.

A/N: All right, now we've got Roxas's perspective on things. Enjoy! Oh yeah, and just to make sure everyone's clear, here are the ages of the characters:

Sora/Roxas: 15

Riku: 16

Kairi/Naminé: 15

Hayner, Pence, and Olette: 15

Axel/Zexion: 17

Cloud/Leon: 28 (yeah Leon's sort of young to be a godfather, but whatever)

More will come as I progress and add in more characters. You can be sure that most, if not all the characters from Organization XIII will be making appearances in this as well as some of the other characters, like Tifa, Cid, Yuffie, ect.

Chapter 3 Roxas

I never should have existed.

That's the plain and simple truth. My parents should never have brought me into this world. Of course, if I hadn't come into this world, then Sora wouldn't have either. So I guess I was good for something. Yeah, we're twins. He's older than me by about five minutes, give or take. We look a lot alike. Our eyes and our hair are different colors but otherwise, we're pretty much identical. Sora's the "good boy". He's the responsible one. He's the mature one. Me, I'm just the invisible child. No joke. My parents rarely notice me and when they do, it's usually to scold me. They love Sora. They totally adore him. To them, he can do no wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous of my brother. I want good things for him. He has the potential to be great. I can see it in him. Me? I'm not destined to be anything. Half the time, my parents don't know I even exist. They don't care about me at all.

I realized this from an early age. My parents would pay attention to Sora all the time and they'd barely even acknowledge my presence. At first, I tried to get their attention by any means necessary, but that didn't work. I think I was about five when I gave that up. I decided that I would just live and not crave my parents' attention. Though deep down, I'm sure I wanted them to notice me so bad. I just kept denying it. I would deny myself happiness so my brother could succeed. And that's what I did. Every single day. I never tried to get my parents' attention after that day. After a while, I began to wonder if I kept pretending that I was invisible, maybe I'd end up vanishing. I tried to get my parents' approval by acting invisible, but even that didn't appease them.

Sora and I were always close. It wasn't just the fact that we were twins. He was a really cool guy to hang out with. His friends were my friends and vice versa. I met my first friend in kindergarten. Hayner. Great guy. A little pushy at times, but I could deal with it. He was incredibly loyal and tough. Sora met Riku at the same time I met Hayner even though Riku was a full year older than us. He had a late birthday so he was held back a year. Those two hit it off right away. They became inseparable. A while later, our little gang took shape. We added Olette, a sweet little girl, then Pence, who was real laid back, Kairi--she had her eye on Sora from the beginning. I'm talking major crush, but he wasn't interested. Not even when we were older, and her twin sister, Naminé, a real sensitive girl. She would cry over the smallest things, but she was incredibly kind.

Our little gang survived elementary school and middle school. It was incredible how close we were through those years. Nothing of any importance happened. I'm dead serious. We live in the most boring town that ever existed. Somehow, we'd find things to do in the summers, eating lots of sea salt ice cream, participating in the Struggle Tournaments (where we beat each other up with sticks. It was fun), or just hanging out. It was great. The rift didn't start until eighth grade, when Sora and Riku began dating. Yeah, my brother's gay. I don't have a problem with that. I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am. I'm not interested in girls, but I've never been interested in guys either. I don't think anyone would notice me enough to want to date me, girl or boy. Our gang is sort of divided in half now—those who accept Riku and Sora as a couple, and those who don't. Kairi and Hayner are more for the latter. Pence and Olette are somewhere in the middle and Naminé and I who completely accept it. He's my brother for god's sake. If he's happy, then I'm happy. Like I said before, I just want my brother to be happy.

I didn't really start feeling isolated until we started high school. A lot of people didn't like the fact that Sora and Riku were a couple and tended to look down on them. And they'd look down on the rest of us who accepted it as well. Meaning me. Not that I'm bitter. I don't give a flying fart what others think of me and neither does Sora. That's another thing that Sora and I have in common.

Well, Kairi managed to get half the school turned against us, saying that Sora broke her heart, when she was just really jealous that Riku had Sora's undivided attention and she couldn't achieve that. I was known as "the fag's brother" and no one really wanted to hang out with me or my brother. Riku and Sora were happy with each other, but I didn't really have anyone. I mean, yeah, Naminé was totally supportive of my brother's relationship with Riku and she'd hang out with me, but she was one of the only ones. She was like my little sister though. I didn't love her or anything. It seemed impossible that I could love anyone.

Things at home were rough too. My parents didn't approve of Sora's relationship but instead of taking it out on their golden child, they'd take it out on me. Now, you'd think it would make me resent my brother even more, but oddly, it didn't. I just felt even more inferior, like I couldn't win my parents' approval but I couldn't get their disapproval either. Not like Sora. There was something wrong with me.

I started getting depressed. I would sit in my room and wonder what I could do to make my parents love me and I'd come up with that there was nothing I could do. There was just too much wrong with me. I wasn't perfect like Sora. I never would be. That would make me even more depressed and I'd get worse. I started thinking about how nice it would be if I just erased myself from the face of the earth.

Then one day, I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. I started running and didn't stop until I reached the clock tower. I found my salvation. When we were younger, it was a place we hung out when we were bored. We ate sea salt ice cream and talked up there. Now it would serve one last purpose.

To end my life.

Breathlessly, I ran up the stairs two at a time, anxious to do the fell deed. I didn't stop until I reached the top. I paused to catch my breath and then stepped forward. I went out the door and stood at the ledge. I didn't stare down. I didn't even think. I didn't have any last thoughts. I just jumped. I flew for a few seconds before I was falling. I didn't even think I would feel it when I crashed against the hard pavement and broke every bone in my body. I would be dead before I had time to register what was going on. Unfortunately, Fate decided to not cooperate with me that day. I forgot about the awning. They had put it up a couple days before as an experiment and it broke my fall. Instead of dying, I just broke a couple of bones.

I could tell I was still alive when I felt I was in pain. I knew that I wouldn't be able to feel pain if I was dead, therefore I must still be alive. My brain still worked but for some reason, I couldn't open my eyes. It wasn't that I was physically unable to. I was mentally unable to. I couldn't move. I was in excruciating pain and I could barely even breathe. My brain was able to register some voices. I recognized my brother's , frantically calling my name. I didn't answer. I couldn't. I heard a young girl. Olette. She was screaming for help. I wanted to cry out to them to not even bother, to leave me to die, but nothing worked anymore. My heart beat wildly out of control. When they started to move me to get me untangled from the awning, I felt a terrible pain, even worse than before. It made me want to scream in pain, though of course, I couldn't.

"Easy," a feminine voice said.

"He's really tangled up," a male voice said.

"Be careful with that arm. It's broken pretty badly."

"You got him?"

"Yeah. Now lift him up. One..two…three…up."

I was lifted off the ground and put on a soft surface. Something was placed over my nose and mouth, but not to smother me. Suddenly, I could breathe better. I was wheeled somewhere and lifted up, most likely into an ambulance.

"Please let me come. He's my brother," I heard my brother say.

"All right. Come on,'" the masculine voice replied gruffly.

The doors were slammed shut and the ambulance took off. A needle was stuck into my uninjured arm. After a while, I heard a woman talking to my brother, asking him questions about me. The ambulance came to a stop and I heard the doors open. I was brought out and wheeled into the hospital. I could hear the soft clicking of the wheels on the linoleum floor. I was brought into a bright room. I could see the light even though I had my eyes closed.

"This is Roxas Strife," the feminine voice announced. "Fifteen years old, tried to kill himself by jumping off the clock tower. The awning broke his fall but he was still injured. Looks like multiple arm and wrist fractures, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, and maybe a couple of broken ribs. Blood pressure and pulse are both steady. Oxygen level is slightly lower than it should be…"

I started slipping away. The darkness wanted me. It could have me. Sora got everything at birth. I got nothing. I'm okay with that. I don't want anything. I'm nobody important. I'm just nobody. Finally, I let the darkness take me captive. I could not think, see, or hear anything any longer. I was a prisoner to the darkness. Nothing could save me.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow that was rather depressing. Quite a change from the last chapter that had a lot of sarcasm from Axel. I don't really know where that came from. It was just totally random but I think it adds a nice touch. It's how I view him, really. I think he has a lot of sarcasm. Axel is my favorite character from Kingdom Hearts II. Roxas too. I grew really attached to Roxas. Heh, sorry I'm rambling. I'll be quiet right now. Remember: reviews help me to update faster!!

7/9/08-I did a lot of revisions in this chapter. Of course I fixed all the typos but I also extended the last scene where Roxas is falling to the darkness to make it a lot more descriptive. I wasn't happy about how short this chapter turned out so this is much better in my opinion.

4/23/09-Again, more typos have been found and corrected, though there aren't as many. And the damn spacing is right now. XD


	4. Chapter 4 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II. These, I'm merely borrowing. Any unrecognizable characters belong to me and aren't to be used without my permission.

Character Ages:

Sora/Roxas: 15

Riku: 16

Kairi/Naminé: 15

Hayner, Pence, and Olette: 15

Axel/Zexion: 17

Cloud/Leon: 28

Marluxia: 29

Chapter 4 Axel

I started physical therapy today.

It was hellish. Becky came in at eight to feed me and get me ready for physical therapy. Instead of the usual hospital gown, I got to wear a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. It hurt a lot when Becky got me dressed. Kinda pathetic, huh? I'm seventeen years old and I can't even get myself dressed, let alone feed myself.

After Becky apologized for the gazillionth time, she sent for a wheelchair and helped me to the edge of the bed. The wheelchair was brought in and Becky apologized a million times more as she moved me from the bed and into the wheelchair. I swore under my breath as she moved my tender legs so she could put up the footrests. As the two of us left the room, I glanced over at Roxas. Sleeping peacefully. Come to think of it, I haven't seen his parents yet. The only one who visited him is Sora. I wonder if the poor kid got saddled with parents who don't care. That's depressing.

I looked around curiously at the hospital as Becky took me. Hey, I had only seen bits and pieces of the hospital since I was brought here. I had a right to be at least a little curious. We got in a huge elevator and went down from the fifth floor (yeah, pretty high up, I know) to the second floor. We went through a whole maze of hallways and finally stopped outside a door. Above it, there was a plaque bearing the names of all the doctors practicing there. Becky opened the door and wheeled me in. She left me for a moment to talk to the receptionist. I took a chance to look around. It looked like a standard waiting room with the usual hard-looking chairs, tables with piles of outdated magazines, and TV's hanging suspended from the ceiling with all sorts of boring news channels on. Yup, just your normal waiting room.

Becky finished talking to the receptionist and came and sat next to me. We waited for a while before a nurse came and called my name. Becky stood up and wheeled me over to the door.

"I'll see you in an hour. Behave yourself," she said.

"Always." I grinned up at her. Becky rolled her eyes and walked away.

The new nurse grabbed the wheelchair handles and pushed me into the back. She introduced herself as Rose and chattered on about the facility they had there. I did my best to listen to what she was saying. She put me in a small room and was about to leave me.

"Wait!" I protested. Rose turned around. "You haven't told me anything about my physical therapist."

Rose smiled. "You'll meet him soon enough."

"What's his name at least?"

Rose smiled even more. "Marluxia." She left.

Marluxia, huh? What an oddball name. What are the chances of him being an oddball?  
…

Very good as I found out seven seconds later as Marluxia came in. He was in his mid-to-late-twenties dressed in a pair of navy sweatpants and a tie-dyed Yale T-shirt that clashed terribly with the pants. But that wasn't the weirdest thing about him. No, that would have to be his hair. It was pink. I'm not talking about cotton candy or Pepto Bismal pink but a soft rosy pink. It hung down to his shoulders. He caught me staring at him, or to be more precise, his hair, and raised his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked. "This is my natural hair color."

"I didn't say anything," I protested.

"Yeah, but you were staring."

"And?" I demanded, sensing that he wasn't done.

"Is that really your natural hair color?"

"Uh, yeah."

Marluxia looked at me skeptically. He didn't believe me!

"Look, there are ways for me to prove that this is my natural hair color…but I don't really think you want to look there."

"No." There was an awkward silence. "So…Axel, right?"

"Yes."

"Seventeen?"

"Yes."

"Severely burned your arms and your legs…in a fire…you started yourself…on purpose?"

"That's right."

Marluxia grumbled something under his breath.

"Moving on…" he said. "Can you feel your legs at all?"

"Only when I try to move them…or if someone tries to move them for me. They hurt like a bitch."

"What about your arms?"

"It's the same."

"Can you move either your arms or legs independently at all?"

"Not my legs. I can lift my arms up and hold them there for a little while before they start hurting. But that's about it."

Marluxia made notes. "Okay. Have you tried to move any of your fingers yet?"

"Uh, not yet."

"We'll start with your fingers then. Do you mind if I remove the ace bandages?"

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"Okay then."

Marluxia carefully unwrapped my arms, not even flinching when he saw all the scars.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you too much," he said.

"Okay."

Marluxia gently curled my fingers into a fist and then uncurled them. He did this several times until he was satisfied. Then, he did the same thing with my other hand.

"I forgot to ask you: are you left-handed or right-handed?"

"Left, believe it or not," I answered.

Marluxia grumbled something else under his breath and switched around.

"Okay, I want you to clench your fingers into a fist and unclench them a couple times without me helping you. Do you think you can do that?" he said a few minutes later.

"Yes," I responded, grimacing at being treated like a stupid person. I did what he wanted me to do several times with both my left and right hands. I had to do this over and over again. Just when I was starting to tire of this, he made me stop.

"Good. Very good," he said with a smile. "Now let's try your wrists."

He moved my wrists around and then made me do it. Then we moved onto my arms. My arms hurt the most. I couldn't wait to get out of there. It was so goddamned boring and so painful. Finally, my hour was over. Marluxia rewrapped the ace bandages and made sure they were secure.

"I will see you again on Wednesday," he said, making several notes on his clipboard. Then, he left. Rose came in and took me back to the front where Becky was waiting.

"So how was it?" she asked as she wheeled me out of there.

"Terrible," I answered with a grimace.

"Oh come on. It couldn't have been that bad."

"My arms hurt like hell now."

"You'll get used to it."

"Right."

When we got back to the room, there were two strange men visiting Roxas. One had long brown hair and a scar across his face. The other had spiky blond hair and piercing blue eyes. They were about the same age as Marluxia. I looked up at Becky inquisitively. She made a gesture that said that she'd tell me in a minute. Both men looked over as Becky wheeled me over to my bed and got me back where I belonged. She drew the curtain around the bed before speaking in a low voice, "those are Roxas's godparents."

"But they're both men," I protested.

"I know." I stared at Becky for a few moments before I caught on.

"OH!" It finally clicked. The two of them were a couple. Duh. Wake up and get your head out of the clouds, Axel. Stupid stupid stupid me.

"What about his parents?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice soft.

"Dunno. Haven't seen them yet."

"Huh." I fell silent, trying to digest these bits of information.

Becky made sure that I was comfortable and left. She returned a couple minutes later.

"You have a visitor. Shall I send him in?" she said.

"Yeah," I answered. Becky went and got my visitor. Turned out to be Zexion. My best friend took a seat as Becky left again.

"Who were the two visiting that kid Roxas?" he asked right off the bat.

"His godparents," I answered.

Zexion looked surprised. "You mean they're together?"

"Yes Zexion. According to Becky, that is."

Zexion snuck a glance at them.

"They don't look gay." He frowned, crossing his arms as he usually did when he was frustrated.

"You don't either," I countered. Zexion glared at me.

"What about his parents?" he asked.

"Haven't shown their faces yet."

"Do you think they don't care?"

"I'm not sure."

"Do you think this is why the kid tried to kill himself?"

"What do you mean?" It was my turn to frown.

"Think about it Axel. If your parents didn't care about you at all, wouldn't you feel like there was nothing to live for and try to kill yourself?"

"I guess."

"I think it makes sense."

"Whatever Zex."

The next several days passed without any incident. Nothing happened. It was quite boring. Even physical therapy was quite boring. We just did the same things over and over again. He started me on lifting weights, but it was still very repetitive. However, what I didn't know was that Marluxia was setting me up so that I could start doing tasks on my own. Such as eating. Soon I was able to start feeding myself, though I was rather clumsy. That went away with time. I also started meeting with some psychologists and had another evaluation done. There was talk about moving me into the Psych Ward soon to "help me heal". Whatever.

After Marluxia was satisfied with my arm movement, we moved onto my legs. That was an adventure in itself. First there were problems because my legs weren't fully healed yet and then there were a million other things wrong that I won't even go into. Finally, though, I started physical therapy for my legs. God did it ever hurt! The nice thing about it, though, was that I could wear regular clothes. Now that I could dress myself again, I could start wearing normal clothes instead of the shitty hospital gowns. Not like Roxas.

Not much to say about my roommate except that he lies there. More and more people visit him now. At first they weren't sure if they wanted all these people coming in because it might upset me, but hey, it's fine with me. Now he gets all sorts of visitors. Makes you wonder why he tried to kill himself in the first place—he's got so many people who obviously loved and cared about him.

Like I said before, nothing really happened.

Until one night.

It was really late. I woke up to the sound of someone moaning and crying. It took me a few moments to realize that it was Roxas. I was torn between getting my ass out of bed and dragging myself out of bed to his side to see what was wrong or calling my nurse. When the moaning got worse, I chose Option A. I sat up, drew the curtain back, and got out of bed. Now, I was unable to walk, but I could drag myself across the room, which is what I did. I literally dragged myself across the room. Don't ask me why. Hurt like hell though. When I finally got there and pushed his curtain open, I was surprised to see him staring up at me. My breath caught in my throat when I saw those eyes. They were just so blue. They were framed by thick eyelashes that made him look almost girly. Almost. He was so pretty. And I was so in love with him.

To be continued…

A/N: Heh, I don't think there's such a word as 'gazillionth' so I guess I just made up a word. I have no idea if Axel is right-handed or left-handed. I find him to be an oddball so I made him left-handed. I've been listening to "Dream On" by Aerosmith so much lately. It makes me think of Axel. I don't even know why. I'm just reminded of him. Another good song is "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. I was listening to it over the weekend for, like the millionth time, and I realized that the lyrics fit his final scene perfectly. If you've played the game you'll understand. If not, then play it! It's a good game! And I won't spoil it for those who haven't played it yet. If you haven't heard either of these songs and want to, I can send out a copy. Heh, I'll stop rambling now and work on the next chapter. I've got some really good ideas for it.

4/23/09-Typos corrected.


	5. Chapter 5 Roxas Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. Any unrecognizable characters are mine and aren't to be used without my permission.

Chapter 5 Roxas

What the hell?

Those were my first thoughts as I returned from the darkness. I had no idea of how long the darkness had me captive. Blinking heavily, I tried to clear my vision and get a sense of where I was. Not very easy. Slowly, I started to see all sorts of dark shapes and other miscellaneous shadows. It wasn't good enough. I reached up and found my arm in a sling. I used the other arm to rub my eyes so I could see better. Just then, I felt a shooting pain in my arm and a groan left my lips. I was starting to feel the pain that had eluded me when I had first jumped. The moans grew louder. It felt like my arm was on fire.

All of a sudden, the curtain surrounding my bed was pushed back and I stared at an astonished-looking face. The face of a boy a couple years older than me. He had vivid green eyes and fiery red hair that was simply out of control. Two teardrop tattoos were under his eyes and my first thoughts were that he was a biker of some sort. His pale bare arms were folded on the edge of my bed, revealing a network of pink scars running in every direction. His arms were what were supporting him because his legs lay uselessly behind him. He was dressed in a black tank top and a pair of black sweatpants that hung loosely off his body.

He stared at me in astonishment. That's the only word to describe it. He was absolutely still and for a moment, I wondered if he was even breathing. He almost looked like a statue except that every so often, he'd blink. I tried to say something, to break the spell this guy had me under, but nothing came out except for a small squeak. As soon as I realized what I'd done, I felt my face grow hot. The boy blinked for a few moments before bursting into a loud peal of laughter.

"What's so funny?" I managed to get out.

"That was…the cutest thing I have ever heard," the boy said between chuckles. I felt my face grow even hotter. The boy leaned in. "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?"

Axel? Oh that had to be his name.

"I…I'm Roxas," I stammered.

The boy grinned. "I know."

"Now what is going on here?" a new voice demanded. Axel turned. There was a very crabby-looking nurse standing there, her hands on her hips.

Axel smiled. "Sorry Sara, but Roxie here was groaning and I dragged my ass out of bed to see if he was okay."

Roxie? What the hell?!

"What?" Sara asked, confused.

"Lookie Sara. He's awake." Axel pointed at me. Sara looked at me and her sharp grey eyes widened.

"My god," she whispered. She hurried from the room, crying, "Dr. Lexaeus! Dr. Lexaeus!"

Axel grinned at me. "She's so fun to torment." I said nothing. "How's your arm? It's the reason why you were groaning wasn't it? Must hurt like a bitch."

"Yes," I whispered. "To all the above."

"I wouldn't know, seeing as I've never broken any bones but I can imagine…"

"Axel," I interrupted. "Do you know how long I've been here?"

"Jesus kid, I don't know for sure. I've lost track of time. A couple of weeks at least."

"That long?"

"Hey, I've been in here a lot longer than that. Let's just say that I was here for six weeks before you even got here."

I stared at him, surprised. Just what the hell had he done to himself? Of course, I was polite so I didn't ask, but I could still be curious, right? Dr. Lexaeus came in and I did a double take. I couldn't help it. He was a big man. Muscular, I mean. Scary-looking. He had red hair a couple shades darker than Axel's and piercing eyes.

"Well hello Roxas. I'm glad to see you awake," he said with a smile.

Okay, maybe he's not as scary as he looks. I didn't say anything.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dr. Lexaeus asked, looking concerned.

"Yes," I managed to say.

"Does your arm hurt?"

I nodded. Dr. Lexaeus walked over. He examined my arm. I winced when he gently prodded it.

"Would you like some pain medication?" I nodded again.

"What's the matter Roxie?" Axel asked. "Cat got your tongue?"

I frowned. That wasn't a very nice thing for him to say.

"Axel, that wasn't a nice thing for you to say to him," Dr. Lexaeus chided him.

My thoughts exactly.

"Hey I was kidding. Lighten up doc. You too Roxie."

"Sara, help Axel back to bed," Dr. Lexaeus ordered.

"Yes doctor," Sara responded. She turned to Axel. "Come on Axel."

Axel shook his head. "I'm not ready to go to sleep yet."

Sara sighed softly. "I am NOT in the mood for you acting like a petulant child."

She reached out and grabbed Axel's right arm. REALLY bad idea! Something inside Axel suddenly snapped when Sara grabbed him like that. He went…ballistic. That's the only way I can describe what happened with him. He started yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs and trying to wrench himself free of Sara's grasp. Sara didn't seem too surprised to see this, though. She just tried to get Axel back to his side of the room. I stared in shocked silence. I had no idea Axel had this mean streak in him. It was like he was a completely different person, not the happy, smiling person I had met when I woke up.

_Axel, what is your deal?_ I silently wondered.

To be continued…

A/N: Damn it, it was really short. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm having trouble writing from Roxas's point of view for some reason. This is quite an unexpected turn. Though to be honest, I have NO idea of where this is going…more or less. Okay, I have SOME idea, but not really a whole lot. I have the first part of the next chapter written out. I have a lot of the next chapter written out. It just came to me last night and I started writing it down. And I haven't been able to stop. I think this is the fastest I have EVER updated a fanfiction. No joke. Remember: reviews help me to update faster.

4/23/09- Spacing and typos have been fixed.


	6. Chapter 6 Cloud Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I do own the unrecognizable characters and they're not to be used without my permission.

A/N: Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. This chapter is indeed in Cloud's POV. Sorry if Cloud is OOC. I suck majorly at characterization.

Chapter 6 Cloud

Roxas woke up last night.

The call came at nearly midnight. Leon grumbled the entire time he went to pick up the phone. I sat up and simply listened.

"Hello?" Leon asked sleepily. His expression sharpened. "What? You're sure? When did he wake up?"

Huh. Must be talking about Roxas. There's no one else I could think of who'd fit the current situation.

I wasn't surprised when Roxas attempted suicide. It was his only choice to escape the hellish life he was living. Not that I'm glad he did it. I just understand why. His parents barely acknowledge his existence and when they do, they pick on him and bully him. They aren't very nice people. I can state that with certainty. They don't even care that Roxas tried to kill himself and is now in the hospital in a coma…well not anymore. But I care. Technically, he and Sora are Leon's god kids, but I've been with Leon since high school (you do the math) so I think of them as my own. I just don't show it all the time.

Leon hung up the phone and got up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"The hospital," Leon answered, switching on the light beside our bed. "Roxas is awake."

"Oh," I said.

"You're welcome to come, you know."

"Yes." I got up and pulled some clothes on. We hurried to Leon's car.

"Why the hurry?" I asked, sliding into the front.

"There's a…slight problem."

"Oh?" I prompted.

"Roxas isn't responding well. Talking I mean. Something…happened. He did talk a little at first, but then he sort of…clammed up."

"Sora?" I questioned.

"We're picking him up right now."

"Parents?"

"Don't know, probably don't care."

"Right."

The two of us fell silent as we drove to pick up Sora. He looked extremely worried as he climbed in the back. None of us said a word as we sped to the hospital. I'm amazed Leon didn't get pulled over for driving twenty over the speed limit. Not that we passed any cop cars or anything.

Once at the hospital, we rushed up to Roxas's room. We were greeted at the door by an anxious-looking nurse. I looked at Leon with my eyebrows raised. He returned my look of confusion. We walked in. The curtain was drawn around the bed of Roxas's roommate…Axel was his name. We could hear a scuffling noise coming behind it as well as raised voices.

"Damn it let go of me!" a voice I recognized as Axel's yelled.

"Don't you understand Axel? This is for your own good," the calm voice of Dr. Lexaeus explained.

"I…don't…want…to be drugged!"

"You have no choice."

"Let…GO!!"

There was a ripping sound as the curtain came down, Dr. Lexaeus along with it. He was holding a syringe full of a clear liquid with a needle stuck on the end. Dr. Lexaeus grunted as he hit the ground. For a man that big to have come down like that required a lot of strength on Axel's part. Then again, the saying goes, 'the bigger they are the harder they fall'. Dr. Lexaeus got to his feet, the syringe still in his hand. Axel pushed himself up with his arms, his face livid. I don't think I've ever seen so much anger in one person before. His gaze was intense.

"Don't…touch…me," he spat out.

"Axel stop." The voice made everyone stop and turn, including Axel. "Don't hurt him. He's just… trying to help." It was Roxas. Axel looked as surprised as Dr. Lexaeus to hear Roxas talk. The intense expression on his face melted away at once.

"Whatever Roxie," he said in a bored tone.

Dr. Lexaeus stepped forward and took Axel's arm. He jabbed the needle into his forearm and pumped drugs into Axel's system to sedate him (though why I'm not really sure—Axel had calmed down and didn't even put up a fight when Dr. Lexaeus jabbed him with the needle). Dr. Lexaeus took out the needle and waited. After a few moments, the drugs took effect and Axel blinked sleepily. His emerald eyes closed and his body fell still except for the slow rising and falling of his chest.

"Sara, get some restraints," Dr. Lexaeus ordered.

The nurse he was addressing, who had been standing mutely against the back wall this entire time watching nodded and left. Dr. Lexaeus, upon seeing the worried look on Roxas and Sora's faces, smiled.

"Don't worry," he said in a reassuring tone. "This is merely a precaution. We want to make sure Axel doesn't hurt himself any further and to make sure that he doesn't lose control again." Sora looked reassured, though Roxas did not. "So Roxas, do you want to explain why you decided to suddenly speak again? No?" Roxas remained silent, his blue eyes slightly blank. Leon stepped over to the bed and started speaking to him a low voice, Sora as well.

"You scared us half to death…"

I didn't hear the rest; I turned my attention to Axel. It gave me something to do. Sara came in with leather restraints that she fastened around Axel's wrists and ankles, then secured to the bed. She checked his vital signs and then frowned.

"Oxygen is low," she muttered to herself. She placed a plastic oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and made sure it was secure.

I turned away. Leon and Sora had ceased talking to Roxas. Roxas was still silent. I carefully studied him.

He looked a lot older. In four weeks, he had changed dramatically. His facial features were thinner, harder. His hair, of course, had grown longer. At least his face was clean shaven. The rest of his body was extremely thin. His hospital gown hung loosely off his body. Poor Roxas.

I've known him since he was a baby. Leon became his godfather a year before I even met him. It's kind of weird. Roxas and Sora's parents were sixteen when they had them. Leon, who was a couple years younger than them was made godfather when he was thirteen. I met him freshman year of high school. As the years went by, I sort of became their godfather too. Now I'm just a part of the family. Over the years, I watched Roxas grow more and more unhappy. His parents treated him badly and pretty much everyone else did too because of Sora and Riku. He didn't seem to care outwardly, but inwardly, I knew it hurt him. I could only watch as he slowly broke.

"Dr. Lexaeus?" Sara's voice broke through my thoughts. "It's about Axel."

Dr. Lexaeus turned. "What about him?"

"His oxygen level and blood pressure have dropped dramatically in the past couple of minutes."

"What?!"

I turned and watched as Dr. Lexaeus hurried to Axel's side. Even from where I stood across the room, I could see Axel's breath clouding the inside of the oxygen mask. Suddenly, Axel's body started jerking uncontrollably.

"Shit! He's seizing!" Dr. Lexaeus cried.

He told Sara something I didn't understand and she hurried from the room. She returned with a syringe. She handed it to Dr. Lexaeus who injected it into Axel's forearm, the same place he had injected the sedative before. After a few minutes, Axel calmed down. His body stopped jerking and he laid absolutely still.

"Get him started on an IV and order blood work to be done. Get an EEG and an MRI done as soon as possible. We need to find out what caused his seizure, if it was just an allergic reaction to the medicine, or something much worse."

"Yes doctor." Sara nodded and left.

Dr. Lexaeus walked back over to Roxas's bed.

"Let's get you some pain medication, huh?" he asked. Roxas silently nodded. His blue eyes were wide with fear. "Now this medication might make you sleepy." Roxas nodded again. A different nurse, Roxas's nurse came in and administered the drug in Roxas's IV bag.

"Let's let Roxas get some sleep now," Leon said softly. Sora nodded and allowed Leon to lead him out. I started to follow but Roxas stopped me.

"Cloud…please don't leave yet," he whispered. The surprises never seem to cease.

"Okay," I replied.

I walked back to Roxas's bed. He held out his hand. Hesitatingly, I took it. I wasn't good at this sort of thing. This was Leon's area of expertise. Roxas didn't seem to mind. He watched me with his big blue eyes. Suddenly, I felt angry. Angry at Roxas's parents for putting him in this position. And angry at myself for failing to act to prevent this from happening.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

For what? Roxas's eyes asked.

"For not intervening. I could have stopped your unhappiness so you wouldn't have to resort to this."

It's not your fault. It's mine. I read in Roxas's eyes.

"Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault your parents don't love you. There is nothing wrong with you. They should love and protect you…"

It was getting hard for me to talk. Caring never hurt this much before.

To be continued…

A/N: Ah, I was so excited about finally getting the last chapter up that I forgot my notes on Lexaeus. He's a lot different than in the series. I think. I don't really know because he's only in COM and I've never played that. He's definitely scary-looking. I think he's sort of rough but for this, he's not as mean as he looks. Okay, I just totally broke my record for fast updating. Probably because I had most of the chapter written up already. I just knew exactly what was going to happen. I have a bit of the next chapter already written out so hopefully the next update will come very soon. Remember: reviews help me to update faster and you know it.

4/23/09-Typos and spacing issues have been corrected.


	7. Chapter 7 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I do own the original characters who aren't to be used without my permission.

Chapter 7 Axel

Damn, my head really hurts. What the hell happened to me? I don't really remember. Slowly, my eyes opened. I was in the hospital. Yeah, that was pretty much a given. I tried to move my arms but couldn't. Further examination of my surroundings explained why I couldn't move; I was restrained. Oh. I must have had one of my episodes.

See, whenever someone grabs me by the arm, I start having a fit where I lose my temper and get very angry. I haven't been able to figure out why. I think it has something to do with my childhood because I can't remember a lot of it. I think something traumatic happened to me and I blocked it from my memories so I wouldn't have to remember. And now it's coming back to bite me in the butt. Yeah, I took psychology in high school. It's called repression.

Basically, I'm really fucked up and I have no idea of why.

Back to my little problem. The only thing I could do was lay there and wait for someone to come in and tell me what was going on. While I was waiting, I looked around some more.

I had an IV in my arm and the machines behind my bed were turned on. I was dressed in a hospital gown again. Nope, not a good sign. My heart beat faster. My breathing quickened and my chest started to tighten. Did I mention that I have asthma due to my inhalation of smoke over the years since I played with fire? No? Well now you know. The machine behind me started going berserk which brought Becky running.

"Axel, are you okay?" she asked.

"Can't…breathe…" I managed to get out.

Becky rushed forward and hastily placed an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.

"Breathe deeply Axel," she murmured, holding the oxygen mask in place." Breathe deeply and relax."

I breathed and got oxygen into my system. After a few moments, Becky was able to take the mask off.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes. Thank you." I nodded. "Becky, what the hell happened?" My breathing quickened again.

"Easy Axel. Don't get yourself worked up," Becky said soothingly. I calmed myself down. "You had one of your fits last night."

"Oh." I frowned.

"You also had a seizure."

"A seizure?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"We don't know. We're going to find out though. Dr. Lexaeus has ordered several tests to be done. First, blood work."

I groaned softly. I hated needles so much. Becky brought in a tray with a bunch of stuff on it.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Just get it over with," I said through gritted teeth.

I closed my eyes as the needle slid into my arm. I didn't open them until after Becky had withdrawn the needle and patched up the hole.

"I'll be right back," she said.

"Hey Becky." I stopped my nurse at the door. "Are you going to untie me?"

"That depends. Are you going to promise to behave yourself?" Becky was stern.

I flashed her a huge smile. "Of course I am going to behave."

"All right. I'll untie you when I get back." Becky hurriedly left.

"Becky!" I protested. "You're sooo mean!!"

I groaned softly and turned my head to the side. "Roxas! Hey Roxas!" Roxas turned his head and looked at me questioningly. I heard Becky's soft footsteps and knew I didn't have much time. "Roxas, look. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I probably scared the hell out of you last night. I don't…normally act like that. Sometimes I just…lose control. Something happened to me when I was a kid though I'm not sure what. I don't know why but I have these episodes where I can't control my emotions and lash out at people. So don't feel like it's anything you did, all right Roxie?" I swear I saw Roxas nod slightly.

Becky came back in.

"Good news Axel," she said with a smile. "The doctor said it's okay if I take off your restraints."

I breathed a soft sigh of relief. Becky stepped forward and took off the restraints around my ankles first. She hesitated to make sure I wasn't going to go berserk on her and then took off the restraints around my wrists. It felt really good to be free of them.

"Okay now let's get that IV out of you," Becky declared.

I winced as she gently pulled the needle out and wrapped my arm in gauze. Great, now both my arms are bandaged. Just wonderful. Becky dressed me in my regular sweats and a T-shirt and ordered a wheelchair to be brought in. I sat up. I knew the drill. We worked well as a team now. It took less time than usual to get me from the bed to the wheelchair. I could feel Roxas watching me as Becky wheeled me out.

Our first stop was for the EEG. It measured my brain waves while I reacted to all sorts of stimuli, like a strobe light for example. Then it was time for the MRI. They gave me earplugs (the machine was noisy), made me lie down, and put me in a narrow tunnel-like thing while the machine did its thing. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic. After I had been pulled back out, Becky helped me back into my wheelchair and brought me back up to my room just in time for visiting hours. Man does she have good timing or what? My parents made their weekly visit, followed by Zexion. Talk about a loyal best friend. He has come every single stupid day since I was hospitalized.

"I heard about what happened," he said slowly. "Do you want to go somewhere more private to talk?" I nodded.

Zexion got up and left for a few moments. After clearing it with Becky, Zexion (all by himself!) got me into a wheelchair and took me out into a deserted courtyard. "There, that's much better."

"Yeah," I agreed.

It was so nice to be outside for the first time in months. Zexion sat across from me on a bench.

"So you had another one of your episodes?" he asked, his expression unreadable through his long dark silver bangs.

"Yes," I replied.

"What was the cause?"

"Sara, my night nurse, she seized my arm and tried to drag me away from Roxas's bed."

"Okay. And…" Zexion prompted.

"And…" I let out a soft sigh. "I lost control. You know how it goes. You've seen me before."

Zexion nodded. He had been present for one of my episodes a while back. "Was it bad?

"Bad?" I demanded. "Bad he says?! It was catastrophic. I had to be sedated and restrained."

"I heard about that."

"How?"

"From your parents."

"Oh really?" I raised my eyebrows. "I was under the impression that my parents don't like you."

"They don't, but they felt obligated to tell me what was going on."

"I see."

"I also heard about the…other thing." Zexion looked at me, concern reflecting in his blue violet eyes.

"You mean my seizure?"

"Yes. It was most irregular. You have not been prone to seizures before, have you?"

"Nope. Just asthma."

Zexion shook his head in annoyance.

"Does the doctor know what caused the seizure yet?" he asked.

"No. They just did the tests today. It's going to take a while before they find out what caused it." I shook my head.

"We'll hope for the best then," Zexion murmured more to himself.

We talked for a while longer about non-related things, mostly about school. Then Zexion brought me back inside. I was very reluctant to go back. I liked spending time outdoors. Asthma or not, it was refreshing.

When we returned, we found Sora talking to Roxas. There was a silver-haired guy with him with the most stunning aquamarine eyes I had ever seen. Roxas's eyes were prettier, but his eyes were still very nice. From what I understood, he was Sora's boyfriend. Zexion ignored them and helped me back into bed.

"Thanks Zex," I said, making myself more comfortable. "Hopefully I'll be able to get around on my own soon so I won't have to depend on others so much. And…" my voice softened. "Thanks for taking me outside. It felt really good to get out of this damn hospital, even though it was only for a little while."

Zexion almost smiled. "You're welcome Axel."

To be continued…

A/N: Thanks to the handful of you who actually took the time to leave a review. It means a lot to me. I've found this incredible music video on YouTube that someone made. It's really well done and so beautiful. The link is: /watch?v=hBlxGPUhCoo . Copy and paste it into your browser and it should bring up the video. It centers on Organization XIII and especially Roxas not fitting in. It's SO good. I highly recommend checking it out because it's simply amazing.

I'm also announcing two new Kingdom Hearts projects. Both are AxelxRoxas fics with ZexionxDemyx on the side. The first is called To Save a Life and the second, which will be a sequel to the first, is called To Create a Life. The first will be a oneshot and the second will have multiple chapters. Check out my profile for more info, the summaries, genres, and ratings are under my Projects Coming Soon section. The information about the EEG and the MRI are 100% accurate. Why? Because I've had both of them done before.

I don't know the color of Zexion's eyes. They're so damn hard to see! So I apologize if I'm wrong. Never forget: reviews help me to update faster.


	8. Chapter 8 Zexion Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them.

A/N: I'm soo sorry for abandoning this for a while. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to have happen next or even who's POV I wanted to write from. I ended up writing another AkuRoku fic called To Save a Life. Then, I finished my Beyblade fic, Fall Away. And started another fanfiction called Identity, yet another AkuRoku fic. There's also Zemyx. So that's what I've been doing lately. I apologize. Be warned that this chapter is from Zexion's POV and this is my first time writing from his POV.

Chapter 8 Zexion

I had to learn how to tolerate hospitals when my best friend Axel was admitted. I have always had a thing against hospitals, ever since I was a little kid. Probably because I had a bad experience when I was a kid. My parents were killed in a car accident when I was ten. It was traumatic and ever since then, I've been in and out of them for various reasons. I had finished my last stint at the hospital several years back and hadn't been back since. Until Axel was admitted.

I remember that day quite well. I went over to Axel's house to help him study for an upcoming math test since math wasn't exactly his strongest subject. When I walked through the front door, I smelled two things simultaneously; smoke and burning flesh. It made me feel scared and nauseous. Against my better judgment, I grabbed a towel from the kitchen to cover my nose and mouth and went upstairs. The hall was covered with thick black smoke and it seemed to be coming from Axel's room. The smoke detectors on the upper floor were all going crazy.

_Oh god, Axel, not again._ I thought, thinking that he set his curtains on fire or something. I pushed open the door and stopped short.

The room was on fire and Axel was standing there in the middle of the fire, just…standing there. I dropped the towel.

"Oh my god Axel!" I exclaimed.

Axel turned and looked at me, his green eyes glittering. He had a strange expression on his face. Almost like…satisfaction. I rushed forward into the fire and grabbed him by the wrist. He didn't protest as I pulled him from the room. Coughing, I dragged Axel down the stairs and into the living room. I made him lie down on the couch while I went into the kitchen to call 9-1-1. When I returned, Axel was screaming in pain. I did my best to comfort him.

I rode with Axel to the hospital. After all those years of avoiding it like the plague, I was going back. Thankfully, this time, I wasn't the one who had to go, though I wish Axel didn't have to. They made me wait in a small empty waiting room all alone. Not that I really minded. I had other things to do, though. I had to call Axel's parents. Even though they hated me. They thought I was a bad influence on him, that I was to blame for him being gay. Just because I was gay. Yeah, Axel's parents are homophobes. At least he has parents.

After I finished making my phone calls, the only thing I could do was go back to the stupid little room and wait. Memories started resurfacing--my parents' terrified screaming, shattering glass, twisted metal. I closed my eyes and hid my face in my hands, willing the memories away. I wasn't going to have a panic attack, damn it. I couldn't. When Axel's mom arrived, I had to pull myself together. Axel's mom's eyes narrowed when she saw me.

"You can go home now," she told me. "There is no need for you to be here."

I wasn't going to be dismissed that easily. "I'm not going anywhere. Axel is my friend." I crossed my arms and stared her down.

Finally, she gave in and left to do…something. I didn't ask. I stared blankly at the far wall. She didn't come back in until much later.

They didn't give us an update for hours. Finally, a doctor came out. He had reddish brown hair and was incredibly muscular. I felt extremely small compared to him. However, he smiled.

"I'm Dr. Lexaeus," he introduced himself.

"I'm his mother. How is he?" Axel's mom said curtly.

"He'll live," Dr. Lexaeus answered. He turned to me. "And…who are you?" he sounded curious, nothing more.

"I'm Zexion," I replied. "I'm Axel's best friend. I was…the one who discovered him."

"I see. Have either of you noticed any…self-destructive behavior in Axel before this incident?"

"Yes," Axel's mom said bluntly. "We've taken him to several therapists before this, but nothing's helped. He's burned himself before."

"I see. I'm going to do a full psychological evaluation and I recommend that he be admitted to the Psych Ward as soon as possible."

Axel's mom nodded. She excused herself to make some phone calls, leaving me alone with Dr. Lexaeus.

"Would you like to go and see him?" he asked softly.

"That'd be okay?" I asked.

Dr. Lexaeus nodded. "I can sense that he's very close to you."

I shifted uncomfortably. "He's the only friend I have."

"Yes, well…come with me."

I followed the doctor down the halls and up to the fifth floor. In a room near the end of the hall was Axel. The doctor left the two of us alone. Axel was unconscious, though I wasn't sure of how he got this way. His red hair was a mess, as usual. He was deathly pale, even paler than me, which is saying something. There was an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and his breath clouded the inside of it. His arms were heavily bandaged and there were machines of all sorts running. I tried not to flinch as I walked closer.

"Please don't leave me Axel," I said in a soft voice. "You're the only friend I have in this world." I felt a tear slide down my face. It was the first time I cried since my parents died.

--

After Axel was admitted and after he woke up, I visited him every day. I got into the habit of coming every day after school to see him. It was hard at first but I eventually got over my fear and started to feel comfortable in the hospital. I think it was Axel. He always made me feel comfortable. It had always been like that. His parents only visited him once a week. Depressing, I know. He didn't seem to care. He said that they always made him feel like a child.

Slowly, Axel began to recover. He couldn't feed himself or dress himself, but he was doing a hell of a lot better when he was first admitted. Things settled down and Axel got really bored.

Until he got a roommate.

They kept Axel away from a lot of people because he has this thing where he gets upset around a ton of people. It's strange because you'd think of Axel as a people person, especially after you've known him for a long time like me. He also gets upset if you drag him by the arm. No one has found a cause for it though when he's admitted to the Psych Ward, I'm sure they'll be able to figure it out.

Anyway, when this kid came in after trying to jump off the clock tower, they decided to put him in with Axel mainly because Axel was also a suicide case and they thought that they'd get along well.

But Roxas was in a coma.

No joke. He just lay there day after day. No matter what anyone tried, no matter how much his friends and family talked to him, he just remained in a coma. He had a lot of friends and people who loved him so it seemed weird that he'd try to kill himself. But according to Axel, his parents didn't care about him. It makes sense that he'd try to kill himself. Axel knows a lot about him. He seems to care a lot about Roxas.

I think he loves Roxas.

It's weird because he doesn't even know him, but I can tell by the way he looks at the kid. But I'm not jealous. I'm totally over Axel.

Really.

Axel was my first love. The reason I knew I was gay. I was never attracted to girls, but I wasn't attracted to guys either. Until I met Axel. He had been going out with a girl named Larxene. Bitch. She was mean and abusive. I was glad when they broke up, but not just because I was in love with Axel. I didn't like to see him being abused. It hurt me. I don't know why.

Anyway, we started going out because Axel realized that he was attracted to me. He figured out that he was bi because of me. And then I found out that Axel's parents were homophobes. Heh, yeah, that relationship didn't work out, but we remained friends. And I grew out of my crush out of him. Now we're best friends.

…what was I talking about?

Oh yeah. Roxas.

The kid finally woke up. He doesn't really talk, though Axel can get him to open up a bit. Oh yeah, and Axel had another one of his fits. A really bad one, followed by a seizure.

I went to see him the day after it occurred. Surprisingly, his parents were the ones who told me what happened. I guess they felt like they were obligated to let me know or something. I'm not sure.

He looked pretty decent when I walked into his room. His parents made their weekly visit and then it was my turn He was sitting up, as he had been these past few weeks. His arms were lightly bandaged and he was dressed in sweat clothes. He was smiling pleasantly when he saw me walk into the room.

"Hi Zex," he greeted me warmly.

"I heard about what happened," I began. "Do you want to go somewhere more private to talk?"

He nodded. I cleared it with his day nurse, Becky and got him into a wheelchair. Thank god he was unnaturally light; I'm not exactly the biggest person around. We went into the courtyard to talk. After we had finished, I brought him back up to his room. He was very reluctant. I couldn't blame him; I'd want out after being cooped up in a hospital for a month.

When we got back, a boy whom I understood to be Roxas's twin brother Sora was there talking to him. Along with him was a silver-haired boy with bright aquamarine eyes. He watched me warily as I wheeled Axel over to the bed and helped him to lie down.

"Thanks Zex," Axel said, shifting himself. "Hopefully I'll be able to get around on my own soon so I won't have to depend on others so much. And…" his voice softened. "Thanks for taking me outside. It felt really good to get out of this damn hospital, even though it was only for a little while."

The corners of my lips lifted for a small smile. "You're welcome Axel."

To be continued…

A/N: Again, I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter posted. This is sort of a filler chapter. I realize that the link to the music video doesn't work so I posted it in my profile. Reviews help me update faster! I swear!


	9. Chapter 9 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. I do own any unrecognizable characters not associated with any sort of game, movie, anime, book , TV show, ect.

Chapter 9 Axel

Well, my test results came back clean. The good news is that I don't have any sort of brain tumor or brain damage or anything. That's the good news. The bad news is that they still don't know what the hell is wrong with me—why I had the seizure in the first place. He's run more diagnostics but hasn't found anything yet. Which sucks. But besides that, things have been going relatively smoothly. Physical therapy was going well. It hurt like hell, but Marluxia said that I was making great progress. He even hinted that I might be able to start walking soon, something I both looked forward to and dreaded.

Yes that's pretty much a contradiction. Let me explain. It's good that I'll be able to start walking soon. Now I don't have to depend on other people as much. Such as Zexion. But the bad thing about walking is that once I'm able to get around on my own, they're going to move me up to the Psych Ward. Meaning I have to say goodbye to Roxas. And I don't want to. The kid has really grown on me. We haven't had much interaction, but I still feel really close to him. I can't explain it.

One day, I decided (and this was a totally random decision) to go over and talk to him. Just talk. Make the most out of my time around him so I could treasure it when we were apart. Boy that sounded lame. Oh well. I don't care. It was before visiting hours had begun so I know we wouldn't be interrupted for a while. I got out of bed and dragged myself across the room. I hung off the edge of his bed like I did before. I hadn't been this close to him since he had woken up. His blue eyes were incredibly intense. The color I mean. The color was incredibly intense. I smiled.

"Hi Roxas," I said.

"Ax…el," Roxas whispered. I stared at him surprised. "That's your name, right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You remembered."

"Of course." Roxas shrugged slightly. "How could I forget an odd name like Axel?"

The words were harsh, but I could detect a bit of playfulness underneath it. Was he…flirting with me? Holy crap!! I could have been taking this the wrong way but it really seemed like he was. Normally, I'm not cautious, but I didn't want to lose Roxas so I played it safe. We sort of flirted for a long time.

"Why?" I murmured, shaking my head.

"Why what?" Roxas asked curiously.

Why am I so attracted to you? I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue. As imagined, it hurt quite a bit.

"Why don't you talk more often?" I asked instead.

Roxas looked slightly pained. "I…I don't know."

"Roxas, you have a visitor," Roxas's day nurse said, coming in. Her name is Allison or something. Roxas nodded.

I groaned softly; it was time for me to drag myself across the room. I started the long process.

"Axel," Roxas unexpectedly said. I turned. "Why do you do that? Why bother dragging yourself all the way across the room just to talk to me?"

"Well Roxie, it's not very fun to talk to you all the way across the room. I'd rather talk to you face to face. If that's okay with you," I answered truthfully.

"Yes." Roxas nodded.

"Roxas?" a voice asked from the door. I looked over my shoulder and saw Roxas's twin standing there, a shocked look on his face. Sora walked forward. "Roxas why?" Roxas looked at his twin, confused. There was a hurt expression on Sora's face. As he walked forward I could see that he was angry. "You'll talk to him, but not to me? You won't talk to your own twin brother but you'll talk to some stranger?" Roxas was silent. "Why Roxas? Why can't you tell me anything anymore?

"You don't understand!" Roxas suddenly choked out. "You don't understand how I'm feeling. None of you do!!"

"What do you mean?"

"You're perfect Sora! You don't know what it's like to be me. You have no idea of what mom and dad do to me!"

"Yes I do," Sora said quietly. "I'm not as stupid as you think. I know full well what they do to you."

Roxas looked surprised. "All this time…you've known? And you haven't done anything?"

"What would you have me do?! What is there to do?" Roxas was silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought. There was nothing I could do. I just had to sit and watch. Do you know how sick it made me to just sit back and watch as mom and dad made your life a living hell? I wanted to say something to someone but I knew they might hurt you even more if they knew I had told someone."

Roxas was silent for a while.

"Get out," he suddenly hissed.

"Huh?" Sora asked.

"Get out. I don't…I don't want to talk to you right now. Just leave. Please."

"Okay." Sora looked really hurt, but he did what Roxas asked him to do.

I just stared as he left. After he was gone, I turned back to Roxas. He was sniffling softly. I quickly made up my mind to drag myself back over to the bed to see if I could do anything. Gritting my teeth, I dragged myself back to Roxas's side of the room. He watched me. Finally, I made it and heaved myself up so I was being supported by my arms. For the longest time, the two of us were silent, just staring at each other. He looked so sad. It made me feel bad. He was lost and confused. I could read it in his eyes.

"Can you hold me?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Can you hold me?" he repeated, blushing. "I…I…I'm afraid."

"Of what?" I asked.

"I don't know what's going to happen. I don't understand anything that's going on. I don't even know why I jumped. I'm just so…lost."

I nodded. I realized that no matter how tough and feisty he might act, underneath, he was just a scared kid. Just a frightened kid. A feeling of protectiveness rose up inside me and I heaved myself up onto the bed. Roxas sat up and scooted over so I could lie down next to him. I wrapped my arms around him and he rested his head on my shoulder.

"I don't understand," he said, turning to look at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Why I feel comfortable around you. It's like I know you, but I've never met you before in my life."

"I know," I replied. "I feel the same way. We don't have to figure this out right now, okay? Right now, I just want to hold you, okay?"

Roxas nodded. He leaned back against my shoulder, trembling. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and stared at the wall. There was no other place I wanted to be at this moment.

To be continued…

A/N: Finally, we've got some interaction between Roxas and Axel! I hope they weren't terribly out of character. I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't really know what else to say. The next chapter should hopefully be a bit longer. Reviews help me to update faster!!


	10. Chapter 10 Roxas Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. I do own the characters not associated with them, or any other game, movie, TV show, cartoon, anime, ect.

Chapter 10 Roxas

When I woke up, I was really warm. Really warm. And I had no idea why. There was something soft underneath me and it wasn't my bed. I turned my head to the side and blinked. My vision was pretty much obscured by red hair. Vivid red hair. It could only be one person. But what the hell was Axel doing in my bed? He was fast asleep, even snoring softly. His arms were wrapped around me protectively. I was lying somewhat in his lap and my head had previously been resting on his shoulder.

Slowly, the memories came back to me. Sora and I had had a fight. I was really upset so I sent him away. And Axel comforted me. I was scared. I mean, I still am. Sort of. But being held by Axel is comforting. I've never been this close to anyone before. I've always lived in my little "bubble", as my brother calls it. I hate it when people invade my personal space. With Axel, it's different. I know he's not going to hurt me…or…or judge me. Not like everyone else in this world. For the most part. There are always exceptions. Axel is different somehow. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've known him my whole life. Maybe we were close in a past life or something. I have no idea.

I felt eyes watching me and looked up. Axel's strange friend, whose hair hides half his face, was watching me. I think his name is Zexion or something like that. I could only see one of his eyes but I could see that it was filled with curiosity.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." Zexion shook his head. "It's nothing important."

"Come on. You can tell me," I persisted.

Zexion hesitated, carefully studying me. Finally, he spoke, using a tone soft enough so that he wouldn't wake Axel up, but loud enough that I could hear him. "I'm just really surprised. Axel hasn't let anyone get this close to him since…since we broke up."

I stared at him. "Wait. You were dating him?"

Zexion nodded. "Does that…bother you?"

"No way! My brother is gay."

"I know. You just didn't seem like the type of person who would come from a family that…embraces homosexuality."

"They don't," I said quietly. "My parents hate that my brother have a boyfriend."

"You and Axel have a lot in common," Zexion muttered.

"Why?" I asked.

Zexion looked alarmed. "N…nothing. Forget it."

"I'm not going to forget it Zexion. Tell me!"

"I can't." Zexion shook his head. "Axel would kill me. He's going to kill me for revealing this much already."

"They broke you up, didn't they?" I whispered, the pieces falling into place. "They caused him to burn himself."

"Yes." Zexion's voice was barely audible. "I would give anything to stop this from happening to him."

"You still love him."

"No." Zexion's voice turned harsh. "I've gotten over him. We're friends now and that's all we'll ever be anymore. It's over between us."

"But what if that's what he needs…someone to love him?"

"I can't give that to him anymore."

"Why not?"

"I just…can't." He stared enigmatically at me. "But you can Roxas."

"Me?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. I've seen how he's acted ever since you came here. It's like he's beginning to heal, like he's starting to forgive himself for what he's done."

"Oh."

"It's good." Zexion's voice was incredibly gentle now. "It's very good Roxas. You can heal him. And maybe…he can heal you."

Beside me, Axel stirred. I stared down into his face as his eyes opened. He looked around, disoriented. His vivid eyes were slightly dim as he tried to get a better understanding of his surroundings. He yawned widely. His head turned towards me and when he saw me, his mouth snapped shut. He stared at me like I was a ghost or something.

"I'm dreaming," he finally muttered. "That's the only explanation. I've gotta be dreaming."

I felt anger boil up inside me. After all we had talked about, he thought he was dreaming? I bear my soul to him and he treats me like the bloody Ghost of Christmas Past?! Stupid bastard.

I reached over and pinched his arm as hard as I could. He gave a loud yelp and pushed himself away from me. The bed wasn't very big to begin with and with two of us in it, there was even less room. So in short: Axel fell off the bed. And he dragged me with him. I fell right on top of him. After a few moments of shocked silence, Axel started laughing. Then I started laughing. I had no idea why it was so funny.

"Can you get off me Roxas?" Axel finally asked. "You're sorta heavy."

"Oh. Sorry." I heaved myself up. It was rather difficult since I hadn't been out of bed in ages, but after a few attempts, I managed to at least stand shakily on my own. Thank god I had decided to eat so the doctor could take out my IV. Otherwise, I'd be in agony from falling and messing the damn needle up. I had to use the bed to support myself as I turned and extended my hand to Axel to help him up. He was as shaky as I was when he stood, also using the bed for support. Zexion watched us interestedly as we crawled back into my bed.

"You're going to have to go back to your side of the bed soon," I murmured. "It's probably almost time to eat."

Axel pouted. "You have to kill my fun, don't you Roxie?"

"Don't call me that!" I hissed.

"You are no fun." Axel made a face at me.

Zexion came across the room.

"Roxas is right. It's almost time for dinner," he said.

Axel grumbled something under his breath that was probably obscene. Zexion just ignored him. He was probably used to Axel's potty mouth by now. He held out his hands to offer him help, but Axel brushed it away.

"I wanna see if I can walk across the room by myself," Axel said.

"Okay." Zexion nodded.

Axel took a deep breath and turned to me. Before I could stop him, he pressed his lips against mine.

"What…was that?!" I sputtered as Axel pulled away.

"Good luck kiss." Axel grinned. "You taste good Roxie." He heaved himself out of bed and unsteadily took a step forward.

I swore under my breath. Axel was so infuriating. So why did he make me feel so hot?

Axel swayed unsteadily and I felt my breath leave me.

"Zex help me!" he cried.

Zexion rushed forward and grabbed him by the arm. I was surprised at how strong Zexion was. He was a small guy, about the same as me. He managed to keep Axel upright…somehow. Axel slowly made his way across the room. I watched Axel's ass the entire time. Don't ask me why. It just stuck out, because he was so damn skinny. There it was. Just staring at me. Well, not literally, but you get the point. Thankfully, Axel didn't have eyes in the back of his head so he had no idea that I was checking out his ass. Same with Zexion. Friend or not, I'm sure he wouldn't like me checking out Axel's ass. Finally, the two of them made it to Axel's bed and Axel collapsed on it, exhausted.

"You okay?" Zexion asked worriedly, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," Axel responded, shrugging off the hand.

_That was rude._ I thought.

Obviously, it was normal Axel behavior because Zexion was fine with it. Whatever. I didn't have time to think about it; my day nurse Allison came in with dinner. Becky, Axel's day nurse wasn't far behind with Axel's dinner.

"Well Axel, I see you managed to get your butt out of bed. And I do mean that literally," Becky said, putting Axel's tray on the nightstand by his bed.

"Well, I had a lot of help," Axel muttered. "As soon as I got out of bed, I almost fell on my ass. Zex had to help me get across the room."

"Don't be upset Axel. That's wonderful progress. Soon you'll be able to walk on your own."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

I was silent as Allison gave me my dinner and then checked me before leaving. Axel was eating noisily on the other side of the room. I gave him one glance before I started on my own dinner, not wanting it to get cold. Despite what everyone thinks, hospital food isn't that bad. I had just woken up so it was very likely that I wasn't going to be able to sleep well tonight. Well, I had a crazy (and I mean this loosely) redhead to thank for that. Stupid Axel.  
To be continued…

A/N: Wow, I wasn't expecting that humor from Roxas. At least I thought it was humorous. Remember: your opinions are valued and reviews help me to update faster.


	11. Chapter 11 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. All unrecognizable characters are mine though. Please don't take them, at least not without my permission. Thank you.

Chapter 11 Axel

Oh my god.

I kissed Roxas.

What the hell is wrong with me?!

It's not like I really planned to kiss him. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. But I don't regret it. At least I don't think I do. I wasn't lying when I said he tasted good. But that's just my opinion and I'm probably biased. Maybe I was trying to make Zexion jealous because he was standing right there. I have no idea. Like I said, I don't regret it. He didn't react like I thought he would. And by that, I mean punch me in the face. He just flushed like a schoolgirl. Yes I'm comparing Roxas to a schoolgirl. Deal with it.

Nothing happened after dinner. Not that I was really expecting anything to happen. The next morning was a day I had to go to see Marluxia for another session of Physical Therapy.

"From what I hear from your day nurse, you started walking on your own," was the first thing Marluxia told me when I was wheeled through the door.

"Yeah, though I wasn't very good. I almost fell on my ass and my friend Zexion had to help me," I answered.

"Well it's a very good sign. Your leg muscles are developing well. Can I take a look?"

"Sure." I shrugged.

Marluxia kneeled down and rolled up my pant legs. He gently touched my legs, feeling the muscles.

"This is good. This is very good. Your legs are doing very nicely. Your recovery rate is phenomenal."

I shrugged. "I'm a quick healer."  
"I can see that." Marluxia stared at me for a couple minutes before clearing his throat nervously and rolling my pant legs back down. "Okay, let's get working. Today's going to be a bit different. I'm going to have you try and walk on your own, with crutches as support, of course. Do you think you'll be up for the challenge?"

"Yeah." I nodded. I could do this, right?

Marluxia wheeled me into the main Physical Therapy room. There were all sorts of things there to help people get back on their feet, figuratively or literally, take your pick. He wheeled me over to a stretch of wood floor that was used for practicing walking.

"Stay here okay?" Marluxia asked, putting the wheelchair brakes on.

"Sure," I replied. It's not like I could go anywhere anyways.

Marluxia returned a short time later with a pair of crutches. Oh. Right. I was supposed to be trying to walk on my own.

"I think they're the right height," Marluxia told me, handing me the crutches. I had never used crutches before, but I got the gist right away. Each of them went under my arms. Marluxia helped me point them in the right direction. "Put all your weight on the crutches and they'll support you. Use them to push yourself up out of the chair."

I gritted my teeth and did what he told me. After a couple of tries, I was standing up.

"Now, try and walk forward. Only use the crutches for support," Marluxia instructed.

It was easier said than done. Finally, though, I managed to hobble forward. I probably looked totally retarded, but Marluxia didn't care. He was just happy that I was getting the hang of walking on my own. Well, I wasn't exactly on my own; I still had the crutches. But whatever. According to him, it was a huge improvement. All in all, it was a good session.

Unfortunately, that good mood the session put me was spoiled when I got back to my room. Why? Well there was this guy there. An older fellow with short blond hair. He was in his thirties, I guessed. Maybe a bit older. He smiled when he saw me and introduced himself as Ansem.

"I'm going to be your therapist when you come up to the Psychiatric Ward," he said.

"Oh." It was the only thing I could say.

I had completely forgotten about that. In my excitement over Roxas, I had failed to notice that I was getting better. I hadn't snapped since Roxas had arrived. Of course, the nurses had been careful to not grab me by the arm, but the truth was, I was a lot calmer than when I was brought in. I didn't mind being around people as much. As long as I had Roxas. I hadn't even noticed the change. But the stupid doctors had and now they were going to move me away, take me away from Roxas. It just wasn't fair.

"Axel? Are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Ansem asked.

I blinked. "Uh…I don't think you really wanna know the answer to that one."

"That's what I surmised." Ansem chuckled softly. "I was merely stating that your physical therapist thinks that you'll be well enough to walk on your own by the end of the week. I think that by Saturday evening, we'll be able to admit you into the Psychiatric Ward."

"Oh." My voice cracked. All of a sudden, my throat felt incredibly rough. "Becky, can…can you get me a glass of water?"

"Sure Axel." Becky nodded.

She brought me a cup of water. I drank it fast, grateful for the temporary distraction. When I lowered the glass, Ansem was studying me.

"What?" I choked out.

"You're upset," Ansem stated in his calm voice.

"Yeah. So?" I retorted.

"So, I am wondering the cause of this anger."  
"Hell if I know," I snapped.

"I think you know perfectly well what it is that is causing your anger. You just don't want to admit it. There's something here that makes you want to stay, makes you not want to let go and move on."

I closed my mouth. It was like he knew about my feelings for Roxas. I didn't trust myself to say anything because I would probably give it away and I couldn't do that. My silence seemed to give Ansem the answer he was looking for.

Ansem smiled. "I will see you on Saturday."

"F…fine," I stuttered. God, I sounded like an idiot.

Ansem left. I took a deep breath, followed by another one. Believe it or not, this actually works. After a few minutes, I had calmed myself down. Roxas was watching me. I couldn't read the expression in his eyes. Sad? Upset? Pained? I have no idea. I turned away, unable to look at him any longer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last week went by way too fast. On Wednesday, Marluxia had me try to walk without the crutches. It was really difficult, but by the end of the session, I was able to walk at least a short distance by myself. Thursday passed without incident. Roxas ignored me, which really hurt, but I knew that I was going to have to start distancing myself from him. I didn't want to, but it was the only way I was going to be able to retain my sanity. Or what was left of it.

On Friday morning, I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. It was my last day before being moved to the Psych Ward. I was probably never going to see Roxas again. I silently ate breakfast and waited for Becky to come in with a wheelchair to take me to my last Physical Therapy session. She noticed that I was unusually quiet, but didn't say anything. My Physical Therapy session went as it usually did, though Marluxia did end it earlier than usual so he could get my paperwork in order. We went back to his office. He made me walk there on my own, saying that I needed the practice and that I needed to get used to not having a wheelchair. It was really tiring, but I did it. Marluxia didn't speak as he did something that had to do with my paperwork I guess.

Finally, my last session was finished and Marluxia shook my hand before he left. Rose took me out one last time to where Becky was waiting. We silently went back to my room. She stopped the wheelchair at the door and told me that I had to walk by myself. I glared at her but heaved myself out of the chair and slowly walked across the room. My parents came and dropped off a duffel bag of my clothes for me to wear so I wouldn't have to wear the same thing over and over again. Shouldn't they have done that originally? They weren't going to be able visit me for a while; visiting hours were very strict in the Psych Ward, according to Becky. That meant Zexion couldn't visit me either. Damn it. Could this day get any worse?

My second (and only other) visitor was Zexion. His expression was unreadable as usual, but I knew that he was at least a little bit sad about me leaving. He stayed until lunch. The rest of my afternoon was spent staring at the ceiling. Sara came in for her shift at eight, as usual. She was very glad to be getting rid of me even though she didn't act like it. Roxas hadn't said a word all day, not even when Sora and some others came to visit him. After Sara left for the rest of her rounds, I got out of bed and walked over to Roxas's side of the room. He stared at me, but didn't say anything.

"Hi, Roxas," I said rather nervously. No response. This could get really bad real fast. I cleared my throat. "As you know, I'm leaving for the Psych Ward tomorrow. I'm probably never going to see you again so um…" I hesitated, unsure of how I wanted to word my thoughts. "I'm going to miss you. A lot. So…um…yeah." I hastily turned away so Roxas wouldn't see my crying. I started walking back to my own side.

"Axel wait," Roxas unexpectedly said.

Surprised, I stopped walking and turned around. Roxas was struggling to get out of bed. When he had managed to get up, he closed the distance between us.

"Roxas?" I whispered.

Roxas stared at me for a few moments, uncertainty reflecting in his blue eyes. Then, he stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. I blinked, completely not expecting it, but when Roxas didn't pull away, I closed my eyes. We parted briefly for air, then came back together. He stood on his tiptoes because he was so short, or I was so tall, take your pick. The point is that he had to stand up as tall as he could because of our height difference. I put my arms around his waist and pulled him even closer to me, making sure I didn't hurt his broken arm.

"If you want me to stop…" I murmured.

"No." Roxas quickly shook his head. "I'm fine." As if to demonstrate his point, he pressed his lips to mine again.

"How far do you want to take this?" I asked.

Roxas shrugged. "Let's just see where this goes."  
"Fine with me." I grinned.

I started the kiss this time. The longer we kissed, the shorter our breaths seemed to get. Which for me wasn't a good thing. Asthma, remember?

"Roxas wait," I panted, breaking off the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked.

"Asthma. Can I just…rest a minute."

Roxas nodded and let go of me. I sat down on his bed, him next to me. We were silent.

"I'm sorry," Roxas finally whispered. I stared at him. "If I hadn't started kissing you…"

"Roxie," I murmured, gently cupping his cheek. "It's not your fault I have asthma. It's my own damn fault for playing with fire so much. Don't you ever blame yourself, okay?"

Roxas nodded. I lowered my hand and we sat there.

To be continued…

A/N: Just so everyone on which Ansem I'm referring to (because there was that whole thing with Ansem getting his name stolen by Xenahort in the game), I'm talking about Ansem the Wise, who called himself DiZ in Kingdom Hearts II. That Ansem.

What is it with me and random make-out scenes between Axel and Roxas?! I was totally not expecting to have them make out, just like what happened in To Save a Life. Sigh.

I'm not really sure how fast I'm going to be able to update because I'm starting classes tomorrow and I have two really hard classes; Physiology and Human Nutrition. I'm probably going to have to spend a lot of time studying, but I'm going to try and balance my schoolwork with my writing. Please just be patient with me.


	12. Chapter 12 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. All unrecognizable characters are mine, however, and I would really appreciate it if you ask me before using them.  
A/N: I was going to write this chapter from Roxas's POV but I decided that I wouldn't have enough to write about, so I decided to just write from Axel's POV again. This is the first back-to-back chapter from the same POV, but I'm sure it won't be the last.

Chapter 12 Axel

I left this morning.

It's so weird. It doesn't seem real at all. Becky woke me up this morning pretty early in order to get me ready for my transfer. I got dressed and Becky served me breakfast—a bowl of oatmeal, a thing (I'm not sure what you'd call it) of yogurt, and a cup of apple juice because my stomach doesn't react well to orange juice; it's too acidic and gives me a stomachache.

After breakfast, it was time for me to get ready. While I gathered my things. Becky went to get me a wheelchair; they weren't going to make me walk all the way to the Psych Ward by myself. When she returned, there was another nurse with her. She was shorter and stockier than Becky with light brownish-red hair and almond-colored eyes.

"Axel, I want you to meet your new nurse, Hannah. She'll be taking care of you during your stay at the Psych Ward," Becky said.

"Hi Axel." Hannah smiled sweetly at me.

"Hi." I smiled back.

"Just give us a couple minutes to make sure everything is set and then we can get going," Hannah said.

I nodded. The moment I was dreading was fast approaching. Hannah and Becky left.

Sighing softly, I walked over to Roxas's side of the room one last time. I would have given my cell phone number, if I still had one. See, my parents confiscated my cell phone after I landed myself in the hospital the first time. I didn't burn myself on purpose, but I did get burned when I set my curtains on fire (don't ask). Plus I'm sure my parents didn't want me to be able to communicate with Zexion, if possible. Which didn't work, but I'm getting way off-track here.

Roxas was awake when I approached his bed. He probably woke up when Becky came in to get me up. The expression on his face was unreadable as he watched me come over. I tried to smile, but it made my chest hurt even more than it already did. The two of us just stared at each other for a few moments. I knew that I had to say something because Roxas obviously wasn't going to say anything.

"Well Roxas, I guess this is it. I wish it didn't have to end like this, or so suddenly, but I guess Fate has other plans for us. I guess we'll just have to find out what Fate wants from us when the time comes. Anyway, I'm digressing. I have a very bad habit of that. I'm very glad I got the chance to meet you and to sort of get to know you. Hopefully things will work out for you. So, as much as I hate saying this, it's goodbye."

Roxas nodded miserably. He sat up. Slowly, I moved to the side of the bed and leaned forward to kiss him. I was slightly surprised when he deepened it, but went with it. He was much more careful this time because now he knew that it could aggravate my asthma. I have really bad asthma. Not every asthmatic will be affected by kissing, but I am. It's just how I work. The sound of someone clearing their throat made us look up. Roxas turned a lovely rose color and I'm sure I was at least a little bit flushed. Becky and Hannah were standing in the doorway with a wheelchair. Becky was smiling but Hannah didn't look so happy.

"It's time to go," Hannah said.

"Right," I muttered, pushing myself off Roxas's bed; somehow we got into a position where I was sort of kneeling over him. Kind of a compromising position.

I grabbed my duffel bag from where I had left it on my bed and walked over to the door. I sat in the wheelchair and got me settled. Now it was really time for me to go. I couldn't help sighing softly as I gazed at Roxas one last time.

"Well Roxie," I said as brightly as I could muster. "See you around. Good luck with life and stuff."

Hannah silently pushed me out of the room.

"Good bye Axel," I heard Roxas murmur as I left.

It made leaving hurt even more.

The trip to the Psych Ward took extremely long. It was on the opposite side of the hospital, which is really saying something because this hospital is HUGE!

"Aren't you tired from pushing me so far?" I asked Hannah.

She shook her head. "I'm used to walking all over the place."

"Oh." That killed that conversation.

Finally, we arrived at a pair of large metal double doors marked: Psychiatric Ward. Authorized Personnel and Escorted Guests Only Beyond This Point. We had to go through a whole bunch of security before we were able to go through. Hannah said it was because they didn't want any of the patients in the ward getting out. Yeah, I guess that was true. Hannah announced my arrival and we had to wait for a while. They searched my bag which was pointless because there were only clothes in them, but you never know, right? Then they did a lot of paperwork and things I just flat out didn't understand. They introduced me to a lot of people. I didn't even remember them after a couple minutes. Finally, they took me back into the actual ward.

Hannah did her best to explain things. The first thing we passed was a bunch of conference rooms that were used for family visits, if it was applicable. Then there was a large lounge-like room with a card table among other things. This was the 'gathering room'. There was a room with a bunch of chairs for group therapy and another room with easels and art supplies. The art room. Next to the art room was a large cafeteria. We only peeked in because it was packed. Apparently everyone was at breakfast.

On the other side of the cafeteria on both sides of the hallway were classrooms. Some of the more "normal" (and Hannah used this term loosely) patients were actually able to participate in a class and…learn stuff. Like in school. It depended on the individual patient's needs and stuff. After the classrooms ended, there was a fork in the hallway. You could either turn left or right. We turned right. To the left, Hannah said, were the offices of the psychiatrists who worked here. Starting a short distance down the hall were the patient rooms. There were several different types, depending on how severe the patient's needs were. Some were more 'medical' meaning that there were more pieces of medical equipment. They looked like hospital rooms. Some looked like regular rooms and not hospital rooms and there were some that were in the middle. Hannah let me look in some of the rooms as we went by. They were all empty, of course.

My room was one of the middle rooms; the medical equipment was very limited. It, like the majority of the rooms, was a double, meaning that there were two people sharing it. My roommate, Demyx was at breakfast and I would meet him later. I was surprised to see that there was a guitar propped up against one of the walls. It seemed like it would be something forbidden because it was large and heavy, good for hurting one's self but Hannah smiled and said that Demyx was a very special case. Whatever that meant. Hannah left me alone for a little while so I could get "settled". I sat on the edge of my bed and looked around at my new 'home'. The room was small, square, and not entirely unpleasant. The room was scarcely furnished and everything was bolted to the floor. There were two beds on opposite sides of the room and a dresser between them. There was even a window. It was barred but hell, at least there was some natural light. The floor was tile which would be a bitch in the winter, but it wasn't entirely impossible to deal with. The medical equipment was limited to a thingy for an IV, a heart monitor, and an oxygen thing…y. There was a locked cabinet near the door that probably had everything medically related in it. The last thing that sort of bugged me was the restraints. It just made me feel uncomfortable. I know they were there in case of an emergency, but still…

I shook my head and tried to not dwell on that. Luckily, there was a soft knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

"Um…come in?" I said.

The door opened and Hannah came in.

"Axel, your roommate is here. Are you…comfortable with meeting him right now?" she said.

"Um…yeah. Sure," I replied.

Might as well get it over with.

Hannah turned and said something to an invisible person. Well invisible to me. Then she stepped out of the way and a different nurse with long brown hair stepped forward with a blond in tow.

"Hi Axel. My name is Aerith. I'm Demyx's nurse," the nurse said with a smile.

"Hi."

Aerith turned around and I started feeling nervous. Just how crazy was my roommate? Would I be afraid of him?

"Come on Demyx. He's fine," Aerith said softly. She turned around, slightly exasperated. "I'm sorry. He's a bit scared."

"Hey it's cool," I said, shrugging. "I can totally understand. In this place, you have every right to be afraid."

"You have no idea," Demyx muttered softly. He sounded normal enough.

I shifted impatiently.

"Come on kid. I won't bite you I promise. I may look like I want to, but trust me, human being isn't exactly high on my 'Tastiest Foods' list. It's more like…number 1,003. Right under dirt."

There was a low laugh. Then, Demyx stepped out. He looked relatively normal with longish blond hair styled halfway between a mowhawk and a mullet and friendly sea green eyes…except that there were long scars on his face and arms. I wish I had had at least a bit of warning so I wouldn't stare at the poor guy's face. It's not like he's disfigured or anything. It's just…god. What the hell happened to him? Did he do it to himself?

He saw me staring at the scars and lowered his eyes.

"I'm hideous I know," he mumbled.

"Demyx," Aerith scolded. "You know you're not allowed to talk like that."

"But it's true," Demyx mumbled.

"I don't think you're hideous," I spoke up.

Demyx looked up at me. "You're just saying that."  
"No. I'm not. Really. Look, I'm all scar-ry too." I pushed up the sleeves of my shirt (it was a long sleeved shirt) and showed Demyx all the scars on my arms. Then I bent down and showed him the ones on my legs. Those were much worse because that's where I got burned the worst. Demyx flinched when he saw him. I saw the curiosity reflected in his sea-green eyes but he didn't say anything.

"You can ask if you want. I'm totally cool talking about it," I said with a faint smile.

"Y…you are?" Demyx looked surprised for some reason.

"Yeah. It doesn't bother me."

"What happened?" Demyx's voice was soft.

"There was a fire," I answered. "I burned myself."

Demyx frowned. "Don't you mean you got burned in the fire?"

"No. I burned myself. I. Burned. Myself." Demyx didn't seem to get it. I gestured to my arms and legs. "I purposefully set myself on fire."

Demyx's eyes widened and he stared at me. He was rendered speechless for quite some time.

"Okay. It's time for us to go to the gathering room," Aerith cut the silence brightly. "Demyx, are you coming?"

Demyx silently nodded. He trailed after the nurse. At the door, he turned around and looked at me.

"You didn't ask me what happened," he stated. "It's just a bit weird. Everyone I've met so far has wanted to know."

I shrugged. "I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to. You can tell me if you want."  
Demyx made a soft "oh" sound and turned around. He hesitated in the door and turned around again.

"I fell," he unexpectedly said. "When I was eight. I fell through a window."

"Ah, I see."

Demyx seemed to fight with himself for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, that's not right. I didn't fall. I was pushed. By my father."

"Your father?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah." Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.

"That sucks," I offered. "If it's any consolation, my father tried to 'convert' me."

Demyx gave me a blank look. I sighed softly; I was going to have to explain things.

"I am gay and my parents are homophobic," I said shortly. Demyx's eyes widened. He just stared at me. "Look, I don't care if you're against it. I really don't. But…"

The door opened and Hannah came in.

"Axel, I need you to come with me. Dr. Wise is ready to see you," she said briskly.

"Oh. Okay." I moved past Demyx without giving him a second glance.

I followed Hannah down the halls.

"I forgot to tell you about the rules. Most of them are easy to remember," she said as we walked. No going anywhere except the bathroom without an escort. No guests except for by special permission from Dr. Wise. No sleeping with the opposite sex." She gave me a withering look. "I'm sure you won't have a problem with that. But I'm sure sleeping with the same sex won't be tolerated either. In short: no having sex anywhere. Period."

"Talk about sucking the fun out of life," I muttered.

Hannah pointedly ignored me. She went on about meals and all sorts of other fun stuff. She left me at Ansem's door saying that she'd be back when my hour was up. I breathed deeply and knocked on the door.

"Come in," a man's voice commanded quietly.

I pushed the door open and entered. Ansem's room was like a lot of other psychiatrist's offices that I had seen over the years. It was set up differently than all the others but it had couches and chairs, a desk pushed into the corner, large windows that had bars over them, and several large bookshelves. Ansem was sitting in a recliner, a pair of thin-framed glasses on his nose. He smiled when he saw me.

"Ah Axel. Welcome," he said.

"Hi," I responded.

"Have a seat wherever you want." Ansem motioned to the wide array of chairs and couches. I chose a comfortable-looking couch and sighed as I sank back into the cushions. Ansem smiled. "So Axel. I am going to be your psychologist for the next…well however long it takes you to heal. I'm sure you know the drill. You'll also be seeing a psychiatrist. Your records indicate that you have seen several psychologists in the past."

"Question," I interrupted Ansem. "What the hell is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?"

"A very good question Axel. A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medication for a patient and a psychologist is not."

"Will I be seeing both?"

"Yes. You will be. You'll meet with me daily and your psychiatrist once a week to begin with. As time goes on, you will see us less and less until eventually…we hope…you'll be able to be released and live among society again."

"When will I meet my psychiatrist?"

"You will have your first meeting with him a little later today."

"Him? What is his name?"

"His name is Xehanort and he's a former student of mine."  
"Will he be drugging me up?"

"Not unless he deems it necessary. That will be something you'll have to go over with him. Now, in this first session I want to go over all the boring information like your history and personal information. We'll start at the very beginning. You are an only child correct?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I don't think my parents ever meant to have kids…"  
"What do you mean by that?" Ansem interrupted, frowning a bit.

"They just aren't really the type of people who would go off and raise a big family. But they got stuck with me."

"How would you describe your relationship with your parents?"

I laughed shortly. "Not very good. They don't like…" I stopped myself.

"What? What don't they like?"  
"They don't like my sexual preference."

"Indeed. So I take it you're either gay or bisexual?" Ansem peered at me.

"Bi."

"And how long have you known?"

"Since middle school. Can we talk about something else please?"

"Yes. I should have realized that it's not something you're willing to talk about right off the bat and that is fine. You grew up in a…normal household, am I correct?"

"Define 'normal.'"

"No divorces. No family deaths. Things that would cause you stress."

"Yeah. There was nothing like that, at least from what I can remember."

"What do you mean by that?" Ansem frowned.

"I don't remember some things that happened when I was a kid. I think…" I let out a long breath. "I think I'm repressing things that happened, maybe some bad things."

"Oh?" It was a prompt for me to continue.

"No matter how hard I think about it, I can't recall certain times in my life, like when I was eight. Actually my first memory isn't until I'm nine."

"Do you think something happened that would cause you to repress things?"

"I don't know. See that's the thing. I have no idea. I've asked my parents about it but they insist that nothing has happened to me and change the subject. They quickly change the subject."

"Which makes you think something happened that they aren't telling you about?" Ansem asked.

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Would that be…something that you'd want to work on in here with me?"

"There are certain techniques that I can use to help with that and sometimes, the memories will resurface on their own."

"Okay. That sounds good." I paused. "Do you think…this will help me?"

Ansem nodded. "I think there is some connection to your recent hospitalization however…" he glanced at the clock. "It would appear we are out of time for today so we'll pick up where we left off tomorrow all right?"

"Sounds good." I rose and left.

Hannah was waiting for me and we silently went back to my room.

To be continued…

A/N: First, let me apologize for the lack of updates recently. I've been buried under piles of school work and I'm having some personal problems that are just adding to my stress level. So…yeah.

Also I just wanna explain some things in this fic. I'm not entirely sure of what goes on in a Psych Ward at a hospital so I've taken a bit of artistic license with this. I do know some things from my Psychology classes that I've taken and I've been able to string a few things together. Normally, a person who was mentally unstable would be admitted directly into the Psych Ward but Axel's case is different because he was so severely injured. He was forced to stay in the main hospital until he was able to be moved.

The focus is starting to shift towards Axel a bit more but that doesn't mean Roxas is out of the picture for good. He, as well as Zexion, will be coming back later. This is something I'm certain about. I probably won't really refer to Roxas for a couple chapters, but that doesn't mean that he's gone for good. Same with Zexion. I just want to sort of set a foundation for the rest of the fic. You'll see how Zexion gets acquainted with Demyx later. I promise. Oh yeah, and I'm starting to shifting towards lengthier chapters. Instead of 1,000-2,000 words, I'm trying to make the chapters around 3,000 or maybe 4,000 words. The transition to longer chapters will be slow so it's not overwhelming. So…yeah. Reviews help me update faster. And I'm sorry for rambling too much.

Edit: I finally went back and made a couple of corrections. Just so everyone is clear, Hannah and some others will refer to Ansem as "Dr. Wise" because they're being formal. Axel on the other hand, will refer to Ansem informally, using his first name. There will be others who refer to Ansem informally and some who will refer to him formally. I HATE MS Word!! It keeps messing up the spacing! I think I got them all. Let me know if I didn't and I'll go back and fix them. I really appreciate it.


	13. Chapter 13 Demyx Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. And I'm not making any money by writing this either. Okay?

A/N: -looks at date and pales- I know, this chapter is long overdue. I'm so sorry. NaNoWriMo was a bitch, but I'm proud to say that I did it!!! I made it to 50,000 words by the 30th even though the novel was really crappy. Writing that was an adventure in itself, especially when the main character decided he wanted to die in like the tenth chapter or so. But I revived him and made it to the end. But anyway, yeah. So sorry. Please don't kill me!!

Chapter 13 Demyx

Axel is a handful, that's for sure. The first time I met him, I wasn't sure of what to make of him. He was so…I don't even know a word to describe him. I had known for a while that I was going to be getting a roommate. At least they had had the decency to tell me beforehand. But nothing could have prepared me for when I actually met the guy.

The first thing I noticed about Axel was his hair. It was so…red. And it was everywhere. His eyes were bright green and beneath each eye was a teardrop tattoo. He was older than me by a year or two and he was smiling. He did stare at my scarred face and arms, but then he showed me his scars. They were a lot worse than mine, but luckily were easy to hide with clothes. He talked so casually about how he got the scars—he burned himself in a fire. And he didn't ask why I had my scars, not like everyone else. I ended up telling him though.

At first I told him the lie, the one I had been telling for a long time until I started to believe it was the truth. But then I saw his kind face and I instantly felt horrible about lying to him. So I told him the truth. His reaction was sort of strange. The smile faded away slightly and he seemed to be deep in thought. Then he told me about his parents and how he was gay and they were homophobic. All I could do was just stare at him until his nurse came to get him; it was time for his first visit with his psychologist. Aerith came back to see why I hadn't followed her. I didn't give her a response as I followed her into the gathering room, clutching my guitar tightly to my chest. Aerith and I sat in the corner as we usually did and I started strumming chords on my guitar, trying to compose a song.

After a while, I stopped and looked up at Aerith.

"Can you please get me something to write with and write on?" I asked.

Aerith nodded and went over to the table where another patient Amanda was coloring. She brought back a piece of blank paper and a crayon.

"I'm sorry, this is the best I could do," Aerith apologized, holding them out.

"It's all right." I smiled at her.

The crayon was dull, but I could work with it. I drew out a staff on the paper and started working.

Axel did not reappear for quite a while and when he did, he was smiling again. Yuffie, the resident psycho (not counting us crazies) introduced him to everyone. There were a dozen of us who were actually allowed out of our rooms. We weren't as much of a danger to ourselves as some of the others. Amanda sat at her usual table coloring and humming to herself. Alyson sat next to her actually drawing. They were twins, though they didn't really look alike. Amanda had red hair and Alyson had light blonde hair. Luxord, a man obsessed with gambling sat at his usual table in the corner with his nurse playing cards. His icy blue eyes briefly rested on Axel before returning to his cards. Xigbar and Xaldin sat in their usual corner talking. They were a weird pair. Xaldin had long black hair and violet eyes and Xigbar had an eye patch. His long black hair was streaked with grey and one yellow eye glared out at Axel. There were a bunch of others, though I couldn't remember their names. I was never the best at remembering names.

Everyone stared at Axel, but he didn't seem affected by it. Amanda surprisingly got up from her place and walked up to Axel.

"Me and Alyson were wondering if that was really your hair color," she said slowly. She looked slightly intimidated by the sight of Axel, but he didn't seem to mind. He smiled.

"Yes, this is my natural color," he said.

Right on schedule, SaÏx began screaming. He's one of the more dangerous patients. The doctors don't know why but he has these episodes where he just starts screaming and just...loses it. Which prompts screaming matches between him and some of the other residents. In short, things just go to hell. Which is precisely what happened. Some of the other patients started throwing temper tantrums and things. Like chairs and other things. Alyson and Amanda began crying as well as some of the other girls. Axel just stood there in the middle of the room staring blankly as things whizzed by his head.

"Axel?" His nurse Hannah asked, gently touching Axel's arm.

I stared when Axel jerked his arm away.

"Let go of me!" he yelled. He cradled his arm. "I'll be a good boy. I promise. Just don't lock me away again. Please." His breathing started quickening. He fell to his knees, clutching his chest. Hannah's eyes widened and she knelt down next to him. "Axel." Her voice was gentle. "Axel it's okay. No one is going to hurt you. No one will lock you away, all right?"

"You promise?" He sounded so childlike.

"Yes."

Somehow, Hannah managed to convince him to get up and walk with her in the general direction of the rooms. The rest of us were herded into the Art Room for an impromptu art session. Axel didn't rejoin us for about half an hour and when he did, he was smiling serenely. I was the only one who found this strange. Axel was given the easel next to me. I looked over at him from time to time. He seemed completely normal, all things considered, not like he had just had a childlike outburst. But that's the way things go here. Always have and always will.

Lunch was hasty because of the earlier incident that occurred. But it's become a routine here. After lunch, I had my hourly session with Dr. Ansem.

"Ah Demyx, welcome," he said cordially, offering me a choice of seats.

Today I chose the squashy armchair in the corner. It's one of my favorites.

"So how are you doing today?" Dr. Ansem asked.

"Good, considering what happened this morning," I answered.

"Ah yes, I heard about that. It is becoming quite a routine here for SaÏx to start screaming at the same time each morning."

"And Axel acted weird," I said before I could stop myself.

Dr. Ansem looked interested. "Oh? What happened?"

"When his nurse touched his arm, he went nuts. He cried out and begged that he not be locked away. He said he'd be a good boy." I shivered at the memory. It was clear at least to me that something had happened to Axel when he was a child that caused this to happen.

"What do you think of Axel? He is your new roommate after all."

"He's…" I thought for a word to describe him, but there was none. "I have no idea what he is."

"Quite a character, huh?" Dr. Ansem smiled.

"Yeah." I nodded. " I don't know what to make of him. He isn't like anyone else I've met before."

"Oh?" Ansem prompted.

"He did stare at my scars like everyone else, but didn't ask. And he was totally forward about what happened to him. He didn't seem ashamed of his actions at all. He didn't pry. I told him anyway though. I couldn't help it."

"Did you tell him the truth?"

I hesitated. "Yes. I told him the lie at first, but then I told him the truth. I felt bad about lying to him."

"That's good Demyx. It's a good step toward being more open about your feelings."

"I feel like…like I can trust him."

"Good. Very good."

I smiled. "I think he'll be a good friend."

"Yes, I agree."

"What else would you like to talk about?" Dr. Ansem asked.

"I don't know." I shifted uncomfortably. "He told me that he's gay."

"Oh? And what do you feel about this?"

"It's okay. I mean it's okay that he's gay. I don't have a problem with it. Especially since I…"

"You have been questioning your sexual identity for some time now, haven't you?" Dr. Ansem asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "But I know now more than ever that I am…"

"You are what?" Dr. Ansem asked.

"I'm…I'm…" I struggled with the word that had eluded me for so long.

"Come on Demyx. You can say it. Saying the word helps you accept the truth. You're gay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Say the word out loud. Make it official. You're gay."

"I'm gay," I whispered. The words barely came out. "I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'M GAY!!"

"Excellent Demyx. You see, saying it out loud isn't as hard as you think. And now that it's out, don't you feel so much better?"

"Yes," I answered.

It was great. It felt so good to get the words out there at last. I was gay and there was nothing wrong with me. Despite what my parents might think, there was nothing wrong with me liking other boys instead of girls.

"What else is going on Demyx?" Ansem asked.

"Not really a whole lot. I was working on another song when Saix started screaming his lungs out so I got interrupted," I answered.

"That's too bad. How is that song coming?"

I shrugged. "It's coming. Some days are better than others. Some days I'm just fine, but other days, I just think my stuff is complete crap and want to tear it to bits. Sometimes I do just that. Not that it really matters." I smiled bitterly. "I'm completely worthless anyway."

"Demyx, what have I told you about saying those sort of things about yourself? You are not worthless at all. You create wonderful music and have so many other talents as well."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"You're a gifted musician, and from what I've heard, you've got a lovely singing voice. You can paint and you're a brilliant student. You just have a hard time seeing these good qualities."

"If you say so." I sighed softly.

"I know so. It looks like we're out of time for now, but I have a little assignment I'd like you to do for me, okay?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"I want you to make a list of all the good qualities you have. I'm not talking about your talents, like the things you do, but the qualities you have. An example would be that you are a good listener. You'll be surprised at how many good qualities you have Demyx. If you get stuck, ask Aerith. She'll be able to help you, I'm sure. I will see you tomorrow."

"Bye Dr. Ansem," I murmured.

I met Aerith outside his office and told her of my assignment.

"That doesn't seem too hard," she said cheerily. "We can sit down together in the gathering room and make a list together. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good." I nodded.

We went to the gathering room where Yuffie was setting up an arts and crafts section. A special arts and crafts because there are so many things that could go wrong around us. Instead of joining them, Aerith lead me into a quiet corner and fetched a piece of paper and a crayon.

"Okay, first on the list: good listener," I said.

Aerith wrote it down. She has much better handwriting than I do.

"Okay. Next, very very sweet," Aerith said.

I flushed.

"You're very kind." Aerith wrote down.

"What ya doing?" Axel asked, walking over to us, Hannah trailing behind him.

"Making a list," Aerith answered. "Demyx has to make a list of all the good qualities he has for Dr. Ansem. Would you like to try?"

"No thank you." Axel shook his head. "But I will sit here if you don't mind."

"No, not at all," I said truthfully.

Grinning, Axel sat in the seat next to me. Hannah sat next to him.

"You're a good friend," Axel pointed out. "I know I haven't known you for very long, but I think it's safe to say that you're a good friend."

"How do you know?" I asked.

Axel smiled mysteriously. "I just know."

At the end of our free period (which was an hour long), Aerith and I had come up with quite a long list of good qualities that I possessed. Feeling happier than usual, I went to my weekly meeting with my psychiatrist, Vexen. You see, there are several psychiatrists here, not just one. And there are also several psychologists. Ansem is in charge and he's the one I happen to see. All the other psychiatrists and psychologists are former students of Ansem's. It's really pretty neat.

Vexen is okay. He's a bit cold, but I've gotten used to him. Our meetings are always quick. He asks me how I'm feeling and if I'm experiencing any of the side effects from the drugs I've been taking. I haven't. He weighs me and measures me to see how I'm growing (because I am still growing). Then, he tells me to keep taking my medicine and I'm free to go. This happens every single time. It was quite pointless. I went back to the room Axel and I share for a little private down time before dinner. Axel was there (duh) staring at the ceiling. Around here, there's not much else we can do. Fortunately, I have something to occupy my time. I went to the corner and pick up my prized guitar.

"Do you mind if I play?" I asked. "It keeps me occupied so I don't start freaking out."

"Naw, it's fine," Axel said.

"I'm sorry if I suck." I sat on my bed and got the guitar into position. I started strumming the chords and sang along. _"In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone…"_

I stopped when I realized that Axel was staring at me.

"I'm sorry. I must sound so bad," I murmured.

"No." Axel rapidly shook his head. "It's wonderful. Really. You have one hell of a voice."

"Really? You think so?" I flushed.

"Yeah. I could never sing like that in a million years."

"I'm sure you're not bad at all. Do you know the words to the song?"

"Yeah. Molly Malone, right? Love that song."

I nodded and started strumming again. _"In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone. She wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow, crying 'cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh."_

"_Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying 'cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'." _I was surprised when Axel joined in, but glad; he had a very good voice as well.

We sang together, _"She was a fishmonger, and sure it 'twas no wonder, for so were her father and mother before. They both wheeled their barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying 'cockles and muscles, alive, alive, oh'. Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying 'cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'. She died of a fever and no one could save her. And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone. But her ghost wheels her barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying "cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh. Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying 'cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'."_

Both of us were silent after I had finished the last chord. Hannah and Aerith stood in the doorway, both of them looking stunned.

"That was…incredible," Aerith finally managed to say.

"It's a sad song," Hannah said.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Tragic. But I think that's why I like it so much."

"Was there something you ladies wanted?" Axel asked, grinning cheekily.

"Yes. It's time for dinner," Aerith said.

"Okay. We'll be right there," Axel responded. He turned to me. "You know, you should consider putting on a concert sometime. I'm serious! I'm sure the others would love to hear your beautiful voice and great guitar skills. I'm sure you've written some great stuff, even better than Molly Malone."

"I don't know," I said hesitatingly. "I don't like sharing my stuff with others. What if they don't like it? What if they say I suck?"

"You don't suck," Axel said sternly. "You're great. You just need a bit of a confidence boost. Okay, maybe a big confidence boost, but that's beside the point. I know you're good. You should really think about giving a concert sometime."

"I'll think about it," I conceded just a little.

"Well, it's a start." Axel shrugged. "Come on, let's go to dinner. I'm starving and even if the food sucks, I don't care."

I smiled and followed Axel out of our room. Things were definitely going to be interesting with him around.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, I finally finished the chapter. Sure took me long enough. No, there's nothing going on between Demyx and Axel except friendship. I'm planning to reintroduce Zexion and Roxas soon. Hey, at least I brought another Organization member in. It was just completely random. Oh well. I'm going to get some sleep. Sleep is good. Sorry for all the rambling. Oh yes and I don't own the song Molly Malone either.

Edit: I went back and corrected the errors I found. Good Lord, I must have been tired when I wrote this because I made a bunch of mistakes. There were a couple grammatical errors I fixed and I wrote in the present tense more than I intended. It's sort of hard to explain. Some things, like some thoughts are in the present tense and the rest is in past tense. But I slipped up. And I also fixed a part where I said, "Demyx" instead of "I", lapsing back to third person, which is what I normally use when I write. I can't believe no one saw those mistakes. They were pretty obvious to me at least. Oh well. Sorry for the ramblings.

Edit 2: I corrected a huge error I made; I had Kairi and Namine in the Psych Ward when they weren't really supposed to be there because they were friends with Roxas. Well at least Namine was. I am SO sorry for that!!!!


	14. Chapter 14 Roxas Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II, no matter how much I want to. I'm just borrowing them.

Chapter 14 Roxas

I swear someone up there really hates me. How else can you explain all the shit that has happened to me? First I was born to a family that doesn't love me. Well, almost no one loves me. Sora loves me. And I have godparents that love me. But not parents.

I had friends once. Until Kairi turned the school against my brother, Riku, and me. Now the only friend I have is Naminé. I tried to kill myself and failed.

Then I met Axel.

He wasn't like anyone else I had ever met before. I know this sounds totally lame, but around him, I didn't feel like I had to hide who I was. I could just be…me. I started falling in love with him. I was starting to feel happy again. Then they took Axel away from me. It was totally and completely unfair. I don't know if I loved him or not. I mean I barely knew the guy, but there was something there. Then he was gone, taken out of my life.

The gods must really hate me. They're making my life a living hell. Well, to be fair, I hate them too. They've totally fucked up my life.

After Axel left, nothing of real consequence happened. He made things interesting and now that he was gone, nothing interesting happened. Day in and day out, the same thing happened. I woke up, got breakfast, Allison changed my clothes and my sheets, and every other day gave me a bath, and put me back. Then I would have visitors until lunch. After lunch, I would hang around until my night nurse Jasmine came in, getting dinner sometime before she came in. Then I would go to sleep and repeat the process the next day.

After a while, I started physical therapy with Marluxia. Weird guy. Nice, just kind of weird. Like Axel, only less weird. God I miss Axel. I'm not ashamed to admit that. He really was something. My life was a living hell. I got all the proof I needed that the gods hate my guts one night about a week after Axel left.

Everything was normal. The day had gone by slowly and included even more physical therapy, visits from my family, and normal, regular meals. It was about 9 at night when my night nurse Jasmine came in, a strange expression on her face.

"Jasmine? What's wrong?" I asked.

Jasmine looked at me funny. "You're getting a new roommate, another suicide attempt."

"Okay…" I didn't understand.

I wouldn't understand until they brought him in. Yes, him. A 'him' I had already met. I stared at the boy being wheeled in, still not fully comprehending the situation.

"Why?" I whispered.

That was the big question. Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? Why did I try to take my own life? Suddenly, nothing made sense anymore.

"Zex…ion," I managed to get out.

I swear I saw a flicker of life in his eyes when I said his name, but it must have been my imagination because nothing changed. He didn't wake up or anything.

"Poor kid," the nurse who was pushing him murmured. "Hate to have to see him back here again."

"Wait," I said, confused. "He's been here before? This has happened before?"

"Oh yes," the nurse replied. "Poor kid has been in and out of the hospital for a long time. Hasn't been right in the head since the accident."

"Accident?" I repeated softly, horrified.

The nurse nodded. "He lost his parents when he was ten in a car accident. Hasn't been the same since. Mentally unstable."

"I…never knew that."

"It's not something he really likes to talk about."

"You know him?"

The nurse shrugged. "I've dealt with him before."

"So you know Axel then, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, a little," the nurse answered slowly.

"Did he know? About Zexion?"

"I'm not sure how much Axel knows. He's always been so damn hard to read." The nurse sighed quietly. "Look kid, I'd like to stick around and talk more, but I have to finish my rounds. But if you want, I can come back in the morning and we can talk some more."

"Wait. Who…who are you?" I stammered as the nurse went to the door.

The nurse flashed a smile. "Paine. I'm Zex's older sister."

"His…?" I questioned, but it was useless; she was gone.

I didn't sleep much that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Zexion's unhappy face and it bothered me all night. I opened my eyes the next morning thinking it was just some fucked up dream, but then I saw Zexion laying peacefully on the side of the room Axel once occupied and realized that it wasn't a dream after all.

After breakfast, Paine came in not dressed in her nurse's uniform. It was strange, but I recognized her right away.

"Heya kid," she said. "How ya doing?"

I shrugged. "I've been better."

Paine chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, I hear you." She sat by my side. "So…"

"Are you really Zexion's sister?" I asked. "You don't really look like him."

"Yeah, I know. It's weird, but we are siblings. I haven't seen Zexion for…god…a good seven or eight years. Since before the accident."

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was really simple. They were driving in icy conditions, the car slid off the road, slammed into a tree. Both of them died right away. Zexion was fine, amazingly. Only got a couple cuts and bruises, but mentally, he was scarred. He's been unstable ever since, going in and out of the hospital for suicide attempts. He's been to the Psych Ward more than once, but it hasn't helped him. I thought having Axel around would help him but…"

"But his parents broke them up," I finished.

"How did you know that?" Paine stared at me.

"I talked to Zexion. He told me that he and Axel dated once. He didn't tell me why they broke up, but I was able to fill in the blanks," I replied.

"Well you're very perceptive. Yeah, they broke because of Axel's parents. And I'd hate to say it, but they broke Axel too. It was around the time he started becoming mentally unstable as well. I mean really unstable. He started burning himself instead of burning things. Zexion worried for him, but he was also worrying for himself. Do you understand what I mean?"

I did.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I know exactly what you mean."

"So Zexion has been really stressed out lately, worrying about Axel and himself." Paine sighed softly. "I hate seeing him like this."

"I'm confused," I confessed. "If your parents are dead and you haven't seen your brother in over seven years, who does he live with then?"

Paine smiled sadly. "He lives with Axel's brother."

I felt the breath leave me. "Axel has a brother?! I didn't know that! Why didn't he ever come when Axel was in the hospital?"

"Axel's parents are the reason Reno has been absent from his brother's life. Like me, Reno doesn't get along with his parents. Reno is so different from them. It's kind of funny. Axel is a lot like Reno. I think that's the reason they try and keep Reno away from him; they think he's a bad influence. Reno is…well he's difficult to describe."

"He must be really like Axel then," I muttered.

"Yeah." Paine smiled slightly.

"So why is Zexion living with Axel's brother? Unless he's Zexion's godfather."

"Bingo."

"But why? How did Axel's brother get to be Zexion's godfather?"

"It was quite accidental. The man who was supposed to be Zexion's godfather didn't show up so Reno stepped in and became his godfather. My parents weren't planning on having Reno be Zexion's godfather forever but they never got around to changing it. So after they died, he went to live with Reno."

"But what about you?" I asked. "You're his sister, aren't you? Wouldn't he go and live with your or some other family member?"

"We don't have any other living family member. And as for me, it was ruled by the court that I was unfit to take care of my brother because I…" Paine sighed softly. "I have a girlfriend."

The surprises never cease. I stared at Paine for several minutes, but I could see it. She could be a lesbian.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "That is totally unfair."

"I know," Paine replied. "There's nothing I can do about it. Zexion remains in Reno's care. Speaking of, that stupid redhead should be here by now."

"Who're you callin' stupid?" a man drawled.

I stared as a tall, thin man swept into the room wearing a pair of black pants and a white shirt with a jacket over it. The jacket was unzipped and his shirt was untucked. Long unkempt red hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. He was an older version of Axel, around twenty eight or so.

The man chuckled when he saw me staring.

"You must be Roxas," he said.

"Yes. How…how do you know?"

Reno chuckled more. "I've heard about you through Zexion."

"Oh. Y...yeah."

Reno's face suddenly turned serious as he turned toward Zexion.

"How is he?" he asked.

"No change." Paine shook her head.

"Damn," Reno cursed softly. "First Axel and now him." He shook his head. His pager went off. "Excuse me."

He hurriedly exited the room. I stared after him. The guy was freaking bipolar! One minute he's laughing and the next he's stony faced.

What the hell? After a few moments, Reno came back in.

"Sorry, I've gotta go," he said. "Duty calls."

"Go on Reno. I'll stay with him," Paine said softly.

Reno smiled at me. "Nice to meet you Roxas."

"Y…you too," I stammered.

Making people nervous must have run in the family. Not only did Axel make me nervous, but his parents did as well. I did still see them from time to time when Axel was still here.

I stared after Reno. He was so freaking weird! The whole family was.

Paine smiled at my reaction. "He's a wild card, isn't he? And he's supposedly the 'normal' one of the family."

"That's considered normal?" I asked.

"Well, compared to Axel and their parents…"

"Point taken," I muttered. "What does he do for a living?"

"He works for Shin-Ra," Payne answered.

"He…?" I breathed.

"I know it may not look like it, but he's actually a top member."

Shin-Ra Electric Power Company. Not only do those guys deal with power, but they also have control of the police department. Don't ask me how it works. I never really paid attention to that.

"I can't believe it," I finally said.

"I know. It's weird. Actually, that's another reason why Axel's parents don't let him see him. They don't exactly think highly of Shin-Ra."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. Reno is a halfway decent guy. Unlike some of the sleaze-balls there. Actually, I'm kind of surprised Reno has continued working at Shin-Ra. He's not really the type of guy to tolerate someone as sleazy as Rufus. Oh well. I'm sure you'll see more of Reno around."

I didn't know what else to say. Payne finally left and my brother came in for another visit after lunch. The rest of the day passed by fast. Reno came back in later and stayed until visiting hours were over. But Zexion never moved an inch.

It took me a while before I actually got the courage to ask Reno about Zexion.

"What would you like to know about him?" Reno asked.

"How long has he been trying to kill himself?"

Reno sighed softly. "Ever since the accident when he was ten. He's been in and out of the hospital several times. He's visited the Psych Ward a couple times. I've tried to get him the help he needs, but it hasn't worked. I'm at my wits end."

"What are you going to do now?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." Reno shook his head. "I don't know what else there is to do."

"Reno?" a soft, tired voice asked.

Reno and I turned. It was Zexion. He was awake at last, staring dazedly at the ceiling.

"What…happened?" Zexion asked.

"You're at the hospital," Reno answered rather harshly. "Don't you remember? Don't you remember what you tried to do?" Zexion shook his head. "You poisoned yourself. You almost died."

"I should have," Zexion muttered.

Reno rose angrily. "Don't say that! Don't ever say that again! First I almost lost Axel and now you!" Reno inhaled sharply. "I couldn't even see him. When he was in the hospital, they wouldn't even let me see him once."

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry," Zexion whispered. "All I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Axel…I hurt you…"

"Don't say that," Reno said impatiently. "If it's anyone's fault, it's my parents. I have such a fucked up family. I'm sorry you had to get involved Zex."

Zexion shrugged. "I'm as fucked up as you guys. It fits."

"Make that three of us," I said grimly.

Reno chuckled weakly.

"Does it ever get any better?" I asked. "I mean, god, I can't control my negative thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything positive."

Zexion looked like he wanted to say yes, but hesitated.

"I don't know kid," Reno answered sadly. "I just…I can't answer that. Only you can."

I nodded. He was right.

To be continued…

A/N: So how many of you were expecting those twists? To be honest, I didn't know until I started writing out the chapter. As I was going along, I was like, "whoa. Yeah, that's a good thing to add in" and it just kept happening over and over again. I couldn't help bringing Reno in. He's a great character. And yes, I bought Shin-Ra in as well. I kinda had to. But don't worry. They won't have a prominent role in this. Just Reno. Maybe. I don't know. Can't believe I managed to finish this in a day. I should really study for my Lit final. But I don't wanna.


	15. Chapter 15 Reno Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: God, I'm so sorry for abandoning this for so long! I started writing this chapter out on a legal pad and I got about two pages done, but then the first page got detached and I lost it! I lost my motivation to work on it for so long. Then I decided to concentrate on Identity so this got neglected. It didn't help that the first page is gone. So now I have to rewrite it. –cries out in frustration—

Chapter 15 Reno

_I fucking hate my parents._

_They are seriously the worst parents in history. They never should have been parents in the first place. Yeah, they're that bad. I was the result of a fling in college that led them to get married. Both of them came from old-fashioned families so the only choice they had was to get married. Despite my strict upbringing, I was a wild child. My parents tried everything they could, but I was unbreakable. Finally, they gave up on me and even though they never really wanted kids in the first place, they decided to try for another. They struggled for so long. _

_I was eleven when Axel came along. He was adored and loved. He was everything my parents hoped I would be but never got. I was jealous of him, very jealous. I resented my baby brother and refused to have anyting to do with him, which suited my parents just fine._

_Then Axel turned two._

_He entered what people called "the terrible twos" but for him, "terrible twos" was a gross understatement. I grew really attached to him after I learned how destructive he could be. My parents forced me to baby-sit him more than once and over time, I got attached to the little bugger.I was thirteen, by the way._

_Not only did my parents have to deal with a terrorizing two year-old, they also had to deal with a moody, hormonal male teenager. Boy did I raise hell. Axel and I were great together. _

_Which is why my parents felt they had to intervene. After Axel got out of his "terrible-twos" stage, they thought he'd calm down again, but he didn't. They blamed me for corrupting Axel and causing him to turn rebellious. I was sent away to live with some distant relatives and they got rid of all traces of me. They made it so I never even existed. Axel was too little to understand. I never expected him to understand._

_He doesn't even know he has a brother._

_It tortured me so much to live with the knowledge that I could never see my little brother again. See, my parents are very rich and powerful, so they pulled a bunch of strings, and made it so I can't legally visit my brother. I can't even tell him who I really am._

_There's one thing though._

_Axel's best friend is my godson._

_It's a funny story, actually. It all began after I had graduated from high school. I lived a normal life with the distant relatives I was living with and I had even grown up and stopped acting like a wild child._

_Anyway, I graduated high school and started my training for Shin-Ra Power Electric Company. It's a long story how that came about. My parents had been with this other family for ages and they had a son my brother's age named Zexion. Of course, he and Axel became best friends._

_For whatever reason, Zexion wasn't baptized until he was seven. The man who was supposed to be Zexion's godfather didn't show up so in a pinch, they grabbed me with every intention of changing it later, which never happened. Three years later, Zexion's parents were killed in a car accident so he came to live with me. Another fluke. He only had one living relative: his sister Paine, but she was ruled unfit to raise Zexion so I got him instead. It's not that I'm not happy, it's just that…well I'm not so great with kids._

_All of a sudden, I had to provide for a ten year-old kid who had been traumatized by the death of his parents. Yeah, this was going to be fun. Zexion was a good kid, except that he kept trying to, you know, off himself. That was a problem. _

_The other thing I had to deal with besides my suicidal godkid was that Axel was now back in my life. Yeah, there was a long legal battle over that one. Finally, the judge decided, much to the dismay of my parents, that as long as I didn't tell Axel who I was, I could at least see him. Even so, I tried to keep my distance from him. I knew that if I tried to get involved with him, it would end up hurting me so much more._

_There was another thing that made my life so very difficult. Zexion somehow found out the truth that Axel was my brother. To this day, I don't have any idea how he found this out. He certainly was smart, I'll give him that. At first, when he confronted me, I denied it, but he was not convinced._

"_Reno, don't lie to me," he said crossly. "I'm not dumb. It's not hard to see the resemblance between you and Axel. I've seen the way you act around him. He's your brother. You want to get closer to him, but at the same time you don't because you're afraid it'll hurt you even more."_

_I stared at him, amazed. He was incredibly intelligent, had superb analytical skills, and could see right through my denials. It was kinda creepy to know an eleven year-old who could do this._

_I had to smile. "You know, you're pretty smart." Zexion did not say anything but I could see a faint hint of color rising in his insanely pale cheeks. "You're right. Axel is my brother. But you can't tell him, okay? You can't tell anyone."_

"_Why not?" Zexion asked curiously._

"_Because…" I hesitated before launching into a watered-down explanation someone of his age would understand._

_He seemed to get it though, because he nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, that makes sense. A lot of things make sense now." He seemed to be talking more to himself now. Then, he looked up at me. "Reno, I'm going to tell you something, something I've never told anyone else before, okay?"_

"_Okay…" I was confused and a bit nervous about what Zexion wanted to tell me._

_Zexion looked like he was trying to steady himself. "I'm scared Reno. Really scared."_

_It wasn't what I was expecting. I blinked. "Huh?"_

"_I'm really scared," Zexion repeated._

_I could see that he was getting distressed, which was something that happened with him quite a bit. He gets himself worked up about things and will sometimes even go into a full-fledged panic attack._

"_Relax Zexion," I said soothingly._

_Thank god Zexion's therapist gave me some tools to help calm him down whenever he has a panic attack._

_After a few minutes, Zexion had calmed back down._

"_Now…what were you trying to tell me?" I said._

_Zexion took in a deep shuddering breath. "I'm scared. About Axel."_

"_Axel?" I asked, confused. "Why?"_

"_For as long as I've known him, he's acted strange," Zexion began. "He has some really weird behavior that's definitely not normal."_

"_Like what?" I frowned._

"_He likes to burn things. Whatever he can get his hands on." Zexion was speaking rapidly now. He was on a roll. "He…he's always been disobedient. Wild."_

"_Have you told anyone else about this?" I interrupted. "Tried to get him some help?"_

"_His parents tried therapy and a bunch of other things, but it didn't help at all," Zexion answered. "There's something else too." Zexion looked really scared now. "If you try and grab his arm, he'll lose control."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked._

"_He just goes crazy. He becomes incredibly violent and screams incoherently."_

"_Do…?" I started._

"_They know. They've seen his outbreaks, but they haven't done anything useful about it," Zexion replied coolly. _

"_I see." I thought for a few moments. "Well, I'll keep my eye on him and if it looks really bad, we'll get our own help, okay?"_

"_Okay." Zexion nodded._

_As I promised, I kept my eye on Axel, whenever he came to the apartment Zexion and I shared. Zexion being the sneaky bastard he is, managed to convince Axel to come over quite often. I saw right away what Zexion meant; there was just something not right with Axel. It was hard to say why; half the time, he acted completely normal. But there were times when it was fairly obvious that there was something wrong with him. Over the years, it seemed to get worse and worse._

_Meanwhile, Zexion's mental health was on a steady decline. He tried to kill himself a couple times and was in and out of the hospital. He even spent some time in the Psychiatric Ward. By the time he was about to start high school, he had stabilized and was able to live quite normally. During that time was when Axel met and started dating the bitch known as Larxene. That relationship was mercifully short; Larxene was controlling and abusive (physically, mentally, verbally, and sexually) and Axel wouldn't stand for it._

_After that, I got a huge surprise when Axel and Zexion started dating. I wasn't against it or anything; I'm totally fine with two guys having a relationship and shit, I just wasn't expecting Axel and Zexion to date. They were quite opposite when it came to their personalities. One would think they would be enemies, but they had always gotten along well. I didn't mind the relationship at all. They were happy. I think the happiest I ever saw Zexion was when he was dating Axel._

_Needless to say, my parents didn't approve and broke them up. It hurt both of them so much. It was so painful to watch. Something finally shattered within Axel. He had been threatening to break for some time, but after his parents broke Zexion and him up, he finally broke. He wasn't the same after that. It was clear that Zexion was extremely stressed—he was worried not only about himself, but also about Axel's rapidly declining mental health._

_Finally, when he was seventeen, Axel started a fire in his room and got burned really bad. If Zexion hadn't been there and had been brave enough to intervene, Axel wouldn't have made it. Axel ended up in the hospital and I wasn't allowed to visit him. It was torture for me, absolute torture. I had to rely on Zexion to give me updates on Axel's condition. It was the worst feeling in the world._

_Axel hung in there and started getting better physically, although his mental health was barely intact. He was given a full psychological evaluation and it was determined that he needed to be admitted into the Psychiatric Ward as soon as possible because it was clear that whatever the hell was going on with him, it was serious. _

_Things went smoothly for a while and then Axel got a roommate, Roxas. I learned about all this through Zexion, although he was very reluctant to talk about it._

"_Tell me about Roxas," I persisted after learning that Axel had gotten a roommate._

"_He's really quiet," Zexion said. "He doesn't talk very much although Axel can get him to open up. I'm not surprised, though. Axel has always been like that. He can get anyone to open up even if they don't want to."_

"_How did he try to kill himself?" I asked._

"_He jumped off the clock tower in town," Zexion answered._

"_Yeesh," I muttered. "Family?"_

"_Parents who treat him badly, a gay twin brother named Sora, and godparents who are a gay couple. They act as Roxas's guardians since his parents don't really seem to care about him that much."_

"_What's your assessment of the situation?" I wanted to know._

"_Roxas has a couple friends he's close with, his brother cares for him a lot, as do his godparents. The only problem is his parents. They've treated him cruelly for all his life so he's trying to win their approval by trying to disappear." Zexion's expression was sad. _

"_What about Axel? What does he think of Roxas?" This interested me the most._

"_Axel seems to have taken a liking to him. As I said before, he's gotten Roxas to open up where others can't. I think…" Zexion hesitated. "I think Roxas will be the one to heal Axel."_

_Zexion wouldn't ever admit it, but it hurt him to see Axel being healed by Roxas. I knew that deep down, Zexion still loved Axel. It hurt him because he wanted to be the one to heal Axel, only he wasn't able to. He fell deeper and deeper into a depression. _

_Finally, he tried to kill himself and ended up in the hospital. Ironically, he ended up as Roxas's roommate because Axel had been moved to the Psychiatric Ward. That meant I got to meet him for myself._

I remember the first time I saw Roxas. I had gotten a call at work and they told me that Zexion was in the hospital after an attempted suicide. I didn't like leaving Zexion home alone so I had arranged for our neighbor Yuna to go and check on him from time to time and that was how she had discovered Zexion on the bathroom floor. He had tried to poison himself. I didn't bother finding out all the grisly details.

They wouldn't even let me see him until the next morning. Stupid fucking hospital rules. I had to report to work first and as soon as I had explained everything to my boss Rufus, he let me go up to the hospital to see him. Rufus already knew that I was the caretaker of a suicidal teenager so he was used to me having to go up to the hospital.

After getting some directions from a nurse (I got lost, okay? That hospital is friggin' huge!), I approached Zexion's room. I heard voices, one male, and one female. The boy's voice was strange to m, but I recognized the woman's voice as Paine's. Remember her? Zexion's older lesbian sister (that was why she wasn't allowed to take care of Zexion, because the courts are fucked up like that). She's a nurse at the hospital so that was how I learned that Roxas was Zexion's new roommate. Anyway, I stood outside the door unnoticed for a while, listening into the conversation she was having with whom I assumed was Roxas.

"I know," she said. "There's nothing I can do about it. Zexion remains in Reno's care. Speaking of, that stupid redhead should be here by now."

Don't be fooled. Paine and I have a long history and we tease each other all the time. Our families have been friends for ages, after all.

I took that opportunity to make my presence known.

"Who're you callin' stupid?" I asked, stepping into the hospital room.

I winced a little; I hated hospital rooms. I hated hospitals in general. This was one of the typical hospital rooms with two beds with curtains around them, medical equipment, and the smell of rubbing alcohol, bandages, and cleaning products.

In the left bed was my godson, sleeping peacefully. A breathing mask was placed over his nose and mouth, he was deathly pale, and there was an IV in his small arm, but other than that, he didn't look bad. I looked over at the other bed.

A blond haired boy was sitting up, propped up by several large pillows, looking at me curiously. He was a couple years younger than my brother and Zexion. I could see right away how Axel could fall for someone like him—he was incredibly cute. Long blond hair stood up in messy spikes, sometimes falling into his eyes. His eyes. Oh my god. They were stunning, a light shade of blue I had never seen before. They appeared to be on fire. His face was still smooth and boyish, though I could see how his facial features had hardened from his stint in the hospital.

He wore a standard hospital gown and his arm was in a sling though there wasn't a cast. I had heard from Zexion that he had broken his arm but it was on the mend. He had even had his cast removed while still in the hospital. They just kept it in a sling to keep it still because his shoulder, which had been dislocated, wasn't fully healed yet. It was very close though. That was how long he had been staying in the hospital. He wasn't being supported by oxygen and he didn't have an IV in his arm. Besides the fact that he had his arm in a sling and he was a bit on the thin side, he looked like he didn't belong in the hospital. Yet looks were deceiving.

He was staring at me, his mouth hanging slightly open. I chuckled at his reaction.

"You must be Roxas," I said.

He looked astonished. "Yes. How…how do you know?"

I chuckled even more. "I've heard a lot about you through Zexion."

"Oh. Y…yeah," Roxas stammered. He got flustered quite easily. I turned back to Zexion, all business now. "How is he?"

"No change," Paine said from Roxas's side.

"Damn," I muttered. "First Axel and now him." My pager chose the most unfortunate time to go off. I swore under my breath. Why now, of all times?! "Excuse me."

I went out in the hall and found a nearby pay phone. I called Shin-Ra's number.

"Hey, it's me," I said in a low voice when my partner Rude answered. "You have terrible timing, you know."

"I'm sorry Reno," Rude apologized. "I know this is not a good time for you. Believe me, I would not be calling you in but I have no other choice. One of the reactors is malfunctioning and unless we get it back up soon, half the city will lose power."

"Aw," I groaned. There was no way in hell I could ignore this. "Fine. I'll be there as soon s I can."

"Thank you," Rude said softly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I hung up and went back to Zexion's room. "Sorry, I've gotta go."

Luckily, Paine understood my dilemma. "Go on Reno. I'll stay with him."

I smiled over at Roxas. "Nice to meet you, Roxas."

"Y…you too," Roxas stammered.

That was the first time I met Roxas.

I came back as much as possible to be with Zexion, who had not woken up yet. Roxas was very shy. I could tell that he wanted to talk to me, but he was too shy to work up the courage to. It took him a while before he could talk to me.

"Reno, can you tell me about Zexion?" he asked me one day.

"What would you like to know/" I tried to sound unintimidating.

I didn't want to scare the poor boy even more. I could tell that he was afraid of me. I intimidated him. I have that effect on people.

"How long has he been trying to kill himself?"

I sighed softly. "Ever since the accident when he was ten. He's been in and out of the hospital several times. He's visited the Psych Ward a couple times. I've tried to get him the help he needs, but it hasn't worked. I'm at my wits end."

"What are you going to do now?" Roxas asked.

"I don't know," I answered weakly. I shook my head. "I don't know what else there is to do."

"Reno?" a voice asked.

It was exhausted and weak, full of pain. I turned along with Roxas. To both our surprise, Zexion had finally woken up, his eyes trying to focus on something, which just happened to be the ceiling.

"What happened?" he asked with much difficulty, looking over at me.

"You're at the hospital," I answered a little more harshly than I'd intended.

But I was so fucking sick of this. I was sick of getting the call informing me that Zexion had been taken to the hospital for an attempted suicide or making the call for an ambulance to take him for the hospital because I had discovered that he had tried to drown himself and was laying senseless in the bathroom. I was so fucking sick of worrying, of getting this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because this could be the time Zexion succeeded in killing himself. I was sick of worrying that I might have to bury Zexion, something no parent ever wants to do. Because I had become Zexion's parent. He was my son. I loved him.

"Don't you remember?" I continued to Zexion. "Don't you remember what you tried to do?" Zexion shook his head. "You poisoned yourself. You almost died."

"I should have," Zexion muttered.

That did it. My rage boiled over. I rose angrily. "Don't say that! Don't ever say that again!" I was shouting but I didn't care anymore. "First I almost lost Axel and now you!" I inhaled sharply, trying so hard to not cry. Fuck, I was losing it. "I couldn't even see him. When he was in the hospital. They wouldn't even let me see him once." My voice cracked slightly.

There was a pause. Paine rose to intercept the nurses who were hurrying in, attracted by my shouts. It took some convincing, but they finally left.

"I'm sorry," Zexion whispered. "All I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Axel…I hurt you…"

"Don't say that," I cut him off. "If it's anyone's fault, it's my parents. I have such a fucked up family." I shook my head. "I'm sorry you had to get involved."

Zexion shrugged off the apology. "I'm as fucked up as you guys. It fits."

"Make that two of us," Roxas muttered.

I chuckled weakly.

"Does it ever get any better?" Roxas asked, looking at me. "I mean, god, I can't control my negative thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything positive." He looked like he wanted to cry.

I said the first thing that came to my mind. "I don't know kid. I just…I can't answer that. Only you can."

Roxas seemed to agree.

---------------------------------------------------

Instead of getting better, Zexion only seemed to be getting worse. He quit talking one day, which baffled the doctors. Now he never says a word. Roxas and I talked quite a bit more. He already knew that I was Axel's brother because Paine had told him that, but he didn't know that it was a secret so I filled him in on that little bit. He seemed to understand and promised to keep my secret. I hated having to have him get involved too, but I had no choice. He had become involved with Axel and he deserved to know the truth. But I trusted him to keep the secret.

A psychiatric evaluation was done for Zexion and they determined that he had to be admitted to the Psychiatric Ward. They also decided that Roxas had to be moved there as well. I immediately gave my consent to have Zexion moved. Even though it hadn't worked before, I was out of options. This was my last resort. Zexion was obviously too dangerous to stay in the outside world because he kept trying to hurt himself. So the only choice I had left was to send him back to the Psychiatric Ward and hope that they were able to help him and this time it was for good.

To be continued…

A/N: How's that for some back story? Now you know why Axel said he was an only child a couple chapters back. He doesn't remember Reno at all. Speaking of Reno, I hope I did okay with his character. –winces—

I'm sorry about the lack of dialogue in this chapter. It was painful to write because I'm used to writing a lot of dialogue, but I really couldn't fit it in. This chapter would be insanely long if I had expanded on every scene. So I just picked out the most important ones and threw in some dialogue to counter all the explaining. I'm sorry!!! I hope this chapter wasn't too horrible to read. Holy crap, this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I had originally thought. Let me know if you see any typos. I went back and proofread this, but I always seem to miss a ton of typos and other miscellaneous grammatical errors.


	16. Chapter 16 Axel Revised

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II, no matter how much I want to. I'm just borrowing them.

A/N: This was originally supposed to be Chapter 15, but I decided that I needed to tie things together first and add some back story. I also needed to explain why Axel didn't know Reno was his brother and I obviously couldn't do that from Axel's POV so I decided that I needed to add another chapter in from someone else's POV and who better than Reno? So that's what happened.

Chapter 16 Axel

Oh. My. God. That's all I can say. I thought I had seen everything, heard everything, experienced everything, but I was wrong. This can't be real. God, I can't believe this is real. This is a dream, right? Eventually I'll face the facts and realize this is real, all of it. But I still can't believe it.

Everything started out normally enough. Got up, got dressed, went with Demyx to breakfast, had a class, went to group therapy, and then went to lunch.

And then I found out. There were two new transfers coming in, both suicide attempts. We would meet them after lunch. Demyx was nervous, understandably so. I was too, to tell you the truth. After lunch, they herded us back to the gathering room to meet the two new transfers. There was a lot of nervous energy in the air. Demyx struck close to me, which I didn't mind. I was scared too. Finally, we heard soft voices. Then the new transfers entered with their nurses. My eyes widened.

"Fuck," I whispered, recognizing them at once. "Holy fuck."

I couldn't believe it. The next thing I knew, I was laying stretched out on the ground with Hannah and several others crowded around me.

"He's awake!" Hannah announced.

They moved back as I sat up. My head felt incredibly light.

"Are you okay?" a quiet voice to my left asked.

I looked up into the face of a very familiar blond. A blond that I had been making out with before.

"Rox…as?" I managed to get out. My throat felt like it was stuck together. "What…what are you doing here?"

"I got transferred in," Roxas answered quietly.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah." Roxas nodded. "And he did too." He motioned to the boy next to him, looking at me warily through a curtain of silvery hair.

He was definitely a lot thinner than he had been when I had last seen him. I couldn't remember how long ago that was. It seemed like it had been an eternity since the last time I had seen him. The rational part of my brain told me that it was impossible for an eternity to have passed, but it certainly felt that way.

He looked so thin and worn, so much like a fragile doll. It was the only comparison I could really make. You know, one of those china dolls you see at the store that if you touch them even once they break? Yeah, that was what I was seeing. Zexion nodded at me in greeting.

"He not talking?" I asked Roxas.

Roxas nodded. "He's not as bad as I am. I can still talk…for the most part. But there are times when I just…freeze up. I can't talk. Zexion stopped talking after a while and he hasn't been able to say a word since."

"I see." I didn't know what else to say.

"Axel, you know them?" Demyx asked from my other side.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Let me introduce you. This is Roxas, my old roommate from when I was still in the regular hospital." I pointed at Roxas. "And this guy is my best friend, Zexion." I pointed at Zexion.

"Hi," Demyx said politely.

Roxas returned the greeting but Zexion just nodded at Demyx in greeting.

"He can't talk," I explained at a whisper.

"Is he a mute or something?" Demyx asked curiously.

"For now I guess. He hasn't been like this all the time. I mean, he hasn't always been mute. I've heard him talk."

I've heard him do much more than that, but I won't go there. That's rather private, if you get my drift. The truth is, I'm not surprised that Zexion is here. I can't act surprised because I knew it would happen. Remember the china doll analogy I used earlier? Yeah, the same analogy can be used for his mind as well. He's been depressed since he was ten. I've known him for as long as I can remember, which isn't far, but whatever. My parents have said that I've been friends with Zexion since we were in diapers. Our two families have been friends for eons. I've seen him slowly break down over the years. He's broken down before, but those breakdowns haven't been as strong. I can't be surprised he's here.

Demyx nodded at what I had said and seemed to understand.

"Come on. Let's go sit down somewhere. I'm sure you and Roxas have a lot to catch up on," he said.

The four of us sat in the corner Demyx and I usually occupied. Demyx took out his guitar and started composing, like usual. Zexion found a book to read. I turned my attention to Roxas.

"I can't believe you're here," I said in a low voice. "It's just kind of weird that you and Zexion happened to be transferred here at the same time."

"So you aren't surprised that Zexion tried to kill himself?" Roxas asked.

"No," I answered truthfully. "It isn't the first time he's tried to kill himself. He's been doing that since the accident." I stopped for a moment. "Wait. Do you even know about that?"

"Yeah," Roxas responded, surprising me. "Reno helped fill me in."

"Reno…" I murmured, repeating the name Roxas had just mentioned. "Zexion's godfather."

"Yes." Roxas was frowning for some reason.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong," Roxas replied in an offhand tone that didn't make me believe him.

I dropped it though because that was the best thing to do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I saw the man named Reno, the man I remembered as Zexion's godfather. He was tall and skinny, a man around thirty. The most distinguishing features I remembered about him were his hair and his eyes. Long unkempt hair swept back into a messy ponytail, hair bright red exactly like mine. I had never met anyone with hair quite as red as mine until I met Reno. His eyes were also very distinguishing; they weren't green like mine but icy blue. But although the color was cold, they were really kind. I remember he was really kind. He bore a striking resemblance to me and I didn't know why. The man fascinated me. _

_He appeared outside my memories of him and Zexion in a different place and time. There was a lot of shouting and angry words being exchanged between him and my parents. It was a younger version of Reno, but I was absolutely sure that it was still Reno. They shouted and shouted, but I didn't understand what they were saying. Why didn't I understand? There were a lot of tears shed and a lot of pain. I couldn't understand what was being said, but I could still understand the feelings that were being expressed. Then, Reno was gone. All of a sudden, it was like he was erased from existence. _

"_I'm sorry," he whispered before he was gone forever._

_There were flashes of light and distorted voices. I could only see bits and pieces of things, images going by so quickly my brain couldn't comprehend what they were. I screamed. Someone was calling my name, touching my chest. I only screamed more. They were going to hurt me! I didn't want to die! It felt like I was in so much pain. _

I opened my eyes with a loud scream. My breaths came in pants. The overhead lights had been switched on at some point and Demyx stood by my bed, terror written across his face. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself down. The door burst open and Aerith and Hannah rushed in.

"What's going on?" Hannah wanted to know.

I didn't answer. My entire body was trembling and I could feel the blood pounding in my ears. Wait, I had felt this before. There was a tingling sensation followed by numbness. Then, everything went dark.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For a long time, all I could see was pitch black. I couldn't feel anything at all. My entire body was numb. I could barely breathe. It felt like there was something extremely heavy being pressed against my chest, restricting the air flow to my lungs.

All I could do was lay there and hope that the feeling disappeared, or rather, until feeling came back into my body. Finally, I became aware of different sensations, the first being pain. An intense pain shot across my temples and there was a soreness in my mouth. I could taste a rough, iron taste in my mouth. My brain couldn't tell me what it was, only that it was familiar.

I could start to feel things; a soft, cool, slightly stiff material underneath me, plastic on my face, and a needle in my arm. I could hear a machine beeping softly in the background and regular even breathing. I could also hear erratic breathing on the other side of the room.

My sight was the last thing to return to me. It didn't come back all at once, though. First, the absolute blackness turned to grey and then went to white. Finally, colors started coming back, first in large blurs before focusing into sharp images. I first stared at the ceiling before turning my head to the side. I was being watched by Hannah, Aerith, and Demyx. Hannah and Aerith looked incredibly worried. Demyx was crying softly. When he saw that I was awake, he gasped softly.

"D…emyx?" I croaked.

"Oh Axel! I was so scared!" Demyx cried.

"What…happened?" I asked.

"You had a seizure," Aerith supplied softly.

"You terrified me!" Demyx started crying again. "I had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden your eyes rolled into the back of your head and then your body started jerking uncontrollably. Then blood started running down your chin."

"You bit your tongue," Aerith explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean to scare you."

After a few minutes, Demyx stopped crying and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Hannah stepped forward and checked the machines I was apparently attached to. "Your vital signs have stabilized. That's good. They were all out of whack earlier. How do you feel?"

"I'm a bit disoriented," I admitted. "I've felt this before though. It'll go away."

"Right," Hannah mumbled. "I'm going to go and get the doctor and let him know that you've woken up."

She left.

"There's a doctor here?" I asked, frowning.

"Oh yes," Aerith answered with a smile. "His name is Dr. Xemnas."

A few minutes later, Hannah returned with a tall man behind her. She stepped to the side. I stared; the man was insanely creepy. He had long silver hair and bronze (yes, _bronze_) eyes. He had this look on his face like he wanted to molest little boys. He gave me a very bad feeling.

"Ah Axel," he said, stepping forward with this creepy smile on his face. "It's good to see you awake."

"Y…yeah," I stammered.

Dr. Xemnas did a quick examination. He helped me to slowly sit up and shone a light in my eyes.

"Can you try and stand for me?" he asked.

"I'll try. I'm not sure how steady I am yet. I'm always a bit shaky after I have a seizure. Actually, I can't say 'always' because this is only my second seizure," I replied.

I swung my legs around the side of the bed and stood up. My legs felt incredibly shaky, but after a few minutes, I adjusted. Dr. Xemnas had me walk across the room even though I was hooked up to several machines and an IV and watched my progress.

"Your reflexes are normal," he commented after I had sat back down again. "It doesn't look like there was any neurological impact after the seizure."

"So does that mean I can be unhooked from all this stuff?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, it does." Dr. Xemnas smiled at me.

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. I hated that stuff so much, especially the IV. Fucking needles.

Dr. Xemnas said goodbye and left. Hannah stepped forward and started switching off the machines and unhooked me from them. The last thing she did was take out my IV. Even though she was careful, it still hurt really bad. I couldn't help wincing.

"Sorry," Hannah murmured, noticing my discomfort as she slowly slid the needle out. "I know it hurts. Just a little longer, okay? It's almost out."

"Oww," I muttered as the stupid thing finally came out and Hannah pressed a square of gauze to the little hole the needle had made.

I already knew the drill. I pressed the gauze against the crook of my arm until it stopped bleeding.

The next morning, I went to see Ansem right after breakfast.

"Axel, I have cleared my schedule for the day so we can meet and discuss what happened," Ansem said gravely as soon as I stepped into his office.

I nodded and sat in my usual chair.

"So…" Ansem began as soon as I was settled. "You had another seizure?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Right before the seizure, I had a nightmare."

"Oh?" Ansem asked, his eyebrows raised.

I took a deep breath. "It was weird. Like really really weird. I saw Reno."

"Reno?" Ansem frowned.

"He's Zexion's godfather," I explained.

"Yes." It didn't surprise me that Ansem knew. After all, he was now treating Zexion so he had access to all of Zexion's personal information so he knew who Reno was.

"Anyway, I saw him first as I remembered him, but then he sort of…shifted to a younger version. I'm absolutely sure it was him, just younger," I said.

"How old was Reno in your dream?" Ansem interrupted.

I frowned, trying to remember. "He was a teenager. About thirteen or so."

Ansem made a note. "Then what happened?"

"My parents appeared. It was random. They started arguing about something. I don't know what it was. I couldn't understand anything they were saying. The words all sort of blurred together. But…" I stopped for a moment. Ansem looked at me interestedly. "I could still understand the emotions they were feeling. There was a lot of anger and pain. And there were a lot of tears too."

"Interesting," Ansem murmured.

"After that, I only saw flashes of things. I don't remember any of what I saw because the images went by too fast. The same thing was true for whatever was being said. I felt a lot of pain so I started screaming. I wasn't really in pain but it sure as hell felt like it. Then I woke up to Demyx trying to get me up. I tried to calm myself down, but I started feeling the same thing I felt before I had a seizure the first time. Then I had the seizure."

"What did you feel that made you aware that you were about to have a seizure?" Ansem asked.

"First I just didn't feel quite right. I wasn't exactly sure at first, but as the other symptoms came, I began to recognize the feelings."

"What were the other symptoms?" Ansem questioned.

"There was a tingling sensation, followed by numbness," I recited, remembering it quite well. "Then everything went dark. The next thing I knew, I was hooked up to all these machines."

"I see," Ansem murmured.

"Why the hell is this happening to me?" I burst out, unable to contain myself any longer.

Ansem studied me carefully. "Axel, I believe there's some part of your memory that's being repressed and it involves this man named Reno. Do you remember what Reno looks like?" I nodded. "Can you draw him for me?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

Ansem got up and brought over a blank tablet and a pencil. He set it on a table in the middle and indicated for me to sit at the place he had set. I got to my feet and headed for the table. I sat in the chair the tablet had been set in front of and picked up the pencil next to the tablet. Ansem sat in front of me with his tablet.

"So…while you're drawing, can you tell me about Reno?" he asked. "What you know about him."

"All right." I nodded. "I know Reno. Reno is Zexion's godfather. He works for Shin-Ra Electric Power Company. He's twenty eight I think. He used to date, but he stopped bringing home women after he adopted Zexion. I saw him a lot because I went over to Zexion's apartment quite a bit. I guess if you want to be exact, it was Reno's apartment. Zexion lost his parents when he was ten in a car accident and his sister Paine was ruled unfit to raise Zexion and they don't have any other living relatives to care for him, so that's how Reno got custody of him. I had always been best friends with Zexion since we were kids so I watched all this happen. That's how I met Reno. I noticed from the beginning that Reno had a striking resemblance to me, but I never really questioned why. I guess I felt like I didn't really need to because I didn't think I would get an answer."

"From your parents?" Ansem asked.

"From anyone. Reno didn't seem to like me too much. He always kept his distance from me," I replied.

"Has Reno appeared in your dreams often?" Ansem asked.

"Yes, he does," I admitted.

"Do you remember the dreams at all?" Ansem asked.

"Somewhat," I replied. "I can remember bits and pieces of them."

"How long have these dreams been occurring?"

"Since I was a kid."

"How often do the dreams occur?"

"I…I don't know," I said uneasily.

"It's okay." Ansem's voice was soothing. "Now, can you remember how Reno appears in your dreams? Does he always look the same?"

I tried to remember. "He was always the same. He never looked any different."

"Can you estimate how old he is?" Ansem was writing furiously to keep up with me.

"He's the same as he was when I had the most recent dream, about thirteen or so. A tall, gangly teenager. His age never changes."

"And your parents? How often are they in the dream?" Ansem asked.

"They're usually there," I replied. "They aren't happy at all. They're never happy. And neither is Reno. They're always yelling at each other."

"I see."

I finished the drawing and looked at it.

"May I see?" Ansem questioned. I pushed the tablet toward him. He looked down. "Well, I must say you're quite a good artist."

"I'm not that good," I protested.

"You should give yourself more credit. It's a very good drawing," Ansem insisted.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Are you up for doing more drawing?" Ansem asked.

"Sure." I nodded. Ansem took my drawing of Reno off the top and passed the tablet back to me. "What do you want me to draw?"

"If you could, I'd like you to draw some of the things you saw in your dreams. You don't have to put it all on one tablet. You can make more than one drawing, if you wish."

"All right," I said.

I started drawing Reno first. His unhappy face could never be erased from my mind.

"Can I have some crayons? I think it would really help if I drew this in color," I said.

"Yes, I agree. Colors can help reveal things. Hang on, I'll get you some crayons."

Ansem got up and fetched me a box of crayons. They were all dull, but they were going to be useful anyway. I added color to Reno's face, blue like the ocean to his eyes, and fiery red to his hair. Next I drew my parents, not as I remembered them, but as I saw them in my dreams. There's a difference. I just have a really hard time explaining it. I suck at explaining sometimes.

Ansem watched me drawing intently. He didn't say anything or write anything; he just watched. After I finished drawing and coloring the first drawing, I started a second one.

"May I see the first drawing?"Ansem inquired politely.

I carefully detached the first sheet and slid it across to him. He pulled on a pair of glasses (why the hell wouldn't he have done that when I slid the first drawing over to him, the one of Reno?) and wordlessly studied the drawing. I studied him for a few moments and then went back to working on my second drawing. For some reason, I felt like talking, so I did.

"My other therapists weren't able to find out the meaning of my dreams, but they were pretty much useless anyway."

This interested Ansem. He looked up from where he was studying my drawing. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, they didn't do much for me. They didn't help me at al. All they did was drug me up. They tried all sorts of different medications for different things. Mostly ADD and ADHD."

"Ah yes. That's what your records indicate. None of them were effective in helping you?"

"Nope."

Ansem was quiet for a few minutes. Then, he said, "I want to do some hypnosis therapy with you."

"Hypnosis therapy?" I frowned.

"I will put you in a trance-like state and attempt to recover some of the memories that have been repressed. First, however, we're going to do some practice. This may or not work."

"I say we try it," I said. "It's worth a shot. I mean, nothing else has worked so I'm willing to try something totally different. If you think it might work…"

"I'm not a hundred percent certain that it'll be helpful at all and it won't be a quick fix, you must realize, but it may help. It may help a little or it may help a lot. It may not be pleasant. Digging up these memories may cause you a lot of pain. You may not wish you had never tried to recall these things."

"That's okay," I said. "I'm willing to dredge up these unpleasant memories."

I was willing to try anything. I felt like I was missing something and even though it may be unpleasant, I was willing to try the hypnosis thing and maybe find what I was missing.

To be continued…

A/N: Axel's seizures are back! There is a cause for them, a legitimate medical reason for them. It's not just a random occurrence. I have never had a seizure before, so I don't know what it's like to have one. So I did a bit of research. I hope it's realistic enough.

The spell checker is really retarded. It wanted to change Aerith's line "you bit your tongue" to "you bet your tongue". WTF??! You bet your tongue? Why the hell would anyone want to bet their tongue?!

Wow, I think that was the longest therapy session Axel has ever had with Ansem. The longest one I've written in at least. This chapter got finished a little later than I would have liked. I was hoping to have it up July 3rd, but I left for my grandma's house the 2nd for the Fourth of July weekend and I didn't have the chapter done in time. And of course, there's only dial-up at her house and no privacy so I wouldn't have been able to get the chapter posted anyway.

I haven't gone back and proofread this so I'm sure there are a lot of typos and grammatical errors there. I just don't feel like going back and doing ay editing right now.


	17. Chapter 17 Zexion

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: Ahh, another chapter of back story! This chapter should be called "Revenge of the Back Story". XD I tried something different with this chapter: I used italics to denote past and regular font to denote the present since the majority of this chapter is flashback. If I like it, I'll go back and fix Reno's chapter so it mirrors this one in structure. Your feedback is highly appreciated on this matter as well. AkuRoku fans probably won't like me very much for this chapter. You'll see why later. –ducks away from randomly flying heavy objects—

Ah yes, and thank you a ton to my beta MuffinPirate for proofreading this.

Chapter 17 Zexion

_I was what you considered normal. The key words there is 'was'. I'm not so average anymore. Actually, I'm what's considered abnormal now. I guess._

_My childhood was fairly normal. I had loving parents and a decent life. Money wasn't an issue for us. We lived comfortable lives, for starters. However, there was a big problem in my parents' lives: my older sister Paine. She was (and still remains) a lesbian, something my parents didn't approve of. They were always arguing because of that._

_Paine was kicked out when I was nine. That was the only major thing that happened to me until the accident._

_I remember it quite vividly. It was December, a couple weeks before Christmas; I was ten. The day started normally. It was Saturday morning, so my mom let me sleep in. My dad was working that day, so it was just my mom and me. She had to do some cooking for a Christmas party we were attending later that evening. I wisely stayed out of her way by reading up in my bedroom. I wasn't particularly thrilled about this party—I hated being social, especially when it came to my parents' friends. They were boring people so they threw the most boring parties one could imagine. _

_That evening, I reluctantly dressed in a nice pair of black pants, a white button-up shirt, black socks, and black dress shoes that were a size and a half too small for me, and brushed my hair despite the fact that it never did me any good. Then, I went downstairs where my parents were waiting. They briefly glanced at me and when they didn't say anything to me, I knew I had passed their scrutiny._

_It was sleeting heavily when we climbed into my mom's minivan. It was fairly new, only a year and a half old. We were silent as my father drove. I stared out the window at the sleet, my chin resting in the palm of my hand. My father turned onto the highway and sped up. The windshield wipers raced along with the tires on the wet pavement, trying to keep up with the heavy sleet. Even with the windshield wipers working at the maximum speed, sleet still stuck to the windshield, making it hard to see. _

"_Be careful," my mother murmured as the car started sliding around a bit._

"_I'm fine," my father replied shortly._

_He didn't slow down at all. At last, he turned off the freeway at the exit that led to my parents' friend's house and we thought that was the end of the all the danger. However, when my father was slowing down on the exit ramp, the car hit a large patch of ice and spun out of control. The car left the road. I closed my eyes. It felt like the end and I didn't want to see what was going to happen. I heard terrible screams, metal groaning, and glass shattering, followed by long, empty silence._

_I didn't open my eyes for a long time. If I did, then it would mean that I was accepting what had just happened as truth. I couldn't accept it. I inhaled thick clouds of smoke that irritated and restricted the passage of air into my lungs, making me cough and choke. I kept my eyes squeezed shut. I heard a mixture of voices, sirens, and I even saw flashing lights through my eyelids. There were even more voices, the groaning of metal. The car rocked._

"_Be careful," a voice I did not recognize chided._

"_Sorry," a second voice murmured._

_Cool fingers were placed on the side of my neck._

"_This one is still alive!"A male voice announced. "He doesn't seem to be badly injured."_

_Hands went to my waist and someone unbuckled my seatbelt. I was gently lifted out of the car, wrapped in a thick blanket, and carried somewhere._

"_The boy hasn't been injured badly, but we should make sure," the same man said._

"_All right," a second man responded._

_I was transferred to someone else's arms and then gently laid on something soft._

"_Son? Son can you hear me?" the second man said in my ear._

"_Y…yeah," I coughed._

"_Can you open your eyes for me?" the man asked._

_I hesitated for a moment and then opened my eyes. I was laying in the back of an ambulance and there was a man with a beard and thin wired glasses peering anxiously at me. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled._

"_Well hello there. I'm glad to see you're awake," he said. "My name is Michael. What's your name?"_

"_Zexion," I mumbled._

"_How old are you Zexion?" Michael asked, writing on a clipboard._

"_Ten," I replied._

_He asked me several more boring personal information questions including any medical allergies, to which I replied no. Then he started asking me about my physical condition. When I said between coughs that I was having trouble breathing, he immediately placed a clear plastic mask over my nose and mouth. All of a sudden, I felt a rush of oxygen._

"_Is that better?" Michael asked._

"_Yes," I replied, my voice muffled by the mask._

"_That's good." Michael smiled. He clipped something to the end of my second finger and turned on the machine associated with it. I stared at the clip on my finger curiously. Michael saw my gaze and smiled._

"_It's an oxygen monitor," he explained. "It tells me how much oxygen you're getting." He studied the machine and frowned. "Your oxygen level is lower than it should be."_

_He started shuffling around, pulling things out of various containers. He unbuttoned my shirt and put things on my skin. He turned another machine on and it started beeping regularly. I realized after a few confused seconds that this was my heartbeat._

"_Your pulse looks good," Michael said. "I'm going to start an IV now, okay?"_

_I didn't know what that meant so I merely nodded. Michael took my arm and started prodding it gently._

"_That looks good," he muttered. He looked up at me. "I'm going to put a needle in your arm, okay?" I nodded. "You'll feel a slight pinch. Here it comes."_

_I felt a poke and winced. I could feel a needle sliding under my skin and then it stopped. It was a weird feeling. The back doors were suddenly closed and the front door was opened and closed. The engine rumbled and we started moving. I watched out the back windows, fascinated. I had never ridden backward before. The sleet fell harder than ever, pounding against the windows. I started wondering what was going to happen to me now. I was scared, but the tears would not come._

_I was rushed to the hospital and was thoroughly examined, but amazingly, I had been scarcely hurt. I managed to give them Reno's name and number and they called him and let him know what had happened. He rushed to the hospital. _

_I had met Reno once before, two years previously. I hadn't been sure of what to think of him then and I still didn't know what to think of him. He stepped into the room, looking much older than I remembered. He was a clean-shaven man, twenty-one years old. He wore the standard Shin-Ra uniform; black slacks, a white dress shirt, black leather boots, and a black jacket, however, his shirt was untucked, his jacket was unzipped, and he wasn't wearing the tie the other members wore. His hair was a vivid red and his eyes were a cool blue color, but he was a kind man. I knew this from experience. He looked extremely concerned as he stepped forward._

"_Are you okay Zexion?" he asked._

"_Yeah," I whispered, wishing people would stop asking me that question. That was all the doctors and nurses asked me all night._

"_Really?" Reno raised his eyebrows._

"_Reno, my parents are dead, aren't they?" I asked, finally getting up the courage to voice the question I had had ever since I was loaded into the back of the ambulance._

"_Well…" Reno hesitated._

"_Tell me the truth," I pleaded._

_Reno sighed softly. "Yes. They didn't survive the crash. I'm sorry."_

_I was silent for a while, trying to digest the news. _

"_Reno, I'm scared," I whispered._

"_I'd be surprised if you weren't," Reno said sadly._

_The tears I had been holding back for so long finally started coming out. Reno awkwardly patted me on the head. It was the only thing he could do._

_My parents were buried a week later. I tried my best to not cry. I saved my tears for when I was alone. I wouldn't have made it through the funeral without my best friend Axel there. He helped me keep it together during the funeral and held me when I cried my eyes out that night. I stayed with him and his parents for a while until they figured out what to do with me because my parents hadn't left a will for me._

_In the end, a hearing was held to decide who was going to raise me-- my lesbian sister and her lover or my single but working godfather. It wasn't too hard of a decision for them to make, really. I didn't care either way; I was just glad that the whole process was over with._

_I didn't live with Reno for long before I learned his big secret: he was Axel's older brother. It took a lot of convincing for Reno to spill the beans, but he eventually did. He had been a bad influence on Axel, or so his parents thought. Bad enough for them to send him away to live with some of their distant relatives. They erased Reno completely from Axel's memories, which wasn't hard considering Axel was only three. I had met Axel's parents before and I knew what they were like so it didn't come as a surprise to me that they had done something like that. Reno warned me that he was not allowed to tell Axel he was his brother because of some complicated legal matters so I helped keep his secret. I don't know if Axel was ever close to finding out the truth._

_It was around this time that I started becoming depressed. I felt guilty that I was the only survivor of the car accident. The depression got so bad I tried to kill myself. Reno took me to see a therapist, named Vincent. It didn't help me very much, at least at first. I tried to kill myself a couple more times. I continued seeing Vincent and even spent some time in the Psychiatric Ward. I was put on anti-depressants, which finally helped me. _

_I finally stabilized which was good before I had to deal with Axel and his girlfriend Larxene, who was very abusive. I had to be strong for Axel's sake. I wasn't the only one who breathed a sigh of relief when they broke up, but I certainly was one who was greatly affected by them._

_I had known for a while that I had strong feelings for Axel. We were childhood friends and grew up together. I knew all his good qualities and his bad qualities. He had a lot of issues. It was pretty obvious that there was something going on with him under the surface. Axel needed someone to be there for him and it was obviously going to be me. I was there for him through the good times and the bad times. I stayed with him even though I hated Larxene and she hated me. I comforted him when she abused him and took the stand for him when Larxene was on trial for abuse. I stayed by his side, as a friend. I didn't want to let my feelings get in the way, but it was hard._

_I couldn't help wanting to get closer to Axel and wanting to keep him close. I hated myself for it. Oh, I hated it so much._

_One Friday night, I got a huge surprise. Reno was working late that night, which happened quite a bit with him. I didn't mind. I knew it was for the good of the people._

_That night, I was doing my homework at the kitchen table when there was a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was pretty surprised. I went to the door and opened it. I was even more surprised when I saw Axel standing at the door, looking very disheveled. _

"_Axel?" I asked, frowning._

"_Hi Zexion," Axel replied hoarsely._

"_What's going on? Why are you here?"I asked. I peered at him. "You look terrible. Is everything all right?"_

"_I had a fight with my parents." Was all Axel said._

_I sighed softly. "Would you like to come in?" Axel nodded. I opened the door wider and let Axel come in._

"_Would you like something to drink?" I asked, turning around, and walking toward the kitchen._

"_No thank you, Zexion," Axel said softly._

_I turned around. "Would you like to sit down at least?"_

"_All right." Axel nodded._

_We went to the kitchen and sat down next to each other at the rickety table that Reno had gotten secondhand._

"_I'm sorry. I was doing my homework," I apologized._

"_It's okay," Axel said._

_We were silent for a moment, which was really awkward. It had never been like this before. What had changed between us? Was it because of my feelings for him? Could it possibly mean that he had feelings for me too?_

"_Zexion?" Axel asked._

"_Yes?" I blinked._

"_You sort of zoned out there on me," Axel said._

"_Oh. I'm sorry," I replied. "I was just thinking."_

"_Oh?" Axel asked. "What were you thinking about?"_

"_Just some things," I answered evasively._

"_I see." Axel ran his fingers through his long red hair._

"_Axel, why are you here?" I asked. I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I sound incredibly rude."_

_Axel laughed, although it sounded very hollow. "It's okay, Zex. I've known you for what, ten years now?"_

"_About that long I guess." I smiled._

_Axel laughed, this time sounding a little more like his old self. It made me realize how much Axel had changed and how much Larxene had changed him. It made me sad._

"_Zexion?" Axel asked._

"_Sorry." I winced._

"_It's okay." Axel smiled. "You know, you're pretty cute when you blush."_

"_Axel, have you been drinking?" I immediately asked._

"_No," Axel immediately denied. I stared at him. "All right, I had a drink…or two."_

_I felt a headache coming on. "Axel, why the hell are you drinking? You're only fourteen years old! You shouldn't be drinking in the first place."_

_Axel scowled. "Please don't lecture me. Please."_

_I sighed softly. "At least you're not completely drunk, only a little tipsy."_

"_No," Axel agreed. "I know my limitations."_

"_Indeed," I muttered. I sighed again. "So what do you need, Axel? Tell me what you need and I'll do my best to help you get it." I was surprised when I saw tears in Axel's vividly green eyes. "Axel? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"_

"_I'm sorry." Axel wiped the tears from his eyes. "It's just that you're so kind."_

"_No, I'm not." I shook my head. "I'm not kind at all."_

"_Yeah, you are," Axel replied._

_I shook my head again. _

_Axel reached over and cupped my chin with one of his huge hands._

"_A…Axel?" I stammered. _

_Axel silently leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss didn't last very long. Before my brain could fully comprehend what was happening, Axel had pulled away from me._

"_I'm sorry," he whispered._

_I could read confusion and pain in his eyes. It was clear that he felt the same way about me. I leaned over, my heard pounding._

"_Axel, it's okay," I murmured, my lips hovering several inches away from his. "It's really okay."_

_He wanted to kiss me. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me so bad. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes. Axel's lips and my lips connected. I had no clue of what I was doing, but Axel seemed to know. After all, he had already been through all this with Larxene._

_His hand wrapped around my head and pulled me closer. I willingly moved closer to him. He pulled his mouth away for a moment._

"_Are you sure about this?" Axel asked. "I don't want to force you into anything you don't feel comfortable doing."_

"_I'm sure, Axel," I said without hesitation. "I'm fine."_

"_Okay. I just wanted to make sure."Axel gently brushed my cheek._

_I smiled. "Thank you Axel."_

_Axel pressed his lips to mine again. I eagerly met his lips. He wrapped his hand around my head again and brought me close. I shifted into his lap. The kissing started getting a bit more passionate. Axel nibbled on my lower lip. My breathing started increasing. Axel's lips slid down my neck. Then someone cleared their throat. I turned around and my eyes widened. Reno was standing in the front hall, his arms crossed, looking very amused. I quickly stood up, my face growing very warm._

"_Um…" I started to say._

_Reno held up his hands. "Don't even start. I don't need to know. Just uh…just go finish whatever you were doing in your room, okay?"_

"_I understand Reno," I said quietly._

_Axel quickly got up from his chair. "I'm going to your room, okay Zex?"_

"_All right." I nodded. "I'll be right there."_

_Axel turned and headed for my bedroom. I heard the door shut with a soft snap and then turned to Reno._

"_Are you angry with me Reno?" I asked softly._

"_Oh, no, Zexion!" Reno answered at once. "I'm not mad at all. I'm just a little surprised, that's all."_

"_Yeah, I know," I mumbled._

"_I just want you to be happy, okay?" Reno looked concerned._

"_I know," I replied. "I am."_

"_Good. Now don't keep Axel waiting. Just try and keep it down, okay? And be careful. What I mean is, use a condom. Who knows what that bitch Larxene was carrying that she gave to Axel."_

_My face grew hot. "Reno!"_

_Reno chuckled. "I know, I know, I have a dirty mind." He lowered his voice. "Just remember that Axel is my little brother. Even though I don't get to see him that much, I still have a right to worry about him. Okay? And you of course. Especially you." _

"_Yes, Reno." I sighed, exasperated._

_I hated it when he tried to act like an adult, because it didn't suit his personality. He was much more outgoing than that. _

_I gathered my homework from the table, making a mental note to finish it tomorrow. I walked to my bedroom. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Axel was waiting on my bed. He smiled when he saw me._

"_Is everything all right?" he asked._

"_Yeah, fine," I replied, smiling._

_I set my homework on my desk and walked over to the bed. I sat on the edge next to Axel. He looked over at me and smiled even more._

"_So what did Reno say to you?" he asked._

"_He told me to try and keep it down and use a condom," I answered._

_Axel burst out laughing. "Oh my god, did he really say that to you?"_

"_Yeah," I admitted._

_Axel laughed even harder. "Oh my god, I can't believe it. Only Reno would say something like that to you. You know, you should have asked him if he had a spare condom."_

"_Axel!" I protested._

"_I'm kidding Zexion!" Axel chuckled. I glared at him. "I'm just kidding!"_

"_So you don't expect us to have sex?" I asked._

"_Not right away, unless you want to, of course. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to."_

"_I know," I replied. "I'm not sure I'm ready for sex right now."_

_Axel nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought. See, I know you, Zexion. I know you quite well. Look, I'm cool about waiting, okay?"_

_I nodded. "Thanks Axel."_

"_Sure, no problem." Axel smiled._

_Axel spent the weekend at my apartment (technically, it was Reno's apartment) and went home Sunday night. I had a feeling that he had argued with his parents, but I didn't press the subject. I knew better than to press Axel. I had seen it happen before and the results weren't pretty._

_We worked hard to try and keep our relationship secret. Reno may have approved of our relationship, but Axel's parents wouldn't have. They were definitely homophobic, just like my parents were. In fact, Axel's parents were the ones who suggested to my parents that they kick Paine out because she was a disgrace to the family name._

_We tried really hard to be secretive about what we did. We would either be at my apartment or we'd go to his house when his parents weren't home. Reno never said anything to us, but I think he knew when Axel and I started having sex. Axel was always very gentle with me because he knew he was much bigger than me. And I mean that in more than one way. I had to admit, Axel was great in bed, as perverted as that may sound. We started fooling around just a little bit at first. Axel didn't want to go too fast and I was just fine with that. I didn't want to go too fast either. Eventually, he did take away my virginity though. I felt like I belonged to him, heart and soul._

_I was the happiest when I was dating Axel. I could tell that he was very happy as well. I thought he was getting better._

_But then Axel's parents found out._

_To say they weren't happy was the biggest understatement I could have made. They were furious. They made our lives a living hell. It only got worse and worse until we finally fell apart. Nothing was the same after that. I think it was really the last straw for Axel. He had been threatening to break for some time, but until his parents took away his last bit of happiness, he wasn't completely broken._

_Axel had always had a thing for fire, but he had never tried to burn himself before. I could tell that he was getting worse and worse. I tried to keep myself together for his sake. It was extremely hard to keep yourself together when your best friend was burning himself and trying to destroy everything you were trying to protect._

_Then when Axel was seventeen, he tried to kill himself by setting a fire in his room and he got burned very badly. It was a miracle I was there to save his life. I put my life on the line to save him. Then he met Roxas and started healing. It made me feel even worse. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn't help Axel. I stopped taking my anti-depressants., which made things only get worse. I can't say why I stopped taking my medicine. Maybe I thought it wasn't helping me. One day, I decided that enough was enough and I tried to end my life… again._

_I had gained a lot of knowledge about attempting suicide since I had failed at it so many times. I waited until Reno had left for work and I was sure I was alone before I tried again. I had decided to poison myself this time. I had already tried to hang myself, slit my wrists, and drown myself, but I had failed each time. I wanted a slow and painful death because that was what I deserved. I drank a bunch of cyanide and let the grisly effects take over._

_I did not expect to wake up, but I did. To my great disappointment, I woke up in the hospital alive and well. Sort of. _

_I received a huge shock when I woke up in the hospital; my roommate was none other than Roxas. I had met him before when I had visited Axel in the hospital, but now I got to know him even better. He was a sweet kid, quiet, and gentle. Not at all what Axel was, but I could see how Axel could fall for him. He had a great personality and he was cute, really cute. He made me feel very inferior._

_I was okay at first, but after a while, I started locking my words away. I couldn't say a word. I felt like no matter what I said, it wouldn't matter at all. They did a psychiatric evaluation—asked me all sorts of questions, and filled out many forms. In the end, it looked like I was going to be sent to the Psychiatric Ward along with Roxas. And if that wasn't bad enough, I was also going to be his roommate. I didn't hate Roxas as a person, I just hated the idea of him. I hoped that somehow, I would be able to find the strength to heal, if the effort didn't kill me first._

_Roxas and I were transferred the Psychiatric Ward on the same day. They said it was easier that way. I had been to the Psychiatric Ward before so I knew what to expect. Roxas looked very scared, though. His blue eyes were wide and he had this dazed look on his face that didn't go away as they processed us. Our new nurses were Rebecca (mine) and Alice (his). _

_They showed us to our room where we dropped off our stuff and after they had given us a brief tour of the place, which hadn't changed much since the last time I'd seen it, we went to meet the rest of the patients. I recognized Luxord, Xigbar, and Xaldin, from before. Looked like they were still stuck at this place. We were introduced to Yuffie, the coordinator. The old coordinator, Tifa, had obviously retired. Yuffie was a ball of energy and a bit crazy. I looked around the room, searching for someone specific. Beside me, Roxas was also looking. At the same time, we found who we were looking for; a certain red haired man._

_Axel didn't see us at once, which gave me the chance to study him. There were some things about him that hadn't changed at all. His hair was as red and as wild as ever and his eyes were still a vivid green color. But he was paler and thinner, both things as I would expect from someone staying in the Psychiatric Ward for a while. He held himself differently too. Before, he held himself highly and proudly. He wouldn't let anyone look down to him, but now, he was slumped and defeated. He was accompanied by two women, both nurses, and a small blond boy._

_Axel finally turned and his vivid green eyes widened. All of a sudden, he was on the ground, passed out. A small crowd formed around him with Roxas, the blond boy, myself, and the nurses at the front. A short, stocky nurse with a long reddish-brown braid kneeled down next to him and examined him. A second nurse with brown hair who was much taller than the other nurse was watched, keeping her eye on the blond haired boy, who looked incredibly worried._

"_He's all right," the nurse examining Axel said softly._

_After a few minutes, Axel woke up._

"_He's awake!" his nurse announced._

_As Axel slowly sat up, we moved back to give him more room._

"_Are you okay?" Roxas asked softly._

_Axel looked over at Roxas._

"_Rox…as?" he asked hoarsely. "What…what are you doing here?"_

"_I got transferred in," Roxas answered._

"_Really?" Axel asked._

"_Yeah." Roxas nodded. "And he did too." He pointed to me._

_Axel studied me as I studied him. I nodded at him in greeting. _

"_He not talking?" Axel asked, turning his attention back to Roxas._

_I took the opportunity to have a brief look at Axel's companion. He was a year or two younger than Axel and myself with brownish blond hair styled halfway between a mowhawk and a mullet, friendly sea green eyes, and a lot of scars on his face. I quickly turned away so he wouldn't notice me staring._

"_Axel, you know them?" the boy asked._

"_Yeah." Axel nodded. "Let me introduce you. This is Roxas, my old roommate from when I was still in the regular hospital." Axel pointed to Roxas. "And this guy is my best friend, Zexion." He pointed to me._

"_Hi," the boy said politely._

"_Hi," Roxas replied, smiling in a friendly manner._

_I just nodded at him in greeting._

_Axel felt the need to explain. "He can't talk." He whispered it, but I still heard him._

"_Is he a mute or something?" the boy asked curiously._

"_For now I guess." Axel shrugged. "He hasn't been like this all the time. I mean, he hasn't always been mute. I've heard him talk."_

_The boy looked over at me, but seemed to understand._

"_Come on. Let's go sit down somewhere. I'm sure you and Roxas have a lot to catch up on," he said._

_He led us over to a quiet corner where we sat down._

"_By the way, my name is Demyx," the boy whispered to me. "I'm Axel's current roommate."_

_I nodded. Demyx looked satisfied, turned away, and pulled out a guitar. He started strumming a few chords, singing softly to himself. I picked up a book and started reading._

*********************

I quickly got adjusted to life at the Psychiatric Ward. It wasn't hard for me at all. I started seeing Dr. Wise, a different psychologist than I saw before. Dr. Wise was a kind man and generally concerned with my welfare rather than what he was being paid.

Meanwhile, Axel was getting worse. He had a mild breakdown and worried all of us. The next morning, I learned from another Demyx that Axel had experienced another seizure. It was after Axel had woken up from a nightmare. I could tell that Demyx had been terrified from watching Axel's seizure. I had never seen him have a seizure before, so I had no idea what it was like.

I didn't even get a chance to see Axel until lunch. He was in a session with Dr. Wise for most of the morning. I was so glad when Axel walked into lunch with his nurse, whose name I had learned was Hannah. I walked up to Axel and tried to ask him if he was all right, but nothing came out. I turned away, my eyes burning with tears. I was surprised when a warm hand rested on my shoulder.

"It's okay," Demyx murmured.

"Are you all right?" Roxas asked Axel. It made my heart hurt.

"I'm fine," Axel answered, though none of us believed him.

After lunch, it was my turn to meet with Dr. Wise. He tried to get me to speak, but he was unable to. Dr. Wise was silent for a while.

"Well Zexion, I think you have trouble expressing yourself. I suggest that you try to express yourself through other means, such as drawing."

I nodded. Dr. Wise had me draw some pictures. At the end of the session, Dr. Wise gathered up everything and looked at me intently.

"I encourage you to try and speak to just me, Zexion," he said. "Everything will be kept in strict confidence. You don't have to worry about being judged either, all right? Just think about it."

"O…okay," I managed to whispered.

Dr. Wise smiled.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow. What. A. Chapter. It really took a lot out of me to write it and it wasn't just the fact that it was long. It just would NOT be written. I had to force it out. XD

I hope I did okay with the characterization of Zexion in this chapter, especially during the accident. I've never been in an accident worse that accidently backing into various objects in the driveway or that time when a guy pulled out and nearly hit me, but I can imagine it can be very scary, especially when you're still just a kid. I have been taken to the hospital by ambulance once when I was up on Pike's Peak out in Colorado. I got altitude sickness so they had to take me down the mountain by ambulance and to the hospital. It was really scary. Besides that and having to be taken to the ER by my mom because I sprained my ankle, my hospital experience is pretty limited. XD

I know Zexion is really intelligent, but I wanted there to be a limit on his knowledge at the time of the accident because I mean he's only ten years old! Surely there's a limit to his knowledge.

Eh, I was going to write an AkuZeku lemon, but I never managed to get to it. XD I guess it's okay. Maybe later I'll go back and write a full-blown lemon. Though I was trying to avoid it in this for once. I'll leave the AkuZeku smut for some other fic.


	18. Chapter 18 Axel

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: I'm going to be taking a bit of artistic license with this chapter. I'm warning you now so you won't complain about it later. If everything isn't a hundred percent, please don't get angry with me, okay? I wouldn't even bother doing this, but after I got some reviews for Identity that made me want to curl up in the fetal position, I decided to write this warning. It's fiction, okay? Not everything will be based off fact. While I try to make things as realistic as possible, I don't make sure every single little detail is a hundred percent correct. So let me know if something is unrealistic. Otherwise, I don't really care.

And thank you to my beta MuffinPirate for proofreading this.

Chapter 18 Axel

The next morning, I started hypnotherapy with Ansem. It was probably the strangest thing I had ever been through. The first couple of sessions were just practice to see if I could be put into a trance-like state that was necessary for this whole thing to work. By the third session, Ansem was able to put me in a trance and take me out of it with ease.

Ansem explained to me that we wouldn't be doing hypnotherapy in each session; we'd probably do it every couple of sessions. I was going to need time between each session of hypnotherapy to recover and there were probably things we would want to discuss, and also other things that we needed to work on.

It was slow at first, but we finally were able to make some progress. Ansem did this weird age regression thing that is really hard for me to explain. All I really knew was that Ansem made me reminisce back to my childhood and helped me dig up memories from the past that I thought I had forgotten.

When Ansem was sure I had regressed to my childhood and wasn't faking it, he started working with me to uncover the buried memories. We started when I was two years old. I mentioned Reno a lot.

Then, one day, everything changed. While I was in my trance, I said, "Reno, you're the best brother ever!"

"What did you just say, Axel?" Ansem asked sharply.

I repeated my statement. Ansem quickly brought me out of my trance. When I opened my eyes, I felt tears running down my face.

"Brother," I murmured. "Brother." I looked up at Ansem. "Reno is my brother."

"Are you sure?" Ansem asked.

"I'm sure." I nodded. My voice trembled. "I remember now. Reno is my brother. He…went away. I don't know why. That's all I can remember right now."

Ansem looked completely surprised. "Well, I think this is a good place to end our session for the day. I don't want to do too much too soon. Now that we've made a real breakthrough, the memories might start coming back on their own, but there's no guarantee."

I was disappointed that we weren't going to go any farther. Now that I was starting to remember things, I wanted to remember more. I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Why hadn't I remembered Reno? Did my parents make me forget him? Didn't he care about me at all? Maybe he left by himself. I had so many unanswered questions.

I left Ansem's office feeling unfulfilled. I wanted to know more, but I would just have to wait.

Hannah was waiting for me outside Ansem's office as she normally did.

"You're out early," she said in surprise. "Is everything all right?"

"It's fine," I replied heavily. "Ansem just wanted to end the session early today."

Hannah put her hands on her hips. "You are a lousy liar, Axel. It's okay if you don't want to tell me though. It's a private thing. Now come on, it's time for lunch."

I nodded and followed Hannah through the hallways I had become so accustomed to. I got my lunch and went to sit in my normal corner with my friends.

"Axel?" Roxas asked as soon as I set my tray down on the table. "What's wrong? You look kind of…off."

"I had a breakthrough in my sessions with Ansem," I said, sliding into the seat next to Roxas. "Zexion's godfather Reno is my older brother." I was amazed at how calm I sounded when I said this.

To my utter shock, Zexion nodded.

"We know," Roxas said softly.

I stared at him. Anger welled up inside me, as well as anger.

"You knew?!" I yelled, getting to my feet. "You knew all this time and you didn't tell me?! How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't know," Demyx said timidly from the other side of the table. "I really didn't know. I swear!"

"Axel, please listen to me," Roxas pleaded. "I didn't know until Zexion was hospitalized and I met him. That's when I was told."

I turned to Zexion. He had started to cry a little. He took a deep shuddering breath.

"I'm so sorry Axel. I couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't." He shook his head and started weeping softly.

I walked over to the other side of the table and put my hand on Zexion's bony shoulder at me. He looked up at me, tears streaking his cheeks. His eyes were really watery. I wrapped my arms around his thin body.

"It's all right," I said quietly.

I went back to my spot and sat down. After lunch, Demyx and I were accompanied back to our room by Aerith and Hannah for a bit of down time before the afternoon activities began. I laid down on my bunk and stared at the ceiling, trying to remember something about Reno, anything.

I conjured up an image of Reno as I remembered him. He was kind, funny, and a troublemaker. I always looked up to him. I closed my eyes and concentrated. He didn't seem to like me at first; he tried to keep his distance from me, which seemed to make my parents happy. But when my parents went out somewhere together, he would always watch me. After a while, he warmed up to me. He was really nice to me. We got into trouble together. He was always defying our parents.

"Axel!" a voice cried out.

I opened my eyes. "Huh?"

"We were starting to worry," Demyx explained. "Hannah has been calling your name for a while and you weren't answering."

"Oh. Sorry," I apologized at once. "I was just trying to remember some things about my brother."

"Oh, I see." Demyx smiled.

I could only remember a few things about Reno. It was driving me crazy because I wanted to remember. There was still a huge gap in my memory that I wanted to be filled in. I wanted to fill in the blanks and remember my older brother and the reason why he wasn't in my life anymore.

The next morning, I went back to see Ansem again.

"So how are you doing this morning, Axel?" He asked right off the bat.

"I'm doing fine," I replied truthfully.

"You aren't having any negative effects from yesterday's incident?" Ansem asked curiously.

"Nope." I shook his head. "I've remembered a little more about Reno."

"Oh?" Ansem prodded.

"It's not really that much," I said. "I just remember that he and I didn't get along at first—he didn't seem to like me, but then after a while, he opened up to me. We would get in trouble all the time together. It was a lot of fun."

"What sort of trouble?" Ansem asked.

"I don't remember," I answered sadly.

"Don't worry Axel," He reassured me. "The memories will come back in time. It may be a slow process, but they will return. That's all you remember?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Hey Ansem, you really didn't know that Reno was my brother, right?"

"That's correct." Ansem nodded. "I assure you I had no idea you had an elder brother. Your records indicate that you were an only child. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that Roxas and Zexion both knew already that Reno was my brother so I thought maybe you knew as well and just weren't saying anything," I said.

"Hmm…" Ansem looked thoughtful. "I wonder why this could be. Perhaps you should try talking to them."

"Okay," I replied.

At the end of the session, I left, as usual, still frustrated that I couldn't remember anything more about my brother. I was glad that I could remember him now, though. I would find the answer one day. I just knew it.

To be continued…

A/N: Sorry the chapter was short this time around. I was having a lot of trouble writing it. It just did not go like I wanted it to. And being stuck out in the middle of nowhere doesn't help either.

Axel: Oh come on, it can't be that bad.

Me: I have been without Internet for three days straight and I was stuck for two days in the middle of a freaking forest. Not only was I bored out of my skull, I was having trouble writing. I'm getting pretty close to the end of my sanity.

Demyx: Don't worry. I understand. It sucks.

Me: Thank you Demyx. At least SOMEONE understands. –glares at Axel—So the next chapter should be a lot longer than this one was.


	19. Chapter 19 Roxas

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any profit by writing this.

A/N: This chapter was finished pretty quickly. This is what happens when I have way too much time on my hands and I play solitaire while listening to my IPod. The ideas just start flying and I actually manage to get things done. Let me tell you, this vacation has been really sucky. I've broken down and cried once and asked to go home twice already. I've hardly been able to get online and I'm just miserable. I can't wait for this vacation to be over with. I'm just not a camper.

I'd like to say thanks once again to MuffinPirate for betaing this and making sure that I haven't made any typos.

Chapter 19 Roxas

Axel is getting better.

It hasn't been that hard to see. Axel has been going to see Dr. Wise and he's been doing some hypnotherapy to help his buried memories resurface, and it's been helping him a lot. There's been a noticeable change in Axel's personality. He rarely snaps anymore and since that night, he hasn't had another seizure.

But Zexion is getting worse. He doesn't talk at all and he barely even eats. He's losing a lot of weight, and his overall health has taken a turn for the worse. We're all worried about him, but Demyx is the most worried. He has become quite attached to Zexion, so I decided that I needed to talk with Axel. Something had to be done about Zexion.

So one night, I went to see Axel in his room. Demyx was there, strumming away at his guitar and singing something. Axel was there listening to him. I stood in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt because the song was so beautiful.

_You are everything_

_The reason that I breathe_

_Hold onto me now_

_Don't let me fall_

_The light of my life_

When Demyx realized that Axel was no longer the only one in there with him, he stopped singing and blushed.

"That was beautiful," I said. "You have a really great voice."

Demyx blushed even more. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Axel privately for a few minutes. Is that okay?" I replied.

"Oh sure." Demyx got up. "I understand." He moved toward the door.

"Hey Demyx, can I ask a favor of you?" I asked when he was standing in the doorway.

He stopped and turned around. "Sure. What do you need me to do?"

"Is it all right if you go and stay with Zexion while I'm here talking to Axel?" I asked. "I don't like leaving Zexion alone for very long."

Demyx nodded. "I understand. I'll go keep Zexion company for a while."

"Thank you." I smiled.

After I was sure Demyx was gone, I turned to Axel. He was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"What can I do for you?" Axel asked, shifting his position so he was looking at me.

I took a deep breath. "I'm really worried about Zexion. He's getting worse. He doesn't speak and he barely eats."

"I know," Axel said softly, swinging his legs around so he could sit up. "I'm not blind. I see what's happening to Zexion."

"Can't anything be done about him?" I asked.

Axel shook his head. "We have to rely on Ansem to help Zexion now." His voice was growing weaker. "I hate feeling so powerless but I can't do anything." His voice broke.

I went over and hugged him as he started to cry a little.

"I know what Zexion means to you," I said softly. Axel looked up at me, his eyes filled with tears. "Zexion told me that you two were dating but your parents split you up. I wasn't sure what to think of it at first, but I've decided that it doesn't matter to me anymore. As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter. No matter what you decide, I'll stay by your side."

Axel's expression suddenly softened. "Roxas…the only one I want is you. Zexion and I…what we had is over. I love you."

I fell silent. My heart was pounding. I had never had anyone say that to me before, not my parents, not my godparents, not even my own brother. The concept of someone loving me was foreign. What did I know about love? No one had loved me. All my parents wanted from me was for me to vanish.

"I don't know if I'm capable of loving or being loved," I finally said softly.

I thought for sure that I would hurt Axel, but to my surprise, he just chuckled.

"Roxie, everyone is able to love and be loved," he said. "Even people who have done terrible things sill have the capacity to love and be loved. They're only human after all. No matter what, they still have humanity in them, even if it's buried way deep inside of them."

I realized something. "You're never going to give up on me, are you?"

Axel shook his head, grinning widely. "Roxie, I'd wait for you forever!"

"Is that really true?" I asked quietly.

Axel snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. His lips covered mine. He was grinning even more when he pulled away.

"You'd better believe it!" he said.

I wasn't sure what to think. I've never been loved by anyone before. It sort of felt good. I smiled and kissed Axel back. He looked slightly surprised, but smiled gently. He pressed our lips together again for several chaste kisses. I had kissed Axel before, but never like this. It seemed to me now that he had always been holding back around me because he had never kissed me like this before. I didn't mind, though. I didn't mind at all.

Axel seemed to realize this and started kissing me deeper. He pulled me even closer and wrapped his arms around me. I kissed him back eagerly, wanting to go further. I had never done anything like this before and I wanted to explore. I wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone, hold someone, touch someone. Axel pressed his tongue to my lips. I knew what he wanted and opened my mouth. His tongue slipped in and he started exploring my mouth. I met his tongue with mine and we started battling each other. We only stopped every once in a while to get some oxygen.

I moaned softly when Axel started kissing my neck, nipping at my skin. He didn't hurt me, though. It was just playful. Things were just starting to get heated when Hannah walked in.

"What is going on here?!" she demanded.

Axel groaned softly and pulled away from me. "Hi Hannah."

"Roxas, what are you doing? You shouldn't be in here!" Hannah chided. "You probably shouldn't be making out with Axel either."

"I'm sorry," I apologized, getting up.

"And where on earth is your roommate, Axel?" Hannah continued.

"It's my fault," I explained. "I wanted to come and have a private chat with Axel because I was worried about Zexion. I didn't really want to leave Zexion alone for very long so I asked Demyx to go and keep him company. I was about to leave, but I wanted to kiss Axel goodbye first so I did."

"Just go back to your room, okay?" Hannah said. "And make sure Demyx gets back okay. Just for future reference, don't leave your room unexpectedly, all right? We don't have a problem if you go visit other patients. We just need to know what you're doing. You're our responsibility."

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right Roxas." Hannah smiled at me.

I turned to Axel. "Goodnight Axel."

"Goodnight Roxie," Axel replied. "See you tomorrow."

To be continued…

A/N: Arg, what the hell? I can't write long chapters anymore. D: This is really annoying. I'm going to have to work on that. But yay, there was finally some serious AkuRoku. It makes me really happy that I finally got to the AkuRoku. XD


	20. Chapter 20 Demyx

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: This time I actually wrote out the chapter first. For the last two chapters, I didn't do that and I'm not please when the result. I've been having a lot of trouble writing lately so I'm going back to the basics. We'll see what happens.

Thank you, as always, to my lovely beta MuffinPirate for working out the kinks in this.

I'm updating several days early because I'm moving into my dorm Friday and I'm not sure I'll have time to post anything, so here it is!

Chapter 20 Demyx

I was surprised when Roxas showed up in Axel's and my room one night unexpectedly. I was even more surprised when Roxas asked me to go keep Zexion company for a while so he could talk to Axel alone.

I could sense that Roxas wanted to talk to Axel about Zexion. I had noticed along with everyone else that Zexion was getting much worse. He didn't talk, didn't eat, and was losing weight rapidly. He looked incredibly thin and just so sick. Roxas was Zexion's roommate so he could see firsthand just what Zexion was going through. And Axel was Zexion's best friend so he could possibly try to talk some sense into him.

I had no place there; it wasn't my business. I had no problem going to keep Zexion company. Besides, I liked spending time with him. He's quiet and I never say much around him but when I'm with him, I don't feel pressured to say anything or to start a conversation. We are comfortable in silence. Roxas is the same: he's quiet and doesn't mind the silence. Axel on the other hand, minds the silence. He has a very outgoing personality and has a hard time being alone. That said, he also seems to have a hard time trusting people. It's a complicated thing. Then again, Axel is a complex person. All humans are complicated. I don't know a lot about things. I don't know much about people. This is just what I have observed.

I walked down the hallway, easily navigating my way to the room Roxas and Zexion shared. I knocked on the door and stuck my head inside, making sure I could see Zexion.

"Hey Zexion, is it all right if I come in?" I asked.

On the other side of the room, Zexion nodded, so I went in. Roxas and Zexion's room was a lot like the room Axel and I shared, except a whole lot neater. There weren't clothes strewn all over the floor, dirty and clean piles coalescing into one huge pile in the middle of the room. Their personal things were all put away properly in their proper places, unlike our room where everything was just… everywhere.

No matter how many times Aerith and Hannah nagged me and Axel, the pile never got any smaller, only larger. Axel and I shared clothes all the time, wearing whatever we could find in the pile that appeared clean. The room had been clean once, before Axel arrived. I had done a pretty good job, but then Axel came and he did a terrible job of keeping the room clean.

No matter how many times he was punished, no matter how many times his privileges were taken away, the room never got any cleaner. At the beginning, I did manage to keep my side clean, but the mess (and Axel's terrible habits) spread until I stopped caring. I was constantly getting in trouble along with Axel, but it didn't matter to me anymore. My parents didn't want to see me and I didn't have any friends.

The only thing I had to live for was Zexion. I was alive because he needed me. I had sensed it right at the start, when we first met. He needed somebody, a friend, like me. Although he had Axel, the redhead was slowly slipping away from him. Even though none of them ever said a word, I could tell that that was what was going on. I could tell just from observing the three of them, seeing how they acted around each other, what they said, and so on.

I'm more aware of my surroundings than people give me credit for, but that's how it's always been. People never give me enough credit; they always think I'm slow, stupid. They think I can't do anything right and they never fail to let me know when I'm wrong. They never tell me what I do right, only what I do wrong.

I took a deep breath and, banishing the unpleasant memories to the deepest, darkest part of my mind, I stepped forward into the room, closing the door behind me.

Zexion was sitting up in bed, dressed in his usual matching grey sweatpants and long sleeved shirt. His hair hung over half his face as always. He had a sketchpad balanced neatly on his lap and he had been hunched over the sketchpad until I came in. Now, with a pencil held between his long, pale fingers, he looked up at me, one blue eye visible.

He looked even more haggard than usual, and it made me want to cry. He was always petite, but he never looked as fragile like he did now. I didn't want to hug him or even touch him because I was afraid he'd break.

I walked over to Zexion's bed and cautiously sat down on the edge near Zexion's feet. I was careful to not sit _on_ his feet because it was possible that they'd break. Zexion's one eye looked at me inquisitively.

"You can go back to what you were doing," I said, gesturing to Zexion's sketchbook. "I'm just here to keep you company until Roxas comes back."

I deliberately didn't tell him that Roxas himself had asked me to stay with him because he was afraid that Zexion might try to kill himself again. Zexion seemed to accept my explanation and went back to drawing.

I couldn't help but sigh softly. "I'm just here to waste more space."

_For as long as I could remember, I had only wasted space. I don't think there was ever a time when I didn't waste space._

_My parents weren't exactly the most loving parents ever. They had been trying to have kids for a long time and they wanted a girl, but they got stuck with me. From the time when I was really young, my parents reiterated that I couldn't do anything right. They made it my fault that I was a male instead of a female. Everything was my fault. It only got worse as I got older. My parents told me everything I did wrong and never what I did right. I started finding the bad qualities in myself and I lost sight of the good qualities._

_My childhood, like a lot of peoples', was unremarkable. Nothing abnormal happened unless you count my parents verbally abusing me. When I was six, my parents found out that they couldn't have any more children. It was a devastating blow to both of them, especially since they had always wanted a little girl. _

_I tried hard to please them, but nothing I did could make them happy. It wasn't until I was older that they started arguing. I would lay awake at night and listened to them fight over every little thing. Even worse, they took out their frustrations on me. _

_My father started having an affair with one of his young coworkers. I found out when I was nine. I confronted my father and he shoved me out the window. I don't remember much of the incident; I blacked out after I hit the ground and was in and out of consciousness for a day and a half. Luckily, I didn't suffer any permanent brain damage; just a concussion. _

_I woke up in the hospital with my father by my side, his expression severe._

"_Dad?" I croaked._

"_Demyx, you are not to tell anyone I pushed you out the window, do you understand?" my father said. I nodded. "When they ask, you fell out the window. Do you understand?" He grabbed my arm painfully. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"_

"_Yes!" I gasped, tears in my eyes._

_My father let go of my arm and walked out of the room. I never saw him again. I was left horribly scarred from the broken glass and filled with self-doubt. My mother blamed me for my father leaving and never forgave me. She raised me by herself, albeit reluctantly._

_At school, I didn't have any friends. Everyone thought I was weird because I had scars on my face and I wasn't like everyone else. I didn't care about all the latest fashions and all that other stuff. I was shunned. No one cared for me and that led me to my bathtub on a cold Saturday morning while my mom was at the grocery store._

_I had already written my farewell note, not that I thought anyone would really care about it. I turned on the cold water in the tub and waited while the water filled it. I stripped all my clothes and stared at my face in the mirror. I couldn't stand to look at myself for very long; I was so hideous. Tears stung my eyes and I turned away._

_When the water was near the top, I turned the tap off and took a deep breath. I stepped into the water and shuddered at the cold temperature. I kneeled down in the water and then lay down. The cold water was biting. I closed my eyes and slid under the water. The temperature made my body hurt. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I could do this anymore. I resurfaced and opened my eyes. I wiped the water from my eyes. _

"_I am so weak!" I told myself. "So weak I can't even kill myself." I shook my head. "Gotta be strong for once in my life."_

_I took another deep breath and submerged myself under the water. My body wanted to float to the surface, but I forced myself to keep my head down. My lungs burned and I wanted to scream. I started to panic and thrashed wildly around in the bathtub. My arms and legs hit the sides of the porcelain tub and I rolled onto my stomach, keeping my face under the water. My head started to feel fuzzy and I became really sleepy. My body slowed down and I started feeling good. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I sort of floated away. _

_I felt someone roughly shaking me and a far off voice called my name. I didn't want to respond. I enjoyed being asleep. _

"_Come on Demyx, wake up," a man said far away._

"_Will he be okay?" a woman asked._

"_We're not sure," a man answered._

_Something thick was wrapped around my body, restricting my movement. I was roughly picked up and moved somewhere else._

_After that, I must have blacked out, because I don't remember anything until I woke up at the hospital with a tube shoved down my throat. I started to panic, which set of a bunch of alarms that only made me panic even more. A nurse came running in and saw me panicking. She rushed to my side._

"_Demyx, it's okay," she said soothingly. "You're okay. Just relax."_

_I panicked even more. The nurse had to sedate me in the end. It took me a while to get used to the ventilator. Eventually, I was taken off it and I was rehabilitated. Then, I was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where I started seeing Dr. Wise. It took a long time, but began to get my life back on track. I still felt like I was missing something, though, until I met Zexion_

Someone was shaking me gently.

"Demyx. Demyx!" somebody said.

I opened my eyes. It was Zexion.

"Huh?" I asked stupidly.

"You started spacing out and nearly fell over," Zexion explained in a quiet tone.

It was then that I realized that I was leaning up against him and he had his arms delicately wrapped around my waist. I felt my face grow warm as I realized our position. I turned my head slightly and looked Zexion directly in the eye. His one visible eye watched me curiously, his breath warm on my neck.

"Thanks for catching me," I murmured.

Zexion nodded. We stared at each other for a few moments. Then, Zexion leaned over and gently kissed me.

"I don't think you're a waste of space," he whispered.

My face grew even hotter.

"Uh…um…" I stammered like a complete idiot.

I didn't know what to say. So instead of saying anything, I kissed him, figuring my actions would speak for themselves. After a while, Zexion crawled back to his previous position, and I joined him.

"Can I see what you're drawing?" I asked, motioning to Zexion's closed sketchbook, laying on his nightstand. Zexion hesitated. "It's okay. You don't have to show me if you're not comfortable with it. There are some things that are too private to share with others."

_Which is why I haven't shared my latest song with you._ I added silently.

Zexion nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. We cuddled until Roxas returned.

"Well, it looks like it's time for me to go," I said, heaving a soft sigh. "See you tomorrow, Zexion."

I detached myself from him rather reluctantly and gave him a quick kiss goodbye.

I was at the door when Zexion said, "I'll let you see the drawing when I'm finished."

"Okay," I said with a smile.

I turned around and walked out the door. I was honored that Zexion trusted me enough to let me see his private work. Maybe I would share my song with Zexion one day and trust him, as he seemed to trust me.

Because I really liked Zexion.

To be continued…

A/N: Yeah, this turned out a lot better than the previous chapters. Though I still feel like I've failed epically with this chapter. XD

Yay, some Zemyx!! This story has been seriously lacking Zemyx.


	21. Chapter 21 Zexion

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: I finally got my new laptop!! It's SO much better than the old one. The only problem is that I have to transfer all my files over and I lost all the settings including my custom dictionary so I have to add all the character names to the dictionary again. Sigh.

As always, thanks to MuffinPirate for betaing this.

Chapter 21 Zexion

I feel so weak, both physically and mentally. I'm barely able to function anymore. I'm so tired all the time and I don't want to do anything, not even to drag myself out of the bed in the morning. I do manage to, though.

Why?

It's all because of Demyx. He is the only reason I'm alive right now. It may sound cliché, but it's the only way I can describe it. I never thought it would happen to me, but that was before I met Demyx. He really is something special. He is uncommonly kind, gentle, and a good friend.

One day, I got a great surprise. My nurse Rebecca came in unexpectedly.

"Zexion, you have a special guest here to see you," she said with a smile. I looked at her blankly. "I'm not telling you who it is; you'll just have to see for yourself. Now come on, get up, and put something on and I'll take you to see your guest. If you want help, just let me know." I shook my head. "All right. I'll wait outside for you."

I nodded and Rebecca went out. I went over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of clean clothes. I stripped my pajamas off, neatly folded them, put them away in the proper drawer, and pulled my clothes on. It was a long, arduous task because I was so weak. I brushed my hair (not that it really mattered—my hair went all over the place anyway) and pulled on my shoes and socks.

When I was ready, I slowly crossed the room and opened the door. Rebecca was waiting right outside. She turned around.

"Oh, are you ready?" she asked. I nodded. "Come with me then."

We slowly proceeded down the hall, taking several breaks. I felt so pathetic; I couldn't even walk down the hall without resting. Rebecca was very patient with me and helped me whenever I needed it.

We finally arrived at one of the conference rooms. Rebecca opened the door and ushered me in. Dr. Wise was sitting at the head of the long table. To his right was…Reno?

"Reno!" I gasped upon seeing my redheaded godfather.

Reno rose from his seat, smiling. "Hey, Zexion."

He looked really worn out, causing me to feel a huge wave of guilt. This was all my fault, I knew it. Reno was so worn out because he was worrying about me. Tears filled my eyes before I could stop them.

"Zexion? What's wrong?" Reno asked anxiously. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

I nodded, but couldn't stop the tears. I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing. I looked up just in time to see Reno look over at Dr. Wise questioningly. Dr. Wise nodded and Reno walked over to me. He wrapped his long arms around me.

"Hey," he said softly, holding me close to his chest. "Don't cry, okay? Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you. I want you to be happy." This only made me cry harder. Reno sighed softly and held me. "You know, I can't help you if you keep crying like this."

I sniffed softly and tried to stop my tears but they just kept coming. I buried my face in Reno's shirt and cried my eyes out. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop crying.

"You know what, it's okay," Reno whispered. "Cry as much as you need to, all right? It's not a bad thing to cry."

"He's right, you know," Dr. Wise said. I looked up at him, my sobs quieting. "Crying is a healthy expression of your emotions. It's normal to cry when you're upset. Would you like a Kleenex?"

I nodded miserably, and Dr. Wise produced a tissue. I pulled away from Reno and took it. I blew my nose, and Dr. Wise handed me another tissue and I blew my nose again. A third tissue took care of the tears in my eyes and on my cheeks. I let the used tissue drop to the table with all the others I had put there and took a deep breath.

"Is that better?" Reno asked.

I nodded. "Reno, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Reno looked surprised.

"For everything!" I cried. "For hurting you, for making you worry, and for causing you so much trouble. I'm sorry!"

Reno just stared at me in a stunned silence after my little outburst. I felt a whole lot better after getting that off my chest and I felt strangely calm. After a few minutes of staring, Reno smiled weakly and hugged me.

"Oh Zexion, you mean so much to me. I'd be devastated if you died on me," he murmured. "Why can't you understand this? I know you're sad about a lot of things and I feel like I failed as a guardian, no, as your parent because I couldn't help you at all."

"You haven't failed," I whispered. "I love you."

"I know Zexion. I do too." Reno held me closer.

"Why don't you have a seat and we'll have a little chat," Dr. Wise suggested.

Reno and I sat on either side of Dr. Wise at the table.

"So what's going on, yo?" Reno asked.

Dr. Wise took a deep breath. "I think it will be beneficial if we start having group therapy sessions, meaning that both of you come in for sessions with me. Zexion, of course, is already seeing me daily. I would like you, Reno, to come in once a week with him."

"All right," Reno agreed. "That sounds good."

Both he and Dr. Wise turned to me.

"What do you think, Zexion?" Dr. Wise asked. "What do you think of this?"

"I think…" I exhaled slowly. "I think it's a good idea."

"Okay, then," Dr. Wise said with a smile. "Is there a specific day of the week that does or does not work for you, Reno?"

"No, it doesn't matter what day our meeting is. My schedule is pretty empty." Reno shrugged.

"All right." Dr. Wise pulled on a pair of glasses. "Let me take a look here…" He opened a large datebook in front of him and turned to a specific page. "Is there's a specific time that's better?"

"Well," Reno replied. "Evenings work better for me, but I'm sure I can get off work if I need to."

"All right," Dr. Wise said. "How about Monday at eleven? Will that work?"

"I'll have to check with my boss, but it should be all right." Reno smiled.

"All right. Let me know what the decision is."

"Got it." Reno nodded.

"I have to have a word with you, Reno, before you go."

"All right." Reno stood up and turned to me.

I got up and quickly went around to the other side of the table, and I hugged Reno.

"Goodbye," I whispered.

"Bye Zexion. See you next week, huh?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

I broke away from him and went to the door, turning around and stealing one last glance at my godfather before I left.

To be continued…

A/N: Woefully short chapter, I know. It seems like I can't write long chapters anymore, at least not for this. XD Oh well.

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update now because school is back and I'm getting my ass handed to me. I shall try hard, though. I have Chapter 22 finished and I'm working on Chapter 23.

Thanks to FinalFallenFantasy for pointing out my typo. I really appreciate it!


	22. Chapter 22 Reno

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: I can't believe I'm already on Chapter 22 of this story! It's starting to go by really fast. This is actually the first Kingdom Hearts fanfiction I wrote and it's been over a year since I first started working on this. I thought I could write longer chapters, but I guess I can't. Not for this story, at least. I'm going to stop worrying about the length of these chapters and just get this thing done.

I swear I have Satan's laptop!! This thing freaking hates me!! You want details? See my livejournal. I won't rant here; that's what my livejournal is for.

Chapter 22 Reno

I stared at Dr. Wise, wondering what he wanted. After Zexion closed the door behind him, Dr. Wise turned to me.

"Reno, why don't you sit down?" Dr. Wise suggested in a gentle tone.

I had a bad feeling. Something was going on. My heart rate increased and I started feeling generally nervous. I slowly nodded and somehow managed to find my way back to my seat. I waited breathlessly for Dr. Wise to start talking.

"Axel's memories are coming back," he said in a grim voice. I stared at him. "He knows who you are. There's no way to stop it now—Axel will remember."

I could barely breathe. My throat didn't seem to be working so I'm sure I did a nice impression of a fish.

"Reno?" Dr. Wise asked. "Are you all right?"

"That's an unfair question, doc," I croaked.

Dr. Wise chuckled softly. "Yes, you're right. Do you need something to drink?"

"Yeah," I replied hoarsely. "That'd be good."

"I'll be right back," Dr. Wise said. He got up from the table and went out.

I sat there, trying to compose myself, but how could I? I had just learned that my baby brother who couldn't remember who I was because of our parents now knew. The implications of that were enormous. Things were gonna change now. Nothing could be the same anymore. There was way to know what was going to happen.

Dr. Wise finally came back in carrying a paper cup with him. He handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said weakly, my hand closing around it.

I pressed it to my lips and took a sip. It was one of those cheap-ass cups that left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth. As I took another sip, Dr. Wise sat in his place and regarded me intently.

"As I was saying before," he said. "Axel will remember everything in due time. It's for the best—the suppression of his memories has caused nothing but problems for him. I will continue working with him to bring up the memories and help him deal with them. It's the only way for him to heal.

I nodded. "How…" I had to clear my throat before continuing. "How much does Axel remember so far?"

"Not very much," Dr. Wise answered. "He remembers you from the past and knows that you're his brother. He remembers the two of you getting in a lot of trouble and your parents getting mad, mostly at you. He remembers you leaving a little, but he doesn't understand why."

"He probably won't," I muttered. "He was only three when I left."

"I agree," Dr. Wise said. His expression became grim again. "I believe that there are some things that happened to Axel after you left." He took a deep breath. "I think he was abused as a child. I'd like to know if you know anything."

"I'm not sure," I said truthfully. "I never saw my parents after I was sent away. I do know from Zexion, who saw them a lot, that they didn't seem like they were very nice people. I can't say for sure, but I think there's a possibility that they're abusive."

"If that's true, then we'll have to be prepared," Dr. Wise said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I know what I have to do."

"Good," Dr. Wise said with a smile. "Would you like to see Axel?"

"Is that all right?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes, of course it is," Dr. Wise answered. "There's no harm now because he remembers who you are and I honestly don't see a problem with you spending a little time with your brother."

"But what if our parents find out?" I asked, worried.

"I wouldn't be concerned about that," Dr. Wise answered with a grim smile. "They will be facing questions about exactly why you were erased from Axel's memories in the first place and everything that implies."

"Why are you doing all this for me?" I asked. "For us?" I hastily corrected.

"Axel is my patient," Dr. Wise responded. "I am merely looking out for his well-being. As his psychotherapist, I believe that living with his parents is an unsafe environment, for not only his mental health, but his physical health as well. I do not want to see Axel have a relapse."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"So are you ready to face your brother again?"

"Yes." I swallowed hard. "I am."

Dr. Wise called a nurse in. "Can you fetch Axel for me?"

"Yes doctor, right away." The nurse nodded, although she looked rather surprised.

I fidgeted in my seat, drumming my fingers on the table's polished surface. I couldn't help it; I was so damn nervous.

Then, the door opened and Axel came in with the nurse who accompanied him (not the nurse who went to get him) lagging behind. I rose from my seat at once and stared at my baby brother, who wasn't a baby anymore.

It had been a good year since the last time I had seen him. He was nearly eighteen now. I first focused on the features I remembered; his vibrant red hair just like mine only wilder and his vivid green eyes—our mother Catherine's eyes. His hair was much longer now, the result of being stuck in the hospital for so long without any chance to get a haircut.

My attention turned to the rest of his features that had changed over time, first his face. He had gotten tattoos under each eye shaped like teardrops when he was sixteen, which wasn't exactly legal, but whatever. Those were still there, though they stood out even more because of his pale complexion.

His jaw line was thinner, hardened, and he looked much older. His clothes were different; instead of the T-shirt and jeans combination I was used to him wearing, he was now dressed even more casually in a pair of faded grey sweatpants that were too large on him and a black T-shirt. He didn't match, more like me than he even realized.

My eyes traveled to his arms folded across his chest. Jagged lines ran in every direction from his burns and subsequent skin grafts. I continued downward, taking in his skinny frame an anorexic would kill for. When I reached his shoes, I looked back up at his face, which was turned toward me. Vivid green eyes were wide in shock and I realized that he hadn't moved since he had entered the room.

After a few moments, Axel finally came forward, faster than I thought, and threw himself at me for a hug. His nurse was still standing in the doorway, looking concerned, but Dr. Wise waved his hand, and she stayed where she was.

I looked down at Axel's red spikes and smiled fondly. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

"I'm so glad to see you," he mumbled.

"Yeah, me too," I replied, still smiling. "I can't stay for long, but I wanted to say hi to you. Well actually, it was Dr. Wise's idea and I just went along with it."

Axel looked over at Dr. Wise and I caught a glimpse of his tear-streaked face. Damn it, now I was crying. I hated how that happened.

"Thank you Ansem. Thank you," Axel said in a weak voice.

Dr. Wise smiled. "You're most welcome, Axel."

"I have to go." I cleared my throat, my eyes watering. "I'll come back and see you again. I promise."

Axel just nodded.

To be continued…

A/N: Boy, was that lame or what? I swear I'm only getting worse at writing. D: Maybe it's just me being angsty.


	23. Chapter 23 Axel

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: This chapter is really really short. I was originally going to combine it with the next chapter, but then I decided to split them back into two so the next chapter won't take as long to post because I'm already pretty far into it. I'm still determined to get this finished by November, or at least as finished as I can so I have less to do when December comes around. It will be finished before the new year. That's a promise.

Chapter 23 Axel

I got a great surprise today. A random nurse I had never seen before came into my room and told me to come with her.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"There's someone here to see you," the nurse answered.

"Who?" I frowned.

The nurse smiled mysteriously. "You'll see."

I followed her out of the room, wondering who could possibly be here to see me. It couldn't be my parents; they didn't care that much about me and it couldn't be Zexion because was already here. I had no idea who else it could be.

When I stepped into the room, I saw Ansem with a redheaded man who looked vaguely familiar. Then, he turned around and I gasped softly.

"Reno!" I cried out.

I ran forward and threw myself into his arms, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm so glad to see you," I mumbled.

"Yeah, I am too," he responded. "I can't stay for long, but I wanted to say hi to you. Well actually, it was Dr. Wise's idea but I just went along with it."

I looked up at Ansem, tears burning in my eyes. It meant so much to me to be able to see him again, this time not as Zexion's godfather, but as my brother.

"Thank you, Ansem. Thank you," I said.

Ansem smiled at me. "You're most welcome, Axel."

Reno cleared his throat. "I have to go. I'll come back and see you again. I promise."

I could only nod. Reno pulled away from me and gently kissed my forehead before leaving.

"It's time for us to go too, Axel," Hannah said from the door. "You need to have breakfast."

"Yeah," I agreed. I was really hungry.

I followed her out of the conference room and to the cafeteria. Everyone else was already there so I grabbed some food and joined Roxas, Zexion and Demyx at our usual table.

"You look happy," Roxas noted as I sat down.

"Do I?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah." Roxas nodded.

"Well," I said slowly. "I met my brother today."

"Reno was here?" Demyx asked.

I nodded.

"That's great!" Demyx smiled.

"Yeah."

We ate our meal in silence. Zexion was only picking at his food, as usual.

"Come on, Zexion," Demyx encouraged. "You've gotta eat something. Anything."

Zexion shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

"I know, but you've still gotta eat. Just a couple bites."

Zexion sighed softly and lifted up a forkful of scrambled eggs and put it in his mouth. He chewed the eggs, swallowed them and then glared up at Demyx.

"Are you happy now?" he asked.

"Yes. Now finish them," Demyx answered, giving Zexion a stern glance. "We're not leaving until you do."

Zexion rolled his eyes and started eating. I was astonished when Zexion's plate was empty. He glared at me.

"What?" he asked.

"Oh nothing," I answered with a smile.

After breakfast, I went with Hannah to Ansem's office for my session.

"Did you like seeing Reno today?" Ansem asked as we got settled.

"Yeah," I answered enthusiastically.

"Good. I'm glad." Ansem smiled. "Are you ready to continue with our hypnotherapy session?"

"Yup." I nodded.

I went and lay down on the couch. I closed my eyes and started doing the deep breathing exercises Ansem taught me, allowing Ansem's voice guide me to the past.

_Reno was at the door with is bags._

"_Reno, where you going?" I asked._

_Reno didn't answer, his blue eyes filled with sadness. I was filled with a sudden fear. I didn't know what was going on. My parents appeared at the door._

"_Come on Reno, let's go," my dad commanded._

_He grabbed Reno's upper arm and dragged him out the door._

"_Reno!" I cried. "Come back Reno! Please!"_

_My mom picked me up and held me as I cried._

"_Is Reno gone?" Ansem's voice cut through my memories. _

"_Yeah," I answered, sniffing softly._

***

Ansem brought me out of my trance. Tears were streaking down my face and I was breathing heavily. Ansem handed me a tissue.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Do you think you're okay to continue?"

"Yeah." I nodded, wiping my eyes with the Kleenex. "I'm good."

I took a deep, shuddering breath, and closed my eyes again. I calmed myself down and slid back into my trance. Ansem brought me to when I was five.

_I started getting scared and I didn't know why._

"_What's wrong?" Ansem asked._

_It was dark and cold. That was the only thing I could tell. There was also a musty smell._

"_The basement?" I asked._

"_Why are you in the basement?" Ansem asked._

"_I've been a bad boy," I said._

_The darkness was penetrating. There was no way for me to escape._

"_Axel? Ansem asked. "Axel!"_

_Something touched my arm. I jerked away._

"_Don't touch me!" I cried. "Don't hurt me! I'll be a good boy! I promise!"_

_I started screaming. I was in pain. My whole body hurt. Blood filled my lungs and I started coughing, trying to breathe, though every breath I took hurt so bad. _

"_Axel, listen to me. Come back to the present moment." The voice was far away. "Come on Axel."_

My eyes flew open. All I could see were lengthening shadows. I screamed and screamed. A man was speaking to me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. He reached out for me. I pulled away. He was going to hurt me!

Someone took my forearm. I tried to get away, kicking and screaming as hard as I could. The blurred face of a man came into view.

"This is a sedative. It'll help you calm down, okay?" he said.

A needle was jabbed into my arm.

I screamed until I blacked out.

To be continued…

A/N: Again, I'm sorry this chapter was short. And please don't kill me for the cliffhanger. Okay? The next chapter will be a whole lot longer and there will be a lot of important stuff revealed. I've already gotten a lot written since I split this chapter in half so it won't take as long for me to get it posted.


	24. Chapter 24 Axel

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: Yeah, I upped the rating to M. It's mostly because of this chapter. There's an AkuZeku lemon in there and though I'm not sure HOW graphic it is, I'd feel better if the rating went up to M. So yeah. And that being said, this chapter is dedicated to MuffinPirate my beta who wanted me to write an AkuZeku lemon. So here it is.

Chapter 24 Axel

When I came to, my throat was hoarse from screaming. All I could see was white and I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe either.

I didn't realize that I had said that out loud until someone put a breathing mask over my nose and mouth. All of a sudden, it was easier to breathe. I looked around, but all I could see were shadows. The darkness crept into the room. I started screaming again as the darkness started overtaking me again. The shadows pinned me down. I heard distorted voices, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I heard footsteps and a soft voice belonging to a woman. Then, I blacked out again.

_I always had an affinity for fire, ever since I was a kid. There was something intriguing about it, probably because it was so dangerous. I had a few friends, but that didn't bother me too much. The only real friend I had was Zexion. We were completely opposite, but it worked. He stood by me through the years._

_My parents didn't like it when I burned things so they sent me to see several therapists. They thought I had ADHD and put me on every medication in existence, which didn't help. The therapists they sent me to also didn't help at all, and eventually my parents gave up on me. _

_Whenever I was bad, they threw me in the basement. Sometimes, my father would shove me through the doorway, and I'd fall down the narrow stairs and hit the concrete floor. The basement was musty and old, never completed. The walls were covered with mold and water dripped down from the ancient pipes. I hated being down there, but there was no way for me to stop my affinity for fire. It just happened._

_In high school, I met Larxene, who was my first love. She was a bitch, abusive and shit. It didn't take long for us to fall apart. Soon after that disaster, Zexion and I started dating. Some people thought it was a rebound, but it didn't matter. I was in love. This time was sure. I could count on him when my parents and I fought to help cheer me up and give me a safe place to stay until both parties had calmed down._

_I remember the first time I kissed Zexion. I had had a little to drink; my parents and I had fought and I had snuck a bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet when they weren't looking. I took a couple sips before leaving so I was a little tipsy when I went to Zexion's apartment. However, it wasn't enough alcohol to impair my judgment. I knew what I was doing._

_Zexion was really surprised to see me there, but let me in anyway. Luckily, Reno was at work—he often worked late. Zexion and I got around to talking and I kissed him. Just like that. No warning, nothing. Just a kiss. Boy was he surprised._

"_I'm sorry," I whispered._

_I wished I hadn't done that. It was stupid. Now everything was going to change. It may seem strange that a simple kiss would change everything, but I knew it would. I was looking for something beyond friendship, and I wasn't sure if Zexion would want the same thing as me. What the hell had I done?_

_Zexion's lips were so close to mine and I was tempted to kiss him again. "Axel, it's okay. It's really okay."_

_Our lips connected again. We shifted our positions so he was much closer to me._

_I hesitated. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to force you into anything you don't feel comfortable doing."_

"_I'm sure, Axel," Zexion replied._

"_Okay." I gently touched Zexion's cheek. "I just wanted to make sure."_

_Zexion smiled. "Thank you."_

_Our lips came back together. I already knew what I was doing. After all, I had dated Larxene. Zexion hadn't dated anyone, male or female._

_I was so embarrassed when Reno interrupted our make-out session. I quickly got up._

"_I'm going to your room, okay Zex?" I said._

"_All right." Zexion nodded._

_I went to Zexion's room and waited on the edge of the bed. I could hear voices out in the living room, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. Finally, Zexion came in carrying his homework in his arms. He set the pile on his desk and walked over to the bed._

"_So what did Reno say?" I asked._

"_He told me to try and keep it down and use a condom," Zexion answered._

_There was a pause and then I burst out laughing. "Oh my god, did he really say that to you?"_

"_Yeah." Zexion looked sheepish._

_I laughed even harder. "Oh my god, I can't believe it. Only Reno would say something like that to you. You know, you should have asked him if he had a spare condom."_

"_Axel!" Zexion protested._

"_I'm kidding!" I chuckled. Zexion glared at me. "I'm just kidding."_

"_So you don't expect us to have sex?" Zexion asked._

"_Not right away," I answered. "Unless you want to, of course. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."_

"_I know," Zexion said. "I'm not sure I'm ready for sex right now."_

_I nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought. See, I know you, Zexion. I know you quite well. Look, I'm cool about waiting, okay?"_

_Zexion nodded and looked relieved. "Thanks Axel."_

_I smiled. "No problem."_

_***_

_We tried to keep our relationship secret, not from Reno, who was supportive, but from my parents. We mostly hung out at Zexion's apartment and whenever my parents were gone (if we were feeling adventurous), we went to my house. I didn't want to move too fast and Zexion seemed to be glad of it. I was afraid that if we moved too fast, everything would get fucked up like it did with Larxene. _

_I had never been with a guy before, but I had the basic idea of what we had to do from Larxene. We were actually pretty sexually active, which was weird because we didn't get along that well. It was more her than me, to be truthful._

_Zexion and I started with hand jobs and after a few months, we moved up to blowjobs. It was a slow procession._

_I will never forget the night Zexion told me he was ready to have sex with me. I had wanted to have sex months ago, but I was fine with waiting. I could've waited forever for him. Okay, maybe not, but I liked to think that I could wait forever for him. _

"_Are you sure?" I asked him._

"_Yeah." Zexion exhaled softly. "I'm ready for this."_

"_You know I won't force you into anything."_

"_Axel, I know," Zexion said impatiently. "I know you've been waiting so patiently and I don't want you to have to wait any longer. I'm finally ready for this."_

"_Zexion…" I murmured, gently cupping his face. "It's okay if we wait even longer. I really don't mind."_

"_Yes you do," Zexion insisted. I stared at him. "I know you, Axel. You've wanted to have sex for ages. You're only waiting for me because I'm not ready. I don't want you to have to wait. Okay?"_

_I stared into his eyes. "All right."_

_Our lips came together and the kissing quickly became hotter. I nipped at his neck, hard enough for him to flinch slightly, but soft enough so it wouldn't leave a mark. I didn't believe in leaving hickeys so the entire world would know what we were doing. _

_It didn't take long for us to lose our shirts. I touched every inch of his pale skin and he touched every inch of mine. Our hands moved lower, taking off each other's pants. All of this was familiar territory for us; we had gone this far so many times before. _

_Zexion lay on the bed on his back, staring at me. He was ready for this. I could see it in his one visible eye. Our hands moved lower, sliding beneath the last bit of clothing that kept us separated. Then, that barrier was gone. I presented my hand to Zexion. He seemed to know what to do because he took my fingers in his mouth and started sucking on them. When they were adequately coated with saliva, I took my hand out of his mouth._

"_This is it," I whispered. "I will ask you one last time. Are you absolutely sure you want this?"_

"_Yes Axel," Zexion replied sternly. "I've made my choice."_

"_Okay." I nodded. "Roll onto your stomach."_

_Zexion obeyed. I slipped a finger into him. He groaned at the contact. Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes and leaked down the sides of his face._

"_I'm sorry," I whispered._

"_It's okay. Don't stop," Zexion wheezed. "Feels…it feels good."_

_I slipped a second finger in, causing Zexion to hiss. I moved the two fingers around, stretching the muscle even though it wasn't going to help—Zexion was so little. Even so, I wanted to make it as painless as possible. Finally, I took my fingers out._

"_Okay. I'm going in," I whispered._

_Zexion nodded. I exhaled softly and pressed into him, trying to be as gentle as I could. I still saw him wince. He cried out and squeezed his eyes shut. His distress made my chest hurt. I wanted sex, yes, but I didn't want to make Zexion suffer for it. I loved him. I just wanted him to be happy. I felt my own eyes burn with tears._

"_I'm sorry Zex. I'm so sorry," I whispered. _

"_Stop apologizing," Zexion said. "I knew it'd hurt. I'm fine."_

_I started thrusting slowly, carefully, going deeper each time. Zexion moaned and arched his back with each thrust. Even though I was trying to be gentle with him since it was his first time, I couldn't help quickening my pace. I reached around Zexion's narrow hips and wrapped around his length. We rocked against each other, the pressure building._

_Zexion released first, moaning and throwing his head back. I thrust a couple more times before releasing. I pulled out of him at last and collapsed beside him. That was how we lay, sweaty and out of breath. I wrapped my arm around his waist._

"_How was that?" I whispered, kissing his earlobe._

"_Wonderful," Zexion answered with a smile._

"_Good. I'm glad."_

_My lips found his for a chaste kiss._

_I was actually happy for a while. It was the happiest I had felt in a long time. Then my parents found out and they weren't happy at all. They made Zexion and me miserable. Basically, they made us break up. My father was (and still is) a very homophobic man. He told me that I was going to burn in hell, so I started to burn._

_It was only a little at first. It made me feel better. I didn't it to escalate into anything big, at least not when I started out. There was a surge of adrenaline that came with burning myself and a sort of giddiness that calmed me. As time went on, I had to burn myself more and more to get that same surge of adrenaline. Then, I finally lost control and almost killed myself. The only thing that kept me alive was Zexion. He had come over to help me study for a math test since math really wasn't my thing. He found me and got me out of there before the entire room burned down. He called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. He saved my life._

_***_

I slowly opened my eyes. A soft voice called out my name. I tried moving, but the only thing I could move was my head. I turned it to the side. The person who had called out to me was Demyx, sitting in a chair by my bed. He held a washcloth in his hands. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled and got up. He leaned over the bed and washed my face with the washcloth, which felt incredibly good—it was cool and my face was covered in sweat.

"How are you feeling?" Demyx asked.

I tried to something, but all that came past my dry lips was a hiss of air.

"I'm…thirsty. Dry," I finally managed to croak out.

"I'll see if the doctor will let you have some ice chips," Demyx said. "I'll be right back."

He set the washcloth on a table and headed out of the room. When he came back, he was smiling.

"Hannah is getting you some ice chips," he said.

He sat back down in the chair and we waited in silence. A few minutes later, Hannah came in with a cup. She handed it to Demyx and came forward to check the machines I was hooked up to.

"You look good," she said.

She left. Demyx took a piece of ice and put it in my mouth.

"Suck on it," he ordered.

I nodded and resisted the urge to bite down on it. We were quiet for a while. I stuck the ice in my cheek so Demyx could understand me.

"Where's Roxas?" the words came out slightly slurred.

"I sent him of to get some sleep a while ago. He was staying with you almost constantly and it was starting to take a toll on him," Demyx explained.

I frowned. Demyx's words barely made sense unless…unless…

"Dem," I croaked. "Dem, how long have I been unconscious?"

"I don't know for sure," Demyx answered. "It's been a really long time though."

"If you had to make a guess, what would you say?" I asked.

Demyx thought for a few moments. "A couple weeks, maybe? I don't really know. I don't have access to a calendar so I don't know how long it's been since you were last lucid. I don't even know how long I've been in this place."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," I interrupted Demyx's little ramble. "Did you say 'weeks' as in more than one?"

"Yeah." Demyx nodded.

"What the hell was wrong with me?"

Demyx shifted uncomfortably. "I…I don't know. I'm not a doctor."

"Yeah, I know that," I said impatiently. "But you must have seen what was happening."

"Well, yeah," Demyx said hesitantly.

"Just tell me what was going on!" I snapped.

Demyx sighed softly. "You were completely out of your mind. You screamed incoherently and thrashed around violently. You were sedated and restrained almost constantly and you had several seizures. It was scary as hell to watch."

"Fuck," I whispered. It made me sick. "Where's Zexion?"

"He was here earlier, but he had to go to his session with Dr. Wise and Reno. Zexion and Reno have been having weekly sessions with him," Demyx answered.

I finished the ice chip I was on and Demyx gave me another one.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

Demyx nodded and watched me. We were silent for a while again. I hated the silence. It made me uncomfortable. I had to say something. Anything. Desperately, I cast my mind around for something to say.

"I remember," I said. Demyx stared at me. "I remember what happened to me as a kid and I know why I'm so fucked up. My father would drag me by the arm and lock me in the basement whenever I did something bad."

"I'm sorry," Demyx whispered.

I shrugged. "It's not your fault I have terrible parents."

Demyx didn't have a response for this.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, that was intense. And long. Unfortunetly, I don't think the rest of the chapters are going to be that long. I'll try my best, but I'm not convinced. Oh well. I'm getting excited now that things are falling into place and are beginning to wrap up. It's always good to reach the end of something, especially if you've been working on it for a long time.


	25. Chapter 25 Demyx

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

Chapter 25 Demyx

I was extremely scared when Axel had his seizure, but it was nothing compared to what happened after one of Axel's sessions. I knew that Axel was going through hypnotherapy to try and help his memories resurface, but I never expected him to have a complete breakdown.

The first I knew about it was when Hannah and some other nurses brought him in. They carried him in between them, which was an incredible feat even though Axel was already pretty light.

"What's going on?" I asked, rising from my bed.

None of the nurses answered, focusing on getting Axel to his bed. About halfway there, Axel started screaming and thrashing around violently. It was only then that I realized that Axel was completely out of his mind.

It scared me that Axel was lost to some inner demon. He had been so normal, at least compared to some of the other patients. He could hold a normal conversation with people and as long as no one grabbed him by the arm, he was fine. Except for those outbursts, which started lessening after Axel's hypnotherapy sessions, it was hard to tell that Axel was mentally ill. Everyone in the ward thought he was going to be the first one to go home because it was clear that he was getting better. It gave us hope because if it happened to Axel, maybe it could happen to us too.

I backed away, trying to find a way out.

Aerith stepped forward. "Demyx, come on." Her tone was gentle. "Let's go somewhere quieter, okay?"

I couldn't move. My feet seemed to be pinned to the ground and I couldn't breathe.

"Oh god. Oh god," I whimpered.

I wrapped my arms around myself and sank to my knees.

"Demyx, breathe," Aerith urged. She had come over to me at some point and was crouching down. "It's going to be all right. Everything is going to be all right."

How could she say that? She didn't know for sure. It was possible that Axel would never recover and be completely out of his mind forever. Just like Saix.

Aerith's voice brought me back. "Can you bring me a sedative for Demyx? He's having a panic attack and it's the only way to get him to calm down."

"All right," a nurse replied.

I started sobbing, wrapping my arms tightly around my knees. Aerith gently touched my arm and I looked up at her.

"I'm going to give you a light sedative that'll help you sleep, okay Demyx?" she asked.

I nodded. Anything to help me escape from this was welcome. Aerith gently took my arm and dabbed at it with an alcohol swab. Then, she slid a needle in. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as the needle slid under my skin. Aerith pushed the sedative into my system and removed the needle.

She handed me a square of gauze that I pressed against the bleeding wound. Aerith wrapped some medical tape around the gauze and helped me to bed. Axel's tortured screams still rang in my ears as I slipped into unconsciousness.

When I woke up the next morning, Axel was silent. I crawled out of bed and walked over to his side of the room. I looked down at him. He was hooked up to many machines and his entire body was restrained.

I turned when the door opened. Aerith came in.

"Good morning Demyx," she said cheerfully.

"Is Axel…?" I asked.

"He's being sedated and restrained for now so he won't hurt himself or others," Aerith said.

"O…oh," I managed to say.

"How are you feeling?" Aerith asked, peering anxiously at me.

"A bit groggy," I answered.

Aerith nodded. "The sedative hasn't completely worn off yet, but it will with a bit of breakfast."

"Okay." I nodded.

"I'll wait outside for you until you're done changing," Aerith said.

She left. Sighing softly, I changed into my regular outfit of sweatpants and a random shirt from my drawer. I didn't match, but around here, it didn't matter. No one matched.

I put my pajamas back in the drawer and opened the door. As she said, Aerith was waiting outside.

"Ready to go to breakfast?" she asked.

"Yeah." I nodded again.

We went to the cafeteria together. Breakfast was subdued—obviously everyone had heard about what happened to Axel. I slipped into the seat next to Roxas, which was usually occupied by Axel. Roxas looked up.

"How is Axel doing?" he asked. "I can't visit him right now, but you're his roommate."

"They're keeping Axel sedated because he might hurt himself or others," I answered.

Across the table, Zexion looked even more depressed than usual. He stared at his plate, apparently lost in thought. His food was untouched at the end of the meal.

After breakfast, we had a free period. Zexion left to have a special session with Dr. Wise, not at the usual time, so it was just Roxas and me. We sat in a corner away from all the others. My guitar lay on my lap. I didn't feel like playing today.

"Demyx?" Roxas asked softly. I looked up. "How is Axel really? Please tell me the truth. I can handle it."

I sighed softly. "Axel isn't doing so great." Roxas looked like he wanted to cry. I had to continue, though. Roxas wanted to know and he wanted to know the truth, no matter how hard it was to take. "He's completely out of his mind. He'll scream for no apparent reason as loud as he can and start violently writhing around like he's being hurt or something. It's hard to watch. He screams like Saix."

As if on cue, Saix started screaming from his room. Today he was answered by someone. After a few moments, I realized the one screaming in response to Saix was Axel. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to be sick. A soft choking sound caused me to open my eyes. It was Roxas. He was…crying.

I carefully set my guitar aside and wrapped my arms around him comfortingly. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned against my chest. Tears leaked from my eyes and dropped into Roxas's hair. We clung to each other, able to share our grief. It was comforting to hold him and have him hold me.

Luxord started yelling and basically threw a temper tantrum. This set Xigbar off, who started throwing things—whatever he could get his hands on and actually lift. The girls started crying. Roxas and I just sat there, unsure of what we should do. Sitting there seemed to be our best option—we were out of the way and safe from harm. No one seemed to notice our presence here. Yes, we would just wait for the nurses to get everything under control.

"We'll just stay here, okay?" I whispered to Roxas. "We're safe here and out of the way."

Roxas only nodded. The nurses dragged Luxord and Xigbar out of the room and back to their own rooms so they could be sedated and restrained until they calmed down. Luckily, the nurses and other general staff here were well-trained and they had a lot of practice, so it was easy for them to restore calm.

Yuffie corralled all of us into the arts and crafts room and got everyone calmed down and working on one project or another. Finally, it fell silent, but the silence was even worse.

To be continued…

A/N: My story isn't linear anymore. What happened? –starts whimpering pathetically- I'm not even sure I fully understand it. XD Okay, so Axel has a mental breakdown in chapter 24 and he's in and out of consciousness for a long time. He has a (really long) flashback. When he wakes up at the end of the chapter, a long period of time has passed. Chapter 25 starts to explore what happened to the others while Axel is out of it. That's what I get for writing a story from multiple POVs.


	26. Chapter 26 Zexion

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

Chapter 26 Zexion

I had my first session with Dr. Wise and Reno today. It was really interesting. I had been to group therapy before with other patients in the ward, but I never had family therapy before. It wasn't something any of my therapists ever suggested we try.

We held the session in Dr. Wise's office. I sat in my regular chair and Reno took another armchair next to me. Dr. Wise sat on the couch with his clipboard.

"Well, here we are," Dr. Wise started out.

"Yeah." Reno exhaled softly.

"Are you nervous, Reno?" Dr. Wise asked.

"No!" Reno answered at once. "Well…kind of. I just…I've never done this before. Therapy I mean. It's new territory for me."

"That's understandable," Dr. Wise said with a smile. "Doing new things can often be frightening. Going into new territory can make you hesitate. It's good to try to do something you've never done before, something that scares you." He turned to me. "What do you think of all this?"

"It's a bit overwhelming," I mumbled. "Never done this before."

"But you've had therapy before," Dr. Wise stated.

"Yes," I agreed. "I've just never had family therapy before. It wasn't something any of my other therapists thought we should do. I don't know if they thought it wouldn't help or if they just didn't think of it in the first place."

"You'll find it's quite different from individual therapy or even the group therapy we do here," Dr. Wise said. "The focus is on you and the relationship with your family. Now I know there will be an urge for you to edit your thoughts and not talk about what you're feeling, but I ask you to try not to do that. It's important for you and Reno to be honest with yourselves and each other."

"We have a good relationship," Reno said. "We get along just fine and we don't argue that much, except when Zexion tries to kill himself."

"Zexion?" Dr. Wise asked.

"I like Reno. A lot. He's really nice and he cares for me. He's always been there," I replied.

"Well that's good to know." Reno smiled at me. I tentatively returned the smile.

"If I'm to understand things correctly, you've been taking care of Zexion since he was ten?" Dr. Wise asked.

"Yeah," Reno answered. "Since the accident."

"Our two families have been friends for a long time," I supplied. "Reno was named my godfather."

"Did you know this fact before the accident?" Dr. Wise asked.

"Yes." I nodded. "I was seven when I was baptized, so I was aware of what was going on. I was introduced to Reno and my parents explained that if something ever happened to them, he would take care of me."

"After the accident, it was really stressful," Reno said. "They were trying to figure out what to do with Zexion, who he should live with, and stuff."

"Who's 'they'?" Dr. Wise asked with a frown.

"Social Services," Reno answered. "It came down to either me or Zexion's sister, Paine, who was a lesbian. They chose me." Reno shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you feel guilty that Social Services chose you over Paine? Like it was your fault they refused Paine?"

"Yeah," Reno admitted.

I stared at him. "I never knew that."

"It's not something that's easy to admit," Reno said with a sad smile.

"Why do you feel guilty?" Dr. Wise asked.

"I just thought…they were being unfair. Paine was perfectly capable of taking care of Zexion. They only chose me because I was straight and single. There was not an issue with money—both of us made the same amount of money. I think…maybe I shouldn't have fought as hard as I did to win custody of Zexion so Paine had a better chance of making her case."

"But Paine hadn't seen me in a couple years," I spoke up. "Maybe they thought it would be awkward or something."

"That could be," Dr. Wise said. "We don't know why Social Services chose you to raise Zexion. It could have been any number of factors. My point is, it's not your fault, so you don't have to blame yourself."

"Okay," Reno mumbled.

"Now, Zexion became depressed soon after the accident, right?" Dr. Wise asked.

"Yeah," Reno answered. "I noticed changes in his mood. He had always been quiet, but not like he was. He stopped eating and became listless. He wouldn't talk to me about what was wrong so I took him to the doctor. He suggested a shrink, so I took him to see one. I just wanted him to be happy. You know?"

The session dragged on. Reno did most of the talking, but Dr. Wise occasionally directed questions at me, which I answered the best I could. I was trying my hardest to change. I was trying to become a better person because I realized that I had been given a second chance.

It's all thanks to Demyx. He's been the one to help me realize that. He means a lot to me now and I want to do everything I can to not lose him like I lost Axel. I was stronger now and I was ready to change.

"You've become quiet all of a sudden," Dr. Wise noted, breaking into my thoughts.

I ducked my head, my face growing warm. "I was just thinking about some things."

"I hope they are good things you are thinking about," Dr. Wise said.

"They are," I assured him.

"Would you care to elaborate a little on those thoughts?" Dr. Wise asked. "You don't have to share all your thoughts with us, but it would be nice to know at least a bit of what you are thinking."

I opened my mouth to respond at least a little to Dr. Wise's request, but Saix started screaming. Reno looked startled, but Dr. Wise had already told him ahead of time what to expect. Reno knew that things could be unpredictable here, but none of us were prepared when Axel started screaming.

"Oh my god," Reno whispered. "Is that…is that Axel?"

"Yeah," I replied, a cold knot forming in the pit of my stomach. "It's him."

"Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?" Reno's voice rose.

I wasn't sure if his anger was directed at me or Dr. Wise. I sat with my eyes downcast and my hands wrung together. My grip tightened as Axel's screaming got worse.

"Zexion!" Reno's sharp voice caught me off guard. He reached over and pried my hands apart. "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep clenching your hands together like that."

"Sorry," I mumbled. Reno didn't let go of my hands.

"I think it's wise if we end our session early today," Dr. Wise said.

"Okay," Reno replied.

"Zexion, is that all right with you?" Dr. Wise asked.

"Yeah," I said in a weak voice.

"Then we'll continue next week," Dr. Wise said.

I stood up, forcing Reno to let go of my hands. Rebecca was waiting for me outside the door to Dr. Wise's office. It was finally silent, but the silence made me feel even worse. Rebecca escorted me to the arts and crafts room, where everyone else was. Xigbar and Luxord were both missing and everyone else looked upset, especially Demyx and Roxas. Something must have happened. Probably because of Saix and Axel's screaming match.

I was given an easel on Demyx's left side, put in a smock, and left alone. I picked up the paintbrush waiting for me, and dipped it in the black paint. I closed my eyes and let my hand move freely across the paper.

I didn't look at what I was painting, though I did open my eyes so I could see to clean off my paintbrush and pick out a new color. This time, I chose red. I closed my eyes again and started painting. The flames were everywhere, though they didn't consume me. I chose green next, two bright emeralds staring at me. Several more times, I chanced colors, painting what I saw in my mind.

Finally, I dropped the brush in the water and opened my eyes. I had drawn Axel the day I had found him in his room burning. It was an image I could never forget. Demyx looked over at my painting.

"Wow, that's really good," he said.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"It's Axel, right?" Demyx asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I don't know why I drew him. I just closed my eyes and drew what I saw in my mind. It's…" I hesitated for a moment. "It's the day I found him in his room when he burned himself and had to be hospitalized."

"It's really good." Demyx smiled.

"All right everyone, it's time for lunch," Yuffie announced. "Leave your paintings here so they can dry. We'll come back after lunch and pick them up. Let's go to the bathrooms and wash up."

We trailed after her to the bathrooms. We washed our hands and arms and went to lunch. It was very subdued, just like breakfast.

I stared at my plate. The very thought of food made me sick and thinking about eating it made feel even worse. Demyx looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

I was kind of glad—I didn't want another lecture. I knew it was bad that I wasn't eating, but I just couldn't bring myself to take even one bite of the food in front of me.

Lunch seemed to take forever. Finally, it ended, and we had a music lesson followed by some quiet time where we did individual tasks that kept us, well, quiet.

That didn't last very long; Axel started screaming again. The girls started crying. I didn't even realize I was crying until Demyx handed me a tissue. I accepted it without a word and wiped the moisture from my face. No matter how hard I wiped, the tears just kept coming.

The tissue dropped from my hand and I doubled over in pain. My stomach hurt so much. Was I trying to throw up? Nothing was coming up.

"Zexion?" Demyx asked even though we were supposed to be quiet. "Zexion, what's wrong?"

I gave a quiet sob. I was dizzy and felt so sick.

"Come on, Zexion," Rebecca said in a gentle voice. "Let's go back to your room, okay?"

I silently nodded and followed her out of the room. Axel's screams finally died away again. Rebecca brought me into my room.

"Why don't you lie down for a while?" she suggested. "It might make you feel better."

I crossed the room and collapsed on my bed. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I never heard my nurse leave.

To be continued…

A/N: Thanks to FinalFallenFantasy for pointing out my typo. And boy was it a doozy.


	27. Chapter 27 Roxas

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

Chapter 27 Roxas

Days passed and Axel didn't get any better. Demyx pleaded and pleaded with Dr. Wise until he finally let Zexion and me visit him. While everyone else was having a music lesson, Zexion and I went with Demyx to pay Axel a visit.

Demyx went in first, Zexion behind. I hesitated at the door, unsure if I could do this. The feeling of uncertainty soon passed and I went in. Demyx and Zexion stood on the other side of the room, crowded around Axel's bed. I joined them.

Almost at once, I wished I hadn't looked down at Axel. Dear God, he was a mess. It made me feel sick to see how bad off he was. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines and his whole body was restrained by thick leather straps. He wasn't at peace in his unconscious state; his face was contorted in pain and his breath clouded the inside of the breathing mask over his nose and mouth.

All of a sudden, Zexion pushed past me, running out of the room as fast as he could. The expression on his face was a mixture of terror, pain, and confusion. It looked like he didn't know if he wanted to scream, cry, or throw things across the room. Demyx turned to me.

"I'm going to make sure he's all right," he said.

"Okay." I nodded. "I'm going to stay here with Axel." Demyx left. I took a deep breath and placed my hand on top of Axel's. "Hey Axel. It's me, Roxas. I don't know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm here. All right?" My voice trembled. "I really hope you wake up soon because I miss you."

I stayed by his side as much as they would let me. I stayed and stayed, even when Axel had his screaming fits and Demyx got so upset he had to be sedated. It hurt like hell to stay, but I did. I just took a deep breath when I felt myself getting upset and tried to keep myself calm.

It was a rough time for all of us, but especially for Zexion and Demyx. They had to deal with Axel the most. Well at least Demyx did. He had to constantly deal with Axel's screaming spells and it always upset him. I didn't let them bother me. At least, I tried to. That had to count for something, right?

Zexion was just upset in general. Not that I really blame him—Axel is his only real friend and they've known each other since they were kids. He sort of has a right to be upset over this.

I was surprised when Zexion came up to me one day at breakfast before Demyx arrived.

"Why do you stay?" Zexion asked. He sounded curious above all else. "With Axel, I mean. Why do you stay even though it breaks your heart?"

"I stay because I love him," I answered after a bit of hesitation. The thought had been gnawing at me for a while, but I had never vocalized it to anyone, not even to Dr. Wise. "I stay because I'm afraid of losing him again. I almost lost Axel once and I don't want to lose him again. He means everything to me."

"You're a strong person," Zexion murmured, his eyes downcast.

"What about you?" I asked.

Zexion looked up at me. "What about me?"

"Are you just going to let the person you care about vanish from you life without ever letting him know how you feel?" I asked. Zexion didn't respond. He shifted nervously. I knew then that my suspicions about Zexion's feelings were right. My tone softened. "I know Demyx loves you. I can just tell. He's healed you. You may not notice it, but I can tell that you've changed for the better. He's done that."

"I know," Zexion whispered. "I'm just scared."

I gently touched him on the shoulder. "I know. I've been scared too. Axel told me that he loved me and I didn't know how to react. No one had ever told me that before. I didn't think I deserved to be loved. Who knows? Maybe I do and maybe I don't. I know I'll find the answer one day. And I want Axel there. That's about all I know right now."

Zexion nodded. He didn't say anything more, but he looked satisfied. I hoped things would work out for him, I really did. He didn't deserve all this pain. His life was a good example of how just unfair life is. He had loving parents and they were taken away from him. He found love with Axel, but that got taken away too. Now he had nothing left.

Well, I shouldn't say that. He still has Reno and if he's anything like Axel, then I know he's been in good hands.

That afternoon, I had my usual session with Dr. Wise.

"How are you doing today, Roxas?" he asked as we got settled in.

"Good," I answered truthfully. "Really good."

"Well I'm glad to hear that," Dr. Wise said. "I've been told that you've been spending a lot of time in Axel and Demyx's room visiting Axel."

"Yeah." I nodded. "I've been by Axel's side a lot, you know, keeping him company and stuff. I'm glad you let me visit him."

"You like talking about Axel, don't you?" Dr. Wise asked.

I nodded, my face warm. This was starting to get really awkward.

"It's not a bad thing," Dr. Wise assured me. "I just don't want you to run from your feelings. You need to confront them at some point or else you're never going to be able to more on."

"Yeah, I know," I said. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Roxas, what is it?" Dr. Wise asked. "You look like you want to say something, but are having a hard time trying to get it out. Remember, this is a safe place where you can let out your feelings and you won't be judged. Okay?"

I nodded and let out a long breath. "Dr. Wise, I love Axel."

Dr. Wise looked surprised, but quickly recovered. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded. "I've known it for a while, but I haven't really acknowledged it too much and I certainly haven't vocalized it."

"What brought it on then, your sudden desire to vocalize your feelings?" Dr. Wise asked. "Why now?"

"Well, Zexion asked me today curiously why I stay by Axel's side all the time even though it's hard and I replied that it was because I loved him," I answered. "It was the first thing I thought of. The thought had been there for a long time, but I had never vocalized it before."

"Well, now that the thought is out there and has finally been vocalized, how does it feel?" Dr. Wise asked.

"It feels good," I answered. "I was scared to vocalize how I was feeling because I thought no one would listen to me."

"Because of your parents?"

"Exactly." I nodded. "I started thinking, 'what is the point of telling people how I feel if no one is going to listen to me anyway?' I started locking my feelings up inside me and that just became normal for me."

"And then you met Axel," Dr. Wise stated softly.

"And then I met Axel," I confirmed. "He really weirded me out for the first couple weeks. He wasn't like anyone else I had met before."

"What about Axel made you feel uncomfortable?" Dr. Wise asked.

"It was a lot of things," I replied. "His appearance for one thing. He was basically the first person I saw after I woke up in the hospital. All of a sudden, I saw this guy with bright red hair that was just everywhere and really vivid green eyes with tattoos under each eye. It was quite overwhelming. The other thing is his personality. I wasn't used to being around someone with such a…outgoing personality."

"Yes, I understand." Dr. Wise chuckled softly. "Axel can be quite a handful sometimes."

"And he didn't seem afraid to speak his mind," I continued. "I guess I always admired that about him. He wasn't afraid to let people know how he was feeling." I sighed softly. "I just wish I would have told him sooner how I felt about him."

"Is this feeling mutual?" Dr. Wise asked.

"It is." I nodded. "Axel and I had a conversation a while back, before Axel had his…" I hesitated for a moment. "Before his mental breakdown. During that conversation, he told me he loved me. I wasn't sure when he told me that I felt the same way, but now I'm sure and I can't tell Axel because he's fucked up." I started crying softly. Dr. Wise handed me a tissue.

"It's not too late to let Axel know how you feel," he said soothingly. "Axel isn't dying. He's just temporarily incapacitated."

"We don't know when Axel is going to wake up, if he ever does!" I burst out. "We don't know if he's ever going to be coherent again!" I bit my lip to keep myself from crying any more.

"Have faith, Roxas," Dr. Wise said. "Axel will get well again."

I wished I could believe him, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

To be continued…

A/N: Oops, I got off on a bit of a tangent during Roxas and Dr. Wise's conversation. Oh well. Only two full chapters plus an epilogue to go until this is finished! I'm really excited!! It's about time this thing got finished. I've been working on it for over a year now. Then it'll be onto Tattered Soul, which hasn't been updated in over a year. Oops!


	28. Chapter 28 Demyx

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

Chapter 28 Demyx

Axel woke up at last.

The day started off normally enough. I got up after having been sedated the night before because of Axel's screaming fit. Roxas was sitting by Axel's side in a chair Aerith had brought in for him so he wouldn't have to stand all the time. He had stayed up all night with Axel for the third time. He's barely left Axel's side. Talk about a dedicated kid.

Shaking my head, I turned away and got dressed. It was a bit uncomfortable getting dressed while Roxas was right there, but I had gotten used to it. It wasn't like he was really paying attention to what I was doing—his attention was focused on Axel. I really admired his dedication.

After I finished getting dressed and put my pajamas away, I turned around.

"Why don't you go and get some breakfast and then go get some sleep?" I suggested. "You look incredibly worn out."

"I don't know," Roxas replied uncertainly. "I don't really want to leave Axel by himself."

I thought for a few moments. "After breakfast, I'll sit with him, okay?" Roxas looked startled "I insist. You really need to get some rest. It's important you take care of yourself. I understand that you're really worried about Axel. All of us are worried about him. But you can't take care of him if you don't take care of yourself."

"All right," Roxas finally agreed. I smiled and gently patted him on the shoulder.

After breakfast, as I promised, I went back to the room with Aerith and sat by Axel's side. He did make a bit of an improvement yesterday—he was conscious enough to mumble that he couldn't breathe. But then he had another screaming episode and had to be sedated. Now he had a high fever that had everyone worried.

I dipped a washcloth in a bowl of cool water Hannah had brought in and gently washed Axel's face. He mumbled something incoherently and turned his head with a quiet sigh.

I stayed by Axel's side all day, only leaving to eat. Roxas wasn't at lunch so I assumed he was sleeping. When I asked Zexion, he nodded.

"Roxas has been asleep all day," he said softly. "Nothing's been able to wake him up."

"Good." I smiled. "Roxas really needs the sleep. He hasn't slept in three days."

After lunch, I went back and sat by Axel's side again. All of a sudden, he started having another screaming fit. I wasn't prepared at all. It was completely out of the blue. He started screaming and wildly thrashed around as his restraints would let him.

I toppled over in my chair. I lay on my back, trying to calm myself down. I had to be strong. For all my life, I had been weak. Well, no longer. I wasn't going to be a coward anymore. I wouldn't let Axel's screaming fits affect me.

Taking a deep breath, I picked myself up off the floor and fixed my chair, just as Hannah and several other nurses came running in. Axel was quickly sedated.

It took a few minutes, but the drugs finally kicked in, and he fell silent. I waited until I was sure he was out before sitting back down.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," I said to Axel. "I think I can honestly say that you're getting better. You didn't freak me out nearly as bad as usual. Sure, I guess a bit of it was me, but I noticed your screaming fit wasn't as intense as it usually was." I laughed nervously. "I probably sound like a complete idiot right now. Not that it's weird for me to sound like an idiot." I sighed softly. "You'd better wake up soon, you hear me? Roxas, Zexion, and I have done enough worrying to last a dozen lifetimes."

Several more hours passed. I just sat there, staring down at Axel's still form the whole time. Then, he started stirring. I froze, afraid that he was going to have another one of his screaming fits, but he didn't. Was it just me or was Axel trying to return to consciousness?

"Axel?" I asked, hardly daring to believe it.

Axel shifted slightly, his eyelashes lightly fluttering against his cheeks. He opened his mouth and let out a quiet sigh. Finally, his eyes opened. Emerald orbs glazed with fever stared at me, confused. Oh my god, I think he's lucid.

I smiled and got up from my chair, taking the washcloth from its place in the bowl. I wrung it out and bathed Axel's face.

"How are you feeling?" I asked once I had finished.

Axel tried to say something, but nothing came out.

"I'm…thirsty. Dry," he said at last in a raspy voice. I could barely understand him.

"I'll see if the doctor will let you have some ice chips," I said. I put the washcloth on the table and let. I still couldn't believe it. It seemed too good to be true. I found Hannah down the hall.

"Yes Demyx?" she asked when she saw me coming toward her.

"Where is Dr. Xemnas?" I asked. "Axel uh…well he's awake. I mean really awake. As in he's aware of his surroundings."

Hannah stared at me for a few moments. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I'll go get Dr. Xemnas," Hannah said.

She hurried off. I stood there, not sure what else I should do. A few minutes later, Hannah came back with Dr. Xemnas, Dr. Wise, and Dr. Xehanort. Xemnas was an actual doctor and Xehanort was Axel's psychiatrist. Both of them were really creepy.

"Demyx, tell me what happened," Dr. Wise said calmly.

"I was sitting by Axel's side after his last screaming spell and after he had been sedated. I realized that he was starting to stir and at first, I thought he was going to have another screaming spell," I answered. "Then I realized that he was trying to wake up. It took a while, but he finally opened his eyes. Not only that, he was also lucid. His eyes were glazed with fever, but I could tell that he was aware of where he was. I asked him how he was and he said he was thirsty so I came to find Dr. Xemnas to see if it'd be okay for Axel to have some ice chips or something."

"What do you think, doctor?" Hannah asked, turning to Dr. Xemnas.

"I think it would be wise to let Axel have some ice chips," Dr. Xemnas said slowly. "We cannot allow him to become dehydrated. Hannah, can you fetch a cup of ice chips for Axel?"

"Of course." Hannah nodded.

I went back to Axel and my room. Neither of us said anything as I took my seat again. Hannah came in with a cup that she handed to me. Then, she checked the machines Axel was hooked up to and said he looked good. Then, she left.

I got up and took a piece of ice. As carefully as I could, I put it in Axel's mouth.

"Suck on it," I said.

Axel nodded. He was silent for a while.

"Where's Roxas?" he slurred.

"I sent him off to get some sleep a while ago," I explained. "He was staying with you almost constantly and it was starting to take a toll on him."

Axel frowned. "Dem, how long have I been unconscious?"

"I don't know," I answered. "It's been a really long time, though."

"If you had to make a guess, what would you say?" Axel asked.

I thought for a few moments. "A couple weeks, maybe? I don't really know. I don't have access to a calendar so I don't know how long it's been since you were last lucid. I don't even know how long I've been in this place."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Axel interrupted. "Did you say 'weeks' as in more than one?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"What the hell was wrong with me?" Axel demanded.

I shifted uncomfortably at Axel's harsh tone. "I…I don't know. I'm not a doctor."

"Yeah, I know that," Axel said impatiently. "But you must have seen what was happening."

"Well, yeah," I said hesitatingly.

"Just tell me what was going on!" Axel snapped.

I sighed softly. I really didn't want to be the one to tell him this. "You were completely out of your mind. You screamed incoherently and thrashed around violently. You were sedated and restrained almost constantly and you had several seizures. It was scary as hell to watch."

"Fuck," Axel whispered. "Where's Zexion?"

"He was here earlier, but he had to go to his session with Dr. Wise and Reno. Zexion and Reno have been having weekly sessions with him."

Axel swallowed his ice chip and I gave him another one.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

We were silent for a while again.

"I remember," Axel suddenly said. I stared at him. "I remember what happened to me as a kid and I know why I'm so fucked up. My father would drag me by the arm and lock me in the basement whenever I did something wrong."

I was stunned—Axel had shared this very personal piece of information with me, of all people. I didn't know how to respond to this. What could I say?

"I'm sorry," I finally decided to say.

Axel shrugged. "It's not your fault I have terrible parents."

I didn't know how to respond to that either. Fortunately, I was spared from having to say anything because Dr. Xemnas, Dr. Wise, and Dr. Xehanort came in. I got shooed out so they could do an examination.

I decided to go find Zexion and Roxas and tell them that Axel was awake. I met up with Aerith and the two of us went to Roxas and Zexion's room. When I got there, I found that Roxas was peacefully sleeping. Zexion was sitting up in bed reading a book. He heard me come in and lowered his book, looking at me curiously.

"What's wrong Demyx?" he asked softly so he wouldn't wake Roxas up.

I smiled. "Axel is awake."

To be continued…

A/N: This has been a busy week. I've been overloaded with homework and assignments that are all due at roughly the same time. The only thing that's keeping me sane is the fact that I work on my homework and other assignments for half an hour and then take a half hour break and write. That's the only reason I'm still sane right now. If there are any typos, I apologize, because I haven't gone back through and proofread any of it. Not in the mood.


	29. Chapter 29 Zexion

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: this is the last full chapter. The next chapter is an epilogue so it's not actually going to be a full chapter, though maybe it'll end up being one. I don't know yet.

Chapter 29 Zexion

I was surprised to hear that Axel was awake and lucid. It almost seemed too good to be true. Still, I went with Demyx to Axel's room to see him, letting Roxas sleep a while longer. I knew he'd be angry that we didn't wake him up right away after we found out that Axel was awake, but neither Demyx nor I had the heart to wake him up. He so badly needed the rest.

When he got to Axel and Demyx's room, I saw that Axel was indeed awake and in his right mind. Vivid green eyes were alert and followed me as I crossed the room. Pale lips curled up into Axel's trademark smirk as I got nearer.

"Oh my god," I whispered, sinking into the chair by Axel's side.

"Aw, come on," Axel protested. "I've been out of my mind literally for the past couple weeks and I finally wake up, and all you can say is 'oh my god'? Come on, I think I should get a 'hi Axel, I'm so glad you're awake' at the very least."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm just really shocked."

"Aw, it's okay. I was just kidding." Axel waved away the apology. "Lighten up, Zex."

Axel sounded so much like his old self. It brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm really glad you're awake," I said. "I was really worried that you weren't ever going to wake up." The tears rolled down my face.

"Hey, don't cry," Axel said. "I'm sorry I worried you."

I smiled and wiped the tears away. "It's okay." I took a shuddering breath and turned to Demyx. "I'm going to get Roxas up so he can see Axel. I know he really needs to sleep, but Axel means so much to him and I know it'll make him so happy."

"Okay." Demyx nodded. "I understand."

I hurried out of Axel's room and down the hall to Roxas and my room. I hesitated for a moment before gently shaking him.

"Wake up Roxas," I said softly. Roxas slowly opened his eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but I wanted to tell you that Axel is awake and lucid," I said.

Roxas was awake at once. "What?! Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"I didn't want to wake you up because you needed the sleep so bad." I didn't flinch at the harsh tone Roxas used. "I decided that it would be better to let you sleep for a while. If you want, I'll take you to see Axel now, okay?"

Roxas nodded and quickly got up. I turned around while he got dressed. When he was ready, we went Axel's room. Roxas stopped in the doorway and gave a soft cry. He ran forward and gave a soft cry. He ran forward and gently clasped Axel's hand. Axel smiled. It was a genuine smile, something I hadn't seen from him in so long. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen him smile like that. It made my stomach hurt. Roxas was smiling too, his stunning blue eyes filled with tears.

"Rox...as," Axel croaked.

"Hey Axel." Roxas smiled. "I'm glad you're awake. I was really worried."

"Really?" Axel asked. I could detect a bit of bitterness in his tone.

"Yes." Roxas nodded. His expression was tender as he brushed Axel's sweat-soaked bangs out of his eyes. "I…love you."

The pain in my stomach grew. Axel was looking so much happier than I had seen him in a long time. I wasn't the one who was making him happy. It wasn't possible for that to happen; I was damaged. The only thing I could do was bring unhappiness to everyone around me.

It hurt so much to see how much Roxas cared for him and that he could bring Axel happiness. I could feel what was left of my heart shattering into a million pieces. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned, I found that it was Demyx.

"Do you want to go somewhere so we can talk?" he asked softly. I nodded and numbly followed him out of the room. Once we were in the hallway, he turned to me anxiously. "Do you want to go sit down somewhere?" I nodded absently.

Demyx took my hand and led me into one of the conference rooms that was never used. He forced me to sit in the closest chair.

"Do you want me to call your nurse?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I just want to sit for a minute."

"Okay," Demyx said softly.

I tried as hard as I could to try and keep myself from crying. Demyx hovered in the background, watching me anxiously. I took in several deep breaths, forcing my tears back. Finally, I gave in, and started sobbing quietly, hunching over in my seat. I don't know how long I cried, but at last, I couldn't anymore, and straightened up, fiercely wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'm so selfish," I muttered.

"Why?" Demyx asked. He shook his head. "It's not my business. You don't have to tell me."

"It's okay," I said. "I think I'm ready to talk about it. I think it'll help to talk to someone besides Dr. Wise."

"All right." Demyx sat in the chair next to mine. He reached over and took my hand. "Is it okay if I hold your hand like this?"

I nodded. "It's calming."

"Good." Demyx smiled.

I took a deep breath. "Axel and I were…close. Really close. We've been best friends since we were young. We helped each other through the ups and downs of life. My parents were killed in a car accident and I went to live with Axel's brother, though I didn't know that Reno was his brother at the time. I found that out later. But you know all this already, don't you?"

"Most of it," Demyx replied.

"Well, there's more," I said. "Axel's parents weren't…the nicest parents. I always thought…they abused him, though I was never sure."

"They did," Demyx interrupted. I stared at him. "Axel told me. He remembers what happened to him. His dad would grab him by the arm and lock him in the basement whenever he did something bad."

The news hit me hard. "Oh my god." I felt sick. I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes.

"Zexion!" Demyx cried out.

"I can't believe it," I whispered. "And yet, it makes sense. It totally fits. Why didn't I see this before?"

"It's not something that's easy to see," Demyx said. "I had no idea until Axel told me and if he hadn't, I never would have realized it." He took my hand and gently squeezed it.

I jumped out of my trance. "Where was I?"

"Axel's abuse," Demyx said.

"Right." That jarred my memory. "Axel always had a strange affinity for fire. As a kid, he liked burning things. As he grew older, so did his affinity for fire. It became an obsession. His parents took him to therapists, but none of them helped. Despite all his negative qualities, I fell in love with him. I don't I can explain why I fell in love with him. It's…complicated."

"It's okay," Demyx said softly. "I understand."

"Anyway, we dated for a while. We were happy together. But then Axel's parents found out and they broke us up," I continued.

"How did they do that?" Demyx asked.

"They made us miserable. It was mostly directed at me. Finally, I gave in. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to fight against them anymore; I wasn't that strong. So I broke up with him."

Demyx stared at me, his eyes filled with tears. I turned away, unable to stare at him any longer. Instead, I stared at my lap.

"I felt like such a horrible person. I broke him. It's all my fault he's like this." Several more tears escaped from my eyes and dripped onto my lap. "After Axel tried to kill himself, I almost lost hope. The only reason why I stayed alive was because he still needed me. Now, he doesn't. He needs Roxas."

Demyx was silent, staring at me. I stared at my lap for a long time, unable to say anything else. Demyx still held my hand.

"I was jealous of Roxas," I said. "He's able to help Axel in a way I've never been able to. I've realized now that Roxas is meant to help Axel. He's going to be the one to heal him. I'm okay with that." I took a deep shuddering breath. "Axel still needs me, as a friend. I'm sitting here having a breakdown when he's just woken up after being sick for so long. Could I be any more selfish?"

"You're not selfish at all." Demyx shook his head. "You have to think of yourself from time to time. You have feelings too, don't you?"

I smiled and wiped away my tears. "You're right. Thank you."

"No problem." Demyx smiled at me.

He hesitated for a moment and then wrapped his arms around me for a light hug. I blinked, surprised, but didn't pull away. It felt good. Demyx finally started to move away. I clung to him. I didn't want him to let go. I wanted this moment to last forever. Demyx looked surprised, but didn't force me off.

"Okay," he whispered. "Okay." He knew I needed this. He knew I needed to be held. Tears spilled out of my eyes and I sniffed softly. I don't know how long we sat there, but it seemed like it was an eternity.

"Thank you, Demyx," I whispered, finally pulling away from him. "Thank you so much."

Demyx smiled. "You're welcome."

Uncertainty flickered in his eyes. Then, he moved forward, closer to me. My breath caught in my throat as he pressed against mine. I let out the breath I had been holding and let my eyes close.

In reality, the kiss didn't last very long, but it seemed to. I reluctantly let Demyx pull away. We stared at each other for a few moments and then I leaned in and kissed him. He seemed shocked at first, but easily relaxed. I wrapped my hand around his head and threaded my fingers through his hair.

He pulled me onto his lap. I quickly adjusted so we were more comfortable, though it was still really awkward. I leaned forward and started kissing him again. He grabbed my forearms, not to try and force me away from him, but to keep himself steady. I moved my lips away from his and gently pressed them against his soft cheek. Then, I moved lower, pressing my lips against his jaw and then his throat.

Demyx moaned softly and tipped his head back, allowing me better access. "Don't…stop…please."

"I won't." I smirked into his neck. "Just tell me if I'm going too fast, okay?"

"I will," Demyx said, his breathing erratic.

I started kissing his neck again. He leaned back, resting his head on the chair's top.

"Can I…touch you?" I asked.

"Yes!" Demyx gasped. "Please."

I loosed my fingers from his hair and dropped them to his waist. I slipped up his shirt, gently touching his soft skin. He wrapped his arms around me and started stroking my back. He slid his fingers up my shirt and rubbed my bare back.

"It would be easier if we weren't wearing shirts," I whispered.

"I agree." Demyx smiled.

We briefly pulled apart and slipped our shirts off. Then we were at it again, gently touching each other. It had been so long since I had been in this position with anyone. The last person I'd been in this sort of position with was Axel. But that was all in the past.

"Is everything okay?" Demyx asked worriedly.

"Fine," I answered with a smile. "Perfect."

"I'm glad." Demyx smiled.

I leaned in and kissed him again. "How far do you want to go?"

Demyx stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" I chose my words carefully. "I think you know what I mean."

"Oh." Demyx flinched.

"We don't have to," I said quickly. "I will not do anything you're not comfortable doing."

"I think we should talk about our relationship," Demyx said.

I nodded. "I agree."

"However," Demyx said, looking around nervously. "I think we should wait until later to talk about this. We may not get another chance for this." He leaned in and nibbled my earlobe, causing me to shiver slightly. "I say we take advantage of the situation."

I smirked. "I agree." I took a deep breath. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah." Demyx nodded.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Do you know what to do?" Demyx asked worriedly. "Because I have no idea."

"Don't worry," I said reassuringly. "I've done it before."

"You have?" Demyx looked confused. Then, he understood. "Axel."

I gently cupped Demyx's chin. "Axel is no longer mine. He belongs to Roxas. My heart belongs to you now."

Demyx simply smiled. Our lips connected again.

"How are we gonna do this?" Demyx asked nervously.

"On the table," I answered.

"On the table?!" Demyx cried. "We're seriously gonna do it on the table?"

"There's nowhere else to do it," I replied.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Demyx smiled.

We shifted our positions so Demyx was on top of the table and I was over him. I leaned down and placed several chaste kisses on his lips.

"Don't panic," I said softly. "Do whatever feels natural to you, okay?" Demyx nodded. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to remember. It had been so long since I had been intimate with another person.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked, opening my eyes. "It's going to hurt. A lot."

"I know," Demyx replied. "I have an imagination, you know. But that doesn't change my mind. I still want to do it."

"Okay." I nodded.

I tried to be gentle with him. Even so, it still hurt. I could see it on his face. Finally, it was over. I collapsed next to him on the table, panting.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, gently pressing my lips to his forehead.

"It's okay." Demyx shook his head. "I knew…it would hurt." He winced slightly as he pushed himself up with his hands.

"What on earth is going on in here?" a voice demanded.

"Crap," I muttered. Demyx gave a soft squeak of embarrassment and tried to cover himself. I turned to the speaker. "Hello Rebecca."

Rebecca's lips tightened. "I'll deal with you in a minute." She turned around. "Aerith, I found them! They're in here!"

Moments later, Aerith rushed in, looking incredibly flustered. "Oh thank goodness. What on earth were they doing in here?"

"See for yourself." Rebecca pointed to us.

Aerith's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness! What were you thinking?!"

"Sorry," Demyx muttered, blushing. He stooped down and picked up his discarded clothes. I did the same.

"I'm afraid Dr. Wise will have to be told about your behavior. It's not acceptable for you two to act like this. Do you understand?" Rebecca said sternly.

"Yes ma'am," Demyx and I mumbled at the same time.

"Finish getting dressed and go back to your rooms. Stay there until you're told otherwise by one of us, okay?"

Demyx and I nodded. We dressed in silence. I didn't dare say anything to him or even look at him. I wanted to apologize to him for getting him into trouble, but when I tried, the words died in my throat.

I sat quietly in my room, staring at the wall. Rebecca brought me lunch in my room and told me that I was to spend the rest of the day in my room reflecting on my actions. Demyx and I were being let off the hook since it was our first offense, but if we did it again, we'd be punished more severely.

Roxas returned late. He had spent most of the day by Axel's side.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at me with a worried expression. "I heard about what happened with you and Demyx. You looked really upset when you left Axel's room and then that happened…"

"I'm fine," I interrupted harshly. Roxas was silent for a while.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he finally said. I stared at him, confused. "I know you still love Axel."

I firmly shook his head. "I don't."

"Don't lie!" Roxas hissed. "That's bullshit and you know it. I _know_ you still care for Axel."

I didn't respond.

The next morning, I went to see Dr. Wise, as usual. We were silent for the first couple minutes. I fidgeted nervously. Normally, I didn't mind the silence, but it was really awkward right now.

"Well…" Dr. Wise nervously cleared his throat. "It seems you had an exciting day yesterday." I nodded, blushing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I guess," I replied. "I suppose it started after Axel woke up. I decided to get Roxas up so he could see Axel. He was really happy to see him. And Axel was really glad too. It made my stomach hurt so I had to leave."

"Why did your stomach start hurting?" Dr. Wise asked.

"I…don't know," I answered nervously.

"I think you do," Dr. Wise said. "Don't run from your feelings. Confront them. It's important for you to confront the feelings you're experiencing so you can grow and become a better person. It's really scary to think about, I know. It's so much easier to not deal with the feelings. It's what a lot of people do—they take the easy way out."

"Right," I mumbled.

Dr. Wise surveyed me carefully. "I can't force you to face your feelings. Only you can do that."

I nodded. It was overwhelming, but I had to try. For Demyx. I took a deep breath. "I was in pain because I was jealous."

"Of Roxas?" Dr. Wise asked.

I nodded. "Seeing him, and seeing how much he cared for Axel, it hurt. I guess I still loved him. All I've ever wanted was for Axel to be happy. I thought I could bring him happiness, but I couldn't. Roxas can. When I was sitting with Demyx in the conference room, I realized that it was okay for me to let go of Axel and move on. So I did. By having sex with Demyx, I was able to let go of my feelings for Axel."

When I left Dr. Wise's office after our session had ended, I felt better. Things were finally starting to look up and maybe, just maybe, I could find happiness again.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, that turned out to be a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would. I wasn't originally planning for Demyx and Zexion to have sex. They were just going to hug. Then I decided they were going to make out. Then I decided they'd try to have sex but get caught before they actually had it, but then I decided that they'd have it and then get caught. Sorry about the non-lemon scene. I was going to write a full blown lemon but I decided not to.

On a more depressing note, I'm not going to be updating again until December. I'm taking November off and doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). So the epilogue won't be posted until December. I'm sorry! I tried really hard to have this done by November, but it didn't work out. So the last chapter will be posted in December. Please let me know if there are any typos. I haven't proofread this at all. All I did was run it through the spell check.


	30. Epilogue: Axel

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: This is it. The final chapter of Burn. Though it's more like an epilogue. Sorry if it sucks.

Epilogue: Axel

Life continued on after I woke up. Things didn't really change that much. Well, except that Roxas and I started dating. Unofficially, of course, since we weren't really supposed to be intimate with each other. We managed to get around that.

I talked with Ansem about my memories and we worked through all that. I was really angry with my parents for what they did, though I slowly got over that.

Demyx was the first of our little "group" to get released from the Psychiatric Ward. He finally came out and admitted that he was gay, though we all kinda already knew it after he was caught having sex with Zexion. Even after Demyx was released, the two of them still managed to keep in contact.

I was the second to leave the Psych Ward. I still had a lot of scars from the fire, but luckily, they're easy to hide. I confronted my parents and then promptly moved out. They were convicted of child abuse among other things and were sentenced to time in prison. I moved in with Reno for a couple months until I was able to get my own place.

Roxas stayed in the hospital for a while longer, but finally got out and moved into his godparents' house. It was only temporary, but became permanent after a long custody battle. He was a lot happier after he moved out of his parents' home and his godparents were very glad to have him there.

He kept in contact with Demyx and me. When he wasn't trying desperately to catch up on all the school he had missed, he had lunch dates with Demyx and me. With the help of summer school, a really good tutor, and some luck, he graduated. On time. It was fucking amazing. He started college as well. Demyx and I had both dropped out of school, but after some coaxing from Roxas, both of us got our high school certificates and went on to attend college.

Zexion's story is a bit lengthier. He stayed in the Psych Ward a lot longer than the rest of us. He battled depression for a while. But he finally managed to get his life back on track and was released from the hospital. He graduated and attended college like the rest of us.

He still had several episodes of depression, but they weren't nearly as bad as before. He and Demyx kept in contact and remained friends for a long time. They eventually started dating and moved in together.

As for Roxas and myself, we also took our relationship slow. But we did start dating…officially. We got an apartment together and have been living together ever since.

And we're happy together

End

A/N: Oh my god, it's over! It's really over. It's been over a year since I first started Burn. It was actually the first Kingdom Hearts story I ever wrote, so it has a special place in my heart. I probably won't be updating Tattered Soul for a little while only because I have finals next week so the rest of this week and next week will be really busy for me. Plus I want to work on A Nobody's Christmas since it is that time of the year. I will try to update Tattered Soul at least once before the new year. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. You know who you are. Your reviews really mean a lot to me!

Oh yes, and I did finish NaNoWriMo. Barely. I made it to 50,053 words and then stopped because I didn't care anymore. The novel was a mess and I just couldn't work on it anymore. But I won.


End file.
